Anonymous

I'm a 16 year old girl and I've never kissed a boy before. I'm in no rush to do anything more than that, but the fact that it's just a kiss, it's not a big deal and I haven't even done that yet makes me feel like a kid. What should I do?

3 Answers

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

No rush :). I'm 18 and I just had my first kiss. :/ Don't rush it. You might regret it for a long time. My first kiss came from my friend who has a boyfriend. "Have you kissed anyone yet?" "Yup. My friend who has a boyfriend. I'm great huh?"

Lia Tan Profile
Lia Tan answered

The average age of getting your first kiss is 15 so you're not that much older than the average. Even though I hate looking at averages (they are not a reliable way of predicting things and/or finding trends), most people who do not have a statistics background do find this comforting so I'm just going to put it out there.

Anyway, I got my first kiss when I was 16 almost 17 and now as a college student, I learned that most of the friends who I hang out with (who are all over the age of 18) still haven't been kissed yet. In other words, you aren't the only one who hasn't been kissed before the age of 16.

And being kissed does not make you more grown up, so don't feel like you are still a kid. To be a grown up, it takes more than just being kissed. Being kissed is not necessarily something simple and meaningless that you just get over with in order to become an adult. Kissing can actually be quite significant, especially in terms of relationships, but it isn't significant enough to completely define who you are! So if other people are telling you how childish you are for never been kissed, then they honestly have no idea what they're talking about and they're the ones being childish for thinking that kissing is a defining factor of the type of person you are.

One last note: For most people, it does help that the person you are kissing is someone important to you so don't feel rushed. My first kiss was a dare so I didn't have the weird pressures of making things perfect but then I lacked the feelings and intensity that went along with kissing. So if you are more comfortable with a situation like mine, then by all means feel free to do that if the opportunity ever is presented to you. But if you think that kissing is something more special, then it's okay to want to save it for someone who is meaningful to you. There is nothing wrong with holding such "old fashion" beliefs.

Anyway, my point is that you shouldn't be in a rush to kiss someone unless you really want to do that and you have the opportunity. If you don't have the opportunity to do so, it doesn't make you a bad person who no one likes. There are plenty of good people who don't get kissed before the age of 16 and right now you are just one of them which is perfectly okay.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

This is probably against popular advice, but if you haven't been kissed, and you're old enough to be trying this kind of stuff out AND it's making you feel anxious or uncomfortable, then I'd recommend you just get it over with.

Obviously, don't just go kissing anyone.. Here's a checklist:

  • Someone attractive
  • Who you can trust
  • And feel comfortable with
  • And doesn't have a girlfriend

After the kiss, you'll probably go through these phases:

  1. Being really nervous beforehand. Worried you won't do it right etc...
  2. Embarrassed or nervous a little more when you find a target and go in for the "kiss"
  3. Excited/pleased/bemused/disappointed - depending on how the kiss went.
  4. Realizing that actually making out isn't such a big deal.
I could be wrong, but I don't actually know anyone that regretted their first kiss for very long. Even if they messed it up, there's always kiss #2, and #3...

Unless you have one kiss and then turn into a nun or something. Your call!

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