How Do You Deal With A Controlling Mother In Law?

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6 Answers

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Tell your husband to grow a pair and put her in her place.
BEN GREGO Profile
BEN GREGO answered
Too bad you have to see her all the time; is there no way out of that particular 'thing'?? Anyway, with people like her, you have to be very very direct while being very very polite...just tell her, politely, what it is she does that you don't like, and that should be the end of it...no adult should have to take any kind of verbal abuse from anyone! Stand up for your rights as a human being!! I know this is easy for me to say, but I once had an overbearing female boss who was a real pill; 3 people left the company because of her!! I went to the owner of the company & told him all this, and he was aware of it...after that, the next time she criticized me for something, I carefully explained why she was wrong, and then politely told her she should really back off and not be so strong with people; after that, she was a pussycat! I know in your situation it's a lot different, but the underlying principle is the same...calmly explain what it is you don't like, & leave it at that...good luck...OH....rehearse to yourself what you are going to say and how you are going to say it...you can say it out loud or just to yourself, in your head...the advance preparation always helps!!!
thanked the writer.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
Thanks for the advice--we had a "discussion" a little while ago and all that came out of it was that i wasn't family to her and that I was selfish and I know you don't know me but i am far from selfish--now things are just stressed with us and i'm trying so hard but it just doesn't work--I'm trying to kill her with kindness but i still get the attitude and looks--it really sucks--now I'm just left to say what i feel and still be considered the b**** of the family-all i ever wanted was a great MIL and i got the short end of the stick-but thanks for the support--keep it coming
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
Tell your husband to deal with her...She is HIS mother not yours!!! If she still continues with her childish behavior have him give her and ultimatum...Either treat you with respect or stay out of your lives. What choice does she really have??? My MIL was the SAME way... Not no more ;-)
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
You need to play her at her own game.
My monster in law gets my partner to feel sorry for her & puts the guilt trip onto him so he goes running. We cannot have a weekend in peace without her & if we make plans without her some "drama" happens so we have to come back.
So now anything she does I do it back
You will find your partner will choose you over her anyday, but you need to be brave & put him in the position!!!!!
Good luck!!!!
She
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My mother in law is childish and selfish, as long as she is doing well and her children are o.k, she could not care less about the rest ,for example my side of the family.Once she called to told me about meeting a man 25 years younger and invited him for coffee at her house! Why doesn´t she tell her adventures to her to daughters?
She dislike a lot and made sarcastic remarks when my husband bought me expensive stuff. Calls every day (!)and always during dinner or five minutes before dinner is served.Said wrong things at the wrong time without taking into consideration that she is hurting peoples feelings.Wants to be the center of attraction all the time regardless of any festivals or parties. Once called when she was drunk and complained to us about the other daughter in law.
Told me that my religion is stupid more than once .Complained to my husband when I don´t answer her call, yep maybe I should sew the phone to my body so that I am available for her everytime!
When my husband is overseas, she would call twice a day to know what we (my son and I) eat for dinner etc.
I think she is a pain in the neck.
Like I said, she is a control freak.Of course she get on my husbands nerves when she called 4 to 5 times a day as my husband has home office.I wish that we can migrate somewhere !!!
I have tried everything to please her but after nearly 15 years of marriage , I can´t do it anymore, the older she gets the worse her character gets.She is bitchy.
She talks bad about the other daughter in law to me, it made me very uncomfortable, cause she does this frequently.According to her,the other daughter in law gave birth to a child from another man but not her son as the girl don´t look like any of them!
She even wants to do test so that she knows for sure that her money will go to the right person.
Put vegetable oil on our hinges without asking but don´t take shower(two days) at her daughter´s  pent- house because she might dirty it.Stayed five days for X-mas, got drunk and misbehave.Sick. Sick. Sick.Got drunk also at my brother in law wedding and her daughter have to bring her to bed bec she was making a scene.
I  made up my mind, I tell her off .It works.I play her game. Right now the ball is on my side.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Mine is a real monster. She is actually beyond belief. People who meet her realise what living hell I am in. She is a control freak and mental. My husband works in her business so she thinks she has brought me and I owe her for breathing.
She critisises the way I dress, my hair, housework. She is rude about my parents and has no consideration to what my childrn hear.
My husband would take my kids to her home as I have decided not to put myself up to the stress. She would fill them with rubbish food and drinks full of sugar.
Also allowing them to do things that are potentially dangerous and not agree to have simple rules like throwing balls in the house, which confuse my kids because they can not do things at home that they do at their nans.
I have tried the nicely niccely approach. No joy! I have tried the firm approach. Still no joy.
I am at the end of my tether. My poor hubby is in the middle. He stands up for me but she always wins him round by threatening his job.
I want to run away. She makes me cry all the time. I have just started my own business to enable some financial independence.
What do I do???
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I've been treated the same way and what helped me to understand her child like behavior I decided to google it. Google "How To Deal With Mother-in-law" or "How To Deal With Daughter-in-law". Google both! It may help you understand and what to do in hard times like this. When you google this you must look for "Wiki How". I pretty much don't deal with people who act like children in a 50 year old body and remember it's not you that needs the help they do.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My mother-in-law is big and dominate and I have told my wife to put her in her place but hadn't  been unable to get her to mind her own business. A few years after we were married Amanda was away on a week long business trip and I came home sick and was home for a day when coming out of the shower I had on put on a bathrobe as I headed down stairs to watch some TV. Around noon I had taken some more aspirin, for my head ache and fever along with a large glass of water and went to the bathroom. When I came out my mother-in-law was standing in the kitchen (she has her own key for emergencies or if we lock ourselves out)  she had brought me some chicken soup as Amanda had told her I was home sick. I thanked her and she started to clean and I told her that wasn't necessary and all that I needed was rest. As usual she didn't listen and continued as if I wasn't even there then wanted to vacuum in the den were I was then wanted me to put one of her shows on and I told her no and to please leave. She then took the remote and changed the channel to which I responded "what the hell are you doing I have a headache, fever and you are adding to my discomfort by being your regular pain in the ass". BIG MISTAKE !   I learned why my wife had been reluctant and unable to stop her mother. She came over to me laying on the couch and grabbed me by the back of my robe around my neck and pulled me to my feet. My robe came apart to which she smiled and said well that's convent, sat down and pulled me over her knee while putting the back of robe on my back exposing my heiney cheeks and started to spank me. It was then that I learned just how strong big mama was as I couldn't get up squirm off her lap or get up. She spanked me to tears over her knee. Afterwards she took my robe off as I tried to stop crying and tied the robes belt around one wrist and walked me around to the back of the couch and bent me over the back and came back to the front and wrapped the belt around the leg and tied my other wrist. She then went back around to my blind side and I heard her undo her leather belt telling her that I hadn't seen anything yet, as far as being a pain in my ass, and proceeded to whip my naked ass to her satisfaction. Then on top of all of my embarrassment and humiliation she walked out the back door leaving it wide open and returned a few minutes later and took several pictures of my naked red ass and "how the big man fell". Later that night I got a call from my wife asking me how my day went. All I could say was fine the usual   still not feeling too well and a little fever. She started laughing and chiding me saying really, just a usual day? Just a little fever? Is your email up? Yes why? Well I just sent you an email pull it up won't you? As I did I saw why she was laughing. Her mom sent her the pictures she took. If today was an average day I can't wait to come home and give you an outstanding day or should I say just a standing day. Now I am spanked by both my wife and mother-in-law.

Markiee

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