My Mother In Law Is Driving Me Crazy, What Should I Do?

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6 Answers

M Miller Profile
M Miller answered
This is a very touchy subject...."mothers" :)  Personally, if my mother constantly called for this & that, I would and most importantly, I could put a stop to it- but when you're dealing with HIS mom- things just take a whole other color. 
First of all, you need to see if in fact she needs this assistance or is she just calling out for attention?  Does she have anyone else she can ask for help or only your husband?  Does she do this only during certain times (when she's upset, depressed, lonely, etc.)?  Does she require medical attention (medically and/or mentally)?  Is she jealous, that is, did you guys just get married and is she perhaps trying to hold on to "her little boy"?  And the same goes with him -your husband- is he trying to pamper her with attention because he feels guilty for some reason? 
I can totally see how this would make you dislike him, but you really need to analyze every little aspect of this very uncomfortable and most annoying situation.  I've learned (the hard way!) that it never works to just get upset at your husband 'cause he's always going to get defensive when you do this- remember, it's his mom, like it or not.  That said, try talking to him calmly and tell him why this is upsetting not only you personally- but your relationship in general.  Chances are he's probably not very happy with the situation either- so once he sees that you're trying to be understanding- he'll most likely agree with you and at that point, both of you can put two heads together & figure out a solution that will work for all three of you :)
thanked the writer.
Thickness
Thickness commented
thank you for the answer and the answer is yes to every question. other then the fact that we've been together for 10yrs. I do think she is jealous of me because he went from taking care of her to taking care of me and our 3 kids so no when she asks for money she cant always get it because we don't always have it to give and she made a comment that "He can take care of that [email protected] but he cant give his mama no money " like we didn't just buy a house and have kids .
M Miller
M Miller commented
Then it all boils down to your hubby :) You need to have a heart to heart talk with him and just "try" to get him to see the big picture. I had a mother in law from hell....so believe me, I can totally relate. At this point, there's no sense in trying to make her understand anything because she's not gonna and she just doesn't want to. So it's all on his shoulders: he needs to understand that you & the kids come first and then his mom- that's just the way things are....period :)
Jacquelyn Mathis Profile
She definitely doesn't need to be around the kids while she is doing this, and you as a parent have a say in this, make her leave the house to do that stuff. Your son must love her, but there is a time for a man to do what he made for himself, and that means to make you and your kids first. You need to have a serious talk with him about it. Hope this helps.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Sounds like it is time to have a sit down talk, and tell him you love her and respect his love for her, but you feel she is taking advantage of the two of you sometimes.
thanked the writer.
Thickness
Thickness commented
you hit the nail right on the head thats how I feel but to tell the truth I don't think she should be around our kids because all she does is drink and smoke weed all day and as our kids get older I'm scare she will let them do drugs to
Cyndi C. Profile
Cyndi C. answered
Sounds like you need to have a sit-down talk with both--him & her, and lay the law down...I had practically the same problem.....she wanted to be number 1.....and she was determined to make that happen, no matter what.
Lay the law down----be honest...It is WAY too energy draining to be Abused in this way, it's not good for your health...STRESS Can, and will cause you to get physically ill....and it can manifest in all kinds of areas of your body...I know this by experience...cyndi
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Think most comments here are from other women. Anyway, I'm a man but I can relate to your problem because I have a MIL (also for the last ten years) who is an absolutely insane bitch. She is truly evil and manipulative in all kinds of ways. Now, that in itself is not a big deal in my opinion. There are plenty of awful people out there... My problem (and I think also your problem) is the my spouse always takes her side. Always... It is destroying our marriage, which indeed may be my MILs intention. Bottom line: You NEED to get your hubby on your side. Once you guys are a team, you'll be able to deal with the MIL together. If you can't get him to understand, nothing will ever get better (in fact, it will only get worse).
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My mother-in-law she is more crazy than yours. She even try to put me in mental hospital. She had a friend doctor, so they both decided to do it for me. Thanks god, judge send me to other doctor for consultation not a they are family member. So I was for 100% normal. And the crazy turned out it was she MIL

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