Who Says Their Vows First In A Wedding Ceremony? Groom Or Bride?


15 Answers

Simon Lazarus Profile
Simon Lazarus answered
It is traditional that the groom goes first, and religious ceremonies usually stick to this tradition. However there is no ruling that the groom has to go first so it can be decided between the bride and groom, and it is quite common in modern civil ceremonies that the bride be the first one to say their vow.

Marriage vows are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other during a wedding ceremony. Marriage customs have developed over history and keep changing as human society develops. In secular ceremonies, vows can be chosen freely or created by the couple. Couples marrying within a religious tradition are often constrained to use the standard vows of that tradition's ceremony.

Many couples today opt to write their own vows. Inspirations are often taken from poems, movies, or music. Vows usually consist of what characteristics each bring out in each other, what they look forward to in life; how their lives changed once they met. Vows tend to last 2 - 3 minutes in length and are a public expression of love.

The original wedding vows for the Church of England, printed in The Book of Common Prayer, are:

Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to be my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to my lawful wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

Then, as the groom places the ring on the bride's finger, he says the following:

With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
This is only one from of vows and each religion has their own version of wedding vows.
Penny Kay Profile
Penny Kay answered
I have seen it both ways, nowadays with more people writing vows and doing their own weddings, I don't think there is one right way.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
The groom says it first.  I have done both Christian and non-Christian weddings and the opinion of the party, parents and pastors/officiant have all been the same.  Groom first.   And nice thumbs down to whoever did that to all the responses saying groom first to get them at the bottom of the list. Seriously?
Ariette Coleman Profile
Ariette Coleman answered

It's the Groom who says the wedding vows first. I have attended in a lot of weddings, may it be a ballroom wedding or outdoor themed wedding and it's always the Groom who says the wedding vows first.

Rachel Duncan Profile
Rachel Duncan answered
I believe I said mine first, and I am a female, my sister just got married a couple days ago and she said hers first. So my answer is the bride
Jo W. Profile
Jo W. answered
Hi larry,

When we got married 25 years ago I, the bride, said my vows first. We were married in a Catholic church, if that helps any.

Maybe it has to do with the religion or the preference of the person officiating at the ceremony, I really don't know. Good topic for research!

Best of luck!!

William Hook Profile
William Hook answered

Traditionally groom says his first vows followed by the bride. Vows can be different depending on the wedding couple choice. It can be a religious exchange said by the officiant, classic vows designed by the wedding couple itself that involves quotes and maybe some self-written vows. But it will be started by the groom only.

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