Is My Boyfriend Of 4 Years A Possible Borderline Pedophile And What Should I Do Next?

2 Answers

Astrid Grey Profile
Astrid Grey answered
I left my answer to this in 'shout' form. It's backwards, however. One more thing I should add is that some of what I have said may seem incredibly simplistic, and I am not mocking your wisdom or intelligence. It's just that sometimes when we're actually involved in situations, our emotions and attachments tend to make us forget some pretty basic, important points and a reminder can be helpful.

Oh, and I guess, even one more thing I should add, is that when I said men set the strength, women set the tone, I was not being sexist. There are differences between sexes in general, obviously this is why we are attracted to the opposite sex, and yes, of course both genders have a masculine and feminine side and qualities. That said, I merely meant that the strength of the relationship is generally set by the men, how much they're in it, what they're willing to contribute or fight for it and us, etc. Usually the tone is set by us women, how do we interact. That's a pretty basic explanation for what I mean, at the same time it is more complex and more simple than that, but if you think about it, it should become apparent.

Okay, and one last last thing... When I was explaining the possibilities with your guy, what I meant about the pornography/teen fetish could have been stated in more concise manner such as: Because photography can be numbing, after a while of looking at basic "hot babe" pornography, (for example, porn with girls looking similar to what you described the movie stars he's attracted to look like), he may get bored and need to move to something a little more to the left or right of that, and so on and so forth.

Just remember, if the guy's with you, especially if you carried his child and have been together for four years, he is obviously attracted to you. He of course thinks you're beautiful and sexy, or he probably wouldn't be with you (I know, there's more to a relationship than that, but that's an important part as well). Maybe, in the end, if you are uncomfortable with him looking at other women, you could talk about ways to help him in that arena.

Okay, done with this part. Read the shout. Good luck, stay optimistic, it will be all right, whatever happens.
thanked the writer.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
For an example of what exactly he has been looking at, go to teeniebums.com. He doesn't realize that I check the cookies (He deletes the history & searches under private ever since I talked to him about this. He has claimed that he doesn't know what his problem is, and that he knows he has one. He also has a friend who disclosed a few nights ago that said friend doesn't believe that it is wrong for children to have sex with adults as children are sexual in the first place.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
My partner also is the one who claimed he looks at younger girls because he doesn't like plastic surgery/fake boobs, but as I mentioned, he doesn't seem to have a problem being attracted to movie stars with fake faces and boobs (I am constantly told that I am beautiful by women and men, so this doesn't bother me- More the fact that his claim is contrary to what I've noticed). Also, the girls more often than not appear to be prepubescent, and are usually in little girl with Daddy scenarios.
Astrid Grey Profile
Astrid Grey answered
I left my answer to this in 'shout' form. It's backwards, however. One more thing I should add is that some of what I have said may seem incredibly simplistic, and I am not mocking your wisdom or intelligence. It's just that sometimes when we're actually involved in situations, our emotions and attachments tend to make us forget some pretty basic, important points and a reminder can be helpful.

Oh, and I guess, even one more thing I should add, is that when I said men set the strength, women set the tone, I was not being sexist. There are differences between sexes in general, obviously this is why we are attracted to the opposite sex, and yes, of course both genders have a masculine and feminine side and qualities. That said, I merely meant that the strength of the relationship is generally set by the men, how much they're in it, what they're willing to contribute or fight for it and us, etc. Usually the tone is set by us women, how do we interact. That's a pretty basic explanation for what I mean, at the same time it is more complex and more simple than that, but if you think about it, it should become apparent.

Okay, and one last last thing... When I was explaining the possibilities with your guy, what I meant about the pornography/teen fetish could have been stated in more concise manner such as: Because photography can be numbing, after a while of looking at basic "hot babe" pornography, (for example, porn with girls looking similar to what you described the movie stars he's attracted to look like), he may get bored and need to move to something a little more to the left or right of that, and so on and so forth.

Just remember, if the guy's with you, especially if you carried his child and have been together for four years, he is obviously attracted to you. He of course thinks you're beautiful and sexy, or he probably wouldn't be with you (I know, there's more to a relationship than that, but that's an important part as well). Maybe, in the end, if you are uncomfortable with him looking at other women, you could talk about ways to help him in that arena.

Okay, done with this part. Read the shout. Good luck, stay optimistic, it will be all right, whatever happens.

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Anonymous