My Three Year Old Child Absolutely Insists On Doing Things Herself, But She Tends To Take Too Long And Whenever I Try To Hurry Her Along A Little, She Throws Temper Tantrums. How Can I Stop This?


8 Answers

Aimee Rogers Profile
Aimee Rogers answered
Most children tend to reach an age where they feel independent and they get frustrated if they cannot do things by themselves. This means that your three year old is perfectly normal and that they are expressing ordinary feelings for their age. However, it can be frustrating to watch and often parents find that unless their child hurries up, they are going to be late getting out.

The first thing you should do is to try and get ready extra early. If you know that your child likes to do things for themselves but they make you late, it is a lot easier to just get up earlier or start getting ready earlier. That way, they get to do what they want at the speed that they want to, and you won't be late or have a temper tantrum to deal with!

If you cannot get up earlier or get ready any earlier, you could always try bribing them. Tell them they can do whatever they like later, but make sure that they can otherwise they will not fall for it again!

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Don't worry all the girls have the same nature, they always concern with small details they have spyful eyes which watch their parents carefully all the time and when they catch a chance they do the same and never leave that chance to miss them without trying to try their own skills to perform it .

So I suggest not to prevent her from doing anything by herself except for things which may harm her you have to prevent her in a calm way not shouting at her and to satisfy her and also yourself,

get ready sometime earlier than you used to, to give her suitable time to do what she want and give yourself chance not to be upset with her habit and not to make gap between your needs and hers

if the situation not suitable to give her more time so you have to engage her mind with something else she likes very much like chocolate or a toy or any other things you know she likes

My advice to you as a mother to the same age:

You have not to pay attention to any bad behaviour and when you give the advice be calm and not nervous

Second, you always have to keep new things (sweets, toys, safty tools,etc....) in your cupboard to show them to your child and bribe her with one anytime you need to solve the problem.

Good luck
nick godber Profile
nick godber answered
When my little girl was about this age she was trying to learn to tie her own shoe laces and boy did she get frustrated with it she would sit day and night trying with temper tantrums flowing frequently I used to bribe her by suggesting that I do it for her in a morning and she do it in the afternoon after nursery It eased the tantrums but she was adamant that she was going to learn to do this and she did it only took her one week, I would suggest that you persevere and also encourage her to do this she will be so pleased when she finally manages it, it sounds like you have a very determined little girl.
All the best.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
All I can say is...That's how children are...Especially at 2 and 3...They all reach a stage where they try to be independent and do things themselves and of course if you try to help them, they will throw little hissy fits....It's something she will generally grow out of...She's just going through a stage right now...
SOX Profile
SOX answered
When my children were at that age, I tried to narrow the choices down to give them a chance to be independent but to not drive you crazy. You could say something like "would you like to wear the blue dress or the white dress to school today? Or would you like to have cereal or toast for breakfast? When there are too many things to pick from they get angry because of frustration. So keep it simple and stick to your rules, when she sees that this is the way it will be she will give in. Always praise and reward when things are done well. Never reward with food,use stickers or other treats. Good Luck,
Polly Hinchliffe Profile
If your child likes doing things herself then try to let her do as many as possible if she isn't in danger of hurting herself.
She throws temper tantrums becayse she's trying hard to be independant and this can be frustarting for children and their parents. Don't accept the tantrums ans tell her that you don't think she should be doing this but do try to let her feel her feet and do as much as she can for herself.
Ellie Laird Profile
Ellie Laird answered
Don't worry.It's perfectly natural. Why not let her help you with things like shopping and let her choose her clothes she wants to wear and make her feel like she is being clever than you.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Don't try and hurry the child up. You need to work on your patience rather than trying to alter the behaviour of the child, who is still learning and needs to go through the process slowly in order to be sure of him or herself.

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