How To Control Your Temper?


18 Answers

Larry Patterson Profile
Larry Patterson answered
I do it too but I am getting better.
One person reminded me that when you lose your temper, you've pretty much lost the argument.
And I saw a saying:  When a person is wrong and won't admit, the person always gets angry.
Bu there are times when the body and mind become outraged for good reason and a very pointed response is entirely appropriate.  Just keep it under control.
Big Hearted Profile
Big Hearted answered
it's easier to loose your temper then it is to admit your wrong and everyone knows that. You need to notice your red flags and when you feel yourself beginning to loose control do something to make yourself laugh. I know you probably thinking who ganna laugh when they are so upset but honestly it works. It doesn't matter what your choice of laugh be maybe you can bust out the words to your favorite show tune or think of how funny you looked the last time you tried to dance in public. As long as your letting the blood rush back down from the evil areas in your brain. I find when me and my boyfriend are arguing and if feel a serious confrontation coming I make funny faces at him until he laughs and then we come back to the situation when neither of us are so frustrated
TOm White Profile
TOm White answered
Mental arisings, including anger, occur for many reasons. The most effective way to stop them is to understand them, which is extremely difficult. To do that you have to observe every step your mind takes from action to reaction. And the only way to develop the awareness required to do that is to practice awareness through focus meditation.

The focus can be a spot on the wall or some activity like walking, the idea is just to practice being fully aware. Once your mind is calm enough to have in-depth awareness, you can then start to observe these mental arisings. Don't be fooled into thinking this will be done quickly, it is actually very hard to do, at least at first.

Once you have developed your ability to focus, then you can practice forcing these emotions to arise in a safe environment. You could focus yourself, then imagine an event happening that causes anger, then mentally observe the process of change that happens in your mind.

This is Buddhism, by the way, if you didn't know that. Shamatha and Vipassana meditation, to be specific. The rest of Buddhism (eightfold path, etc.) is just to support these two activities.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well maybe you should just think and look at the other person and be like geez I'm hurting them...! Because you will push them away if you keep yelling or getting angry with them..! And also you should reward your self and you partner when your on your best behavior..!
Tim O'Shea Profile
Tim O'Shea answered
This is kind of weird but it works, it's harder to get angry and aggressive when you are naked. So if you find that you are about to explode take off all your clothes (if you are in a situation that you can of course!). When naked you are more vunrable, and therefore naturally less aggressive.
Dizzy Di Profile
Dizzy Di answered
I know a couple of people like that.
One of the guys that I know found out that he was keeping things that bothered him bottled up.
When he finally could not take it anymore, he would EXPLODE.
He usually hurt the people that he loved the most.
His therapist told him to express his feelings more...without hurtful words.
Use the words "I feel" instead of "You make me feel".
That way, you are getting your point across without blaming others.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I used to do that, but now when I'm mad I just leave and go lock myself in a room until I cool down and then go and talk with them rationally.
Emraan Varshani Profile
Emraan Varshani answered
It's very difficult, but still you can control it.....
And this has been scientifically proved.....
At the time of anger, if you are standing, then sit down...and if you are sitting, then stand up......
Or else
at the time of anger, try and start counting from 1-20...automatically your temper will loose its control...and will go off.....
once at least try the second sure it will work....
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I like your question since involved in your question is concern for others.  I didn't see anyone recommending anything in the health category.  Getting enough sleep is vital.  More sleep=better ability to control emotions.  Also burn off some of the anger by getting a solitary run in if you have the sidewalks and the time.  Lastly, make sure you have something you can enjoy regularly in your schedule.  Order up some fun magazines or read a good book for fifteen minutes a day.  Getting new 'stuff' in your mail box can sometimes be a break in the trend of things.  If you're a person of Faith share some good times with your members, even if its just miniature golf.  Hope this helps.
suman kumar Profile
suman kumar answered
Temper or ego are the main devils in our daily lives. First of all asses why you are having short temper. Calm down yourself when you are angry, stay away from the people whom you are angry with.
Shezan Shaikh Profile
Shezan Shaikh answered
Temper can be a threat to any one, the first thing you need to do to control your temper is…talk to yourself. You need to feel that you are important and that nothing people do can make you angry after all you are what you are and you like it that way. If someone pushes you to that break point just resist by saying that you are better than him/her and raising your temper for them is just not worth it. Raging tempers have resulted in death on various occasions, and you don't want to become a murdered or a victim in any case.

To control your temper you can also join yoga classes as they will give you a peace of mind, you can also join some spiritual class which will help you in controlling your temper. Once you get hold of your raging temper you can easily become more strong will, because it's not easy to ignore provocation.
bree none Profile
bree none answered
Controlling ones temper is not always viable as many of you know so the best thing I can suggest is finding a way to release the anger without hurting yourself or others I do this by writing that way I can be as aggressive as I feel like and nobody gets hurt. This takes practice and more practice but it does work and you can do it. I started by writing about other feelings besides anger and then it was easier to turn to my pen when angered.
Mia Teeliumtrozzle Profile
Whenever you want to give someone a piece of your mind, give them a piece of your heart instead.That is, whenever you feel angry at someone and want to yell at them, be compassionate to them instead.This works for me.
suman kumar Profile
suman kumar answered
Controlling temper is one of the toughest job for any person. Calm down yourself first, do not talk to anybody for 10-15 min, it will get controlled
Fangju Fangju Profile
Fangju Fangju answered
1. Self-encouragement method using some philosophy or some famous comfort
themselves, to encourage themselves from pain, adversity and fight. Entertain,
make your mood better. 2. Language Language is the impact of emotional
adjustment method a powerful tool. If you are sad, reading funny, humorous
verse, can eliminate the grief. Use "system anger," "tolerance," "cool" and
other self-reminders, self-command, self-suggestion, but also can regulate their
own emotions. 3. Environmental Constraints on the emotional environment has an
important role in regulating and restricting. Depressed when to walk outside,
can play a regulatory role. Unpleasant feelings when to do some casino games,
will Xiaochou boredom. Emotional concerns, the best way is to look at funny
movies. 4. Attention laws you attention from the negative to positive,
meaningful aspects, the mood will become clear. For example, when you encounter
distress, you can forget about it or find the bright side, it will eliminate
distress. 5. Vent adverse emotional energy method can be arranged, through
appropriate channels and vent. Negative emotional catharsis can not be properly
and easily affect the physical and mental health. Therefore, the cry should cry;
upset to find good friends when the talk; dissatisfaction to blow off steam, out
of venting anger appropriately; depression can sing cheerful songs.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

There are only 4 reasons to get angry. Guilt, Embarrassment, Loss and Harm.
So how do I know this. I was born suffering from manic depression. I
grew up not knowing I had it or that I was any different than anyone
else. I learned to cope. Mostly I withdrew from everything and everyone
around me. Fast forward to age 28. My wife went through a bout of
depression and our doctor referred her to a psychiatrist. At one point
he asked her to take me along. I think it was to find out where she was
coming from. Anyway after about three sessions of going together he
asked me to see him without my wife. Foolish me, I thought it was to
discuss my wife. Of course I eventually figured out that you can't go to
a psychiatrist to solve someone else's problems. Go figure. When I
asked him why I was there he told me that he thought I suffered from
depression. Eventually he refined that to manic depression. He explained
it all to me as we went along. My brain di
dn't make enough of one chemical and too much of another. He offered me
some medication which I promptly refused until I turned 35 and went
through the worst bout of depression I had ever had. In desperation I
accepted the pills and now, with many changes due to new drugs on the
market etc I take 2 kinds of medication and am sort of stable. They
don't stop it they just take the edge off. I went to him for about 10
years and over that time I would occasionally go to a session and "spin
my tires" so to speak. On those occasions we would discuss other things.
One of them was my anger. It wasn't explosive or anything but it
bothered me. I'm a bit of a control freak. This is when he explained to
me why a person gets angry, guilt, embarrassment, loss or harm. That's
the condensed version of how I think about them. The longer version is:
Guilt-real or imagined, physical or emotional and any other reason to
feel guilty you can come up with. Embarrassment-doesn't come up too
often fo
r me. It has to be acute to really affect me but others are different.
Loss-fear of loss or actual loss. Real or imagined it doesn't matter if
you feel a sense of loss it's valid for you.Harm- a fear of physical
harm. Again real or imagined just as long as you feel it. So that being
said whenever you feel angry you have to ask yourself which of these 4
or combination of them. This is the important part! You have to be
honest, sometimes brutally honest with yourself. Think it over, from all
angels until you really understand why you were angry. No fudging. For
example, they did this to me and made me mad at them. They didn't make you angry YOU caused
your anger. It's no body's else's fault you get angry you are in
control of yourself. You have to do this right after it happens. Don't
wait. Put yourself on auto pilot to deal with the world around you and
honestly think over your anger. Always! As time passes you will find
yourself thinking it through
while you are angry. Next you will be figuring it out before you get
angry. Then you don't get angry. Too busy thinking it through I guess.
 Sounds simple doesn't it. It's not. It takes time, dedication and
commitment. Being honest with yourself about why you get angry instead
of blaming it on someone else (as you've always done) is not easy. But
in the end it's well worth the effort.Well, that's my long sad (not)
story. I got lucky. Hope it rubs off on you. By the way I'm 67 now so
I've been at this a long time and I'm exceedingly happy with my life.

karan kumar Profile
karan kumar answered
It is not very difficult, you can do this by counting numbers from 1 to 10. I think it is the best way to reduce the short temper.

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