I do it too but I am getting better. One person reminded me that when you lose your temper, you've pretty much lost the argument. And I saw a saying: When a person is wrong and won't admit, the person always gets angry. Bu there are times when the body and mind become outraged for good reason and a very pointed response is entirely appropriate. Just keep it under control.
it's easier to loose your temper then it is to admit your wrong and everyone knows that. You need to notice your red flags and when you feel yourself beginning to loose control do something to make yourself laugh. I know you probably thinking who ganna laugh when they are so upset but honestly it works. It doesn't matter what your choice of laugh be maybe you can bust out the words to your favorite show tune or think of how funny you looked the last time you tried to dance in public. As long as your letting the blood rush back down from the evil areas in your brain. I find when me and my boyfriend are arguing and if feel a serious confrontation coming I make funny faces at him until he laughs and then we come back to the situation when neither of us are so frustrated
Mental arisings, including anger, occur for many reasons. The most effective way to stop them is to understand them, which is extremely difficult. To do that you have to observe every step your mind takes from action to reaction. And the only way to develop the awareness required to do that is to practice awareness through focus meditation.
The focus can be a spot on the wall or some activity like walking, the idea is just to practice being fully aware. Once your mind is calm enough to have in-depth awareness, you can then start to observe these mental arisings. Don't be fooled into thinking this will be done quickly, it is actually very hard to do, at least at first.
Once you have developed your ability to focus, then you can practice forcing these emotions to arise in a safe environment. You could focus yourself, then imagine an event happening that causes anger, then mentally observe the process of change that happens in your mind.
This is Buddhism, by the way, if you didn't know that. Shamatha and Vipassana meditation, to be specific. The rest of Buddhism (eightfold path, etc.) is just to support these two activities.
Well maybe you should just think and look at the other person and be like geez I'm hurting them...! Because you will push them away if you keep yelling or getting angry with them..! And also you should reward your self and you partner when your on your best behavior..!
This is kind of weird but it works, it's harder to get angry and aggressive when you are naked. So if you find that you are about to explode take off all your clothes (if you are in a situation that you can of course!). When naked you are more vunrable, and therefore naturally less aggressive.
I know a couple of people like that. One of the guys that I know found out that he was keeping things that bothered him bottled up. When he finally could not take it anymore, he would EXPLODE. He usually hurt the people that he loved the most.
His therapist told him to express his feelings more...without hurtful words. Use the words "I feel" instead of "You make me feel". That way, you are getting your point across without blaming others.
It's very difficult, but still you can control it..... And this has been scientifically proved..... At the time of anger, if you are standing, then sit down...and if you are sitting, then stand up...... Or else at the time of anger, try and start counting from 1-20...automatically your temper will loose its control...and will go off.....
once at least try the second option..am sure it will work....
I like your question since involved in your question is concern for others. I didn't see anyone recommending anything in the health category. Getting enough sleep is vital. More sleep=better ability to control emotions. Also burn off some of the anger by getting a solitary run in if you have the sidewalks and the time. Lastly, make sure you have something you can enjoy regularly in your schedule. Order up some fun magazines or read a good book for fifteen minutes a day. Getting new 'stuff' in your mail box can sometimes be a break in the trend of things. If you're a person of Faith share some good times with your members, even if its just miniature golf. Hope this helps.
Temper or ego are the main devils in our daily lives. First of all asses why you are having short temper. Calm down yourself when you are angry, stay away from the people whom you are angry with.
Temper can be a threat to any one, the first thing you need to do to control your temper is…talk to yourself. You need to feel that you are important and that nothing people do can make you angry after all you are what you are and you like it that way. If someone pushes you to that break point just resist by saying that you are better than him/her and raising your temper for them is just not worth it. Raging tempers have resulted in death on various occasions, and you don't want to become a murdered or a victim in any case.
To control your temper you can also join yoga classes as they will give you a peace of mind, you can also join some spiritual class which will help you in controlling your temper. Once you get hold of your raging temper you can easily become more strong will, because it's not easy to ignore provocation.
Controlling ones temper is not always viable as many of you know so the best thing I can suggest is finding a way to release the anger without hurting yourself or others I do this by writing that way I can be as aggressive as I feel like and nobody gets hurt. This takes practice and more practice but it does work and you can do it. I started by writing about other feelings besides anger and then it was easier to turn to my pen when angered.
Whenever you want to give someone a piece of your mind, give them a piece of your heart instead.That is, whenever you feel angry at someone and want to yell at them, be compassionate to them instead.This works for me.
1. Self-encouragement method using some philosophy or some famous comfort themselves, to encourage themselves from pain, adversity and fight. Entertain, make your mood better. 2. Language Language is the impact of emotional adjustment method a powerful tool. If you are sad, reading funny, humorous verse, can eliminate the grief. Use "system anger," "tolerance," "cool" and other self-reminders, self-command, self-suggestion, but also can regulate their own emotions. 3. Environmental Constraints on the emotional environment has an important role in regulating and restricting. Depressed when to walk outside, can play a regulatory role. Unpleasant feelings when to do some casino games, will Xiaochou boredom. Emotional concerns, the best way is to look at funny movies. 4. Attention laws you attention from the negative to positive, meaningful aspects, the mood will become clear. For example, when you encounter distress, you can forget about it or find the bright side, it will eliminate distress. 5. Vent adverse emotional energy method can be arranged, through appropriate channels and vent. Negative emotional catharsis can not be properly and easily affect the physical and mental health. Therefore, the cry should cry; upset to find good friends when the talk; dissatisfaction to blow off steam, out of venting anger appropriately; depression can sing cheerful songs.
There are only 4 reasons to get angry. Guilt, Embarrassment, Loss and Harm. So how do I know this. I was born suffering from manic depression. I grew up not knowing I had it or that I was any different than anyone else. I learned to cope. Mostly I withdrew from everything and everyone around me. Fast forward to age 28. My wife went through a bout of depression and our doctor referred her to a psychiatrist. At one point he asked her to take me along. I think it was to find out where she was coming from. Anyway after about three sessions of going together he asked me to see him without my wife. Foolish me, I thought it was to discuss my wife. Of course I eventually figured out that you can't go to a psychiatrist to solve someone else's problems. Go figure. When I asked him why I was there he told me that he thought I suffered from depression. Eventually he refined that to manic depression. He explained it all to me as we went along. My brain di dn't make enough of one chemical and too much of another. He offered me some medication which I promptly refused until I turned 35 and went through the worst bout of depression I had ever had. In desperation I accepted the pills and now, with many changes due to new drugs on the market etc I take 2 kinds of medication and am sort of stable. They don't stop it they just take the edge off. I went to him for about 10 years and over that time I would occasionally go to a session and "spin my tires" so to speak. On those occasions we would discuss other things. One of them was my anger. It wasn't explosive or anything but it bothered me. I'm a bit of a control freak. This is when he explained to me why a person gets angry, guilt, embarrassment, loss or harm. That's the condensed version of how I think about them. The longer version is: Guilt-real or imagined, physical or emotional and any other reason to feel guilty you can come up with. Embarrassment-doesn't come up too often fo r me. It has to be acute to really affect me but others are different. Loss-fear of loss or actual loss. Real or imagined it doesn't matter if you feel a sense of loss it's valid for you.Harm- a fear of physical harm. Again real or imagined just as long as you feel it. So that being said whenever you feel angry you have to ask yourself which of these 4 or combination of them. This is the important part! You have to be honest, sometimes brutally honest with yourself. Think it over, from all angels until you really understand why you were angry. No fudging. For example, they did this to me and made me mad at them. They didn't make you angry YOUcaused your anger. It's no body's else's fault you get angry you are in control of yourself. You have to do this right after it happens. Don't wait. Put yourself on auto pilot to deal with the world around you and honestly think over your anger. Always! As time passes you will find yourself thinking it through while you are angry. Next you will be figuring it out before you get angry. Then you don't get angry. Too busy thinking it through I guess. Sounds simple doesn't it. It's not. It takes time, dedication and commitment. Being honest with yourself about why you get angry instead of blaming it on someone else (as you've always done) is not easy. But in the end it's well worth the effort.Well, that's my long sad (not) story. I got lucky. Hope it rubs off on you. By the way I'm 67 now so I've been at this a long time and I'm exceedingly happy with my life.
