Why Do I Always Feel So Lonely Even When I'm Surrounded By People That "Love" Me? And How Can I STOP Feeling This Way?


34 Answers

greg c Profile
greg c answered
I see that you put love in quote marks. That tells me that you might be questioning whether or not these people you refer to actually love you. Whether they do or not, you might ask yourself why you think they may not. And "always". Are you sure that there's never been a time when you haven't felt that way in that situation? Not once? If you can find one or two times where you haven't felt completely lonely then you can use a word that's not so extreme. It will help you to minimize your problem, make it not seem so overwhelming. And as others have stated, it's part of growing up, maturing. What you're going through has happened to just about everybody at one time or another. So don't feel like you're the only one! Developing your self-esteem and self-confidence is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. Step back, take a few deep breaths, stay in control of your emotions, and you'll get through this tough time. You'll look back on this later and see how strong you've become because of it.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Young people will sometimes go through periods of loneliness when they are discovering who they really are. I can remember feeling the exact same way that you did when I was your age. The best thing to do is to surround yourself with people who will have a positive impact on your life. Find a friend or a trusted family member that you can talk to. Communication and positive interaction is a big part of any relationship.
Brian Reed Profile
Brian Reed answered
Its just part of maturing . It will go away and you will find someone special to make that feeling go away. Just keep being you and keeping it real and soon you will meet someone special. Do not worry to much I felt like you did for a while too. I found that I really did not need anyone to make me happy just had to accept myself for who I was and thats worked ever since. Good luck honey.
carrie Profile
carrie answered
This is just one of those things that a lot of people go through when they are young. It's a difficult time because you are still growing up and it's difficult to "fit in". Or to be comfortable with who you are. And it can be especially difficult when you are a smart, intuitive person. I had loads of friends when I was in school (well, I'm in school again but it's different when you are older. Well kind of different) but I still felt somewhat isolated. You'd be surprised how many others feel the same way you do.
Just remember that you are a wonderful smart person. Things will get better. It just takes a while. And if it gets worse...or if you feel more than just lonely, talk to someone. You may be depressed and there are ways to cope with this. But if that's the case, you cannot handle it alone.
Hang in there. And remember that there are people here who do care about you.
thanked the writer.
christina burt
christina burt commented
But i don't have anyone that i can talk to, it took me weeks to pluck up the courrage to put this question on here
carrie commented
I am so sorry. I had a hard time when I was in my teens too. I know how hard it is to talk to adults. I was fortunate that I had an understanding teacher when I was in high school. I was able to talk to her and she gave me a lot of good advice. Most of which really does boil down to just hanging in there. It will get better even though it doesn't feel like it will. Are there counselors at your school? Or maybe thru a youth group or a local church.. I really wish I could help you more.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Remember we are all loved by God. There are moments in all our lives that we feel this way. Sometimes we don't know how to interprete nor cheerish the good things that surround us. Believe in yourself, love yourself, and see the good qualities that you possess. If others around you are telling you they love you and demonstrate it with their words and actions, then you should see it too in yourself. You are not alone in feeling lonely, it's a common feeling. Yet, try to change your thoughts into positive memories and don't allow those bad thoughts and doubts to conquer you. You have a whole life ahead of you of marvelous experiences. Go out there and don't be afraid to love and be loved. God bless you
Micheal Smith Profile
Micheal Smith answered
I agree that it is a part of maturing. However this sort of feeling can crop up at any age.

Rather than being loved or not, I think part of this is not getting what you need from the relationships you are in with friends and family. The dichotomy here, is that at your age, you are still defining what you need.

Loneliness can be a side effect of depression also.  You may need to get out and do things to get active as a way to feel like you are a part of things. Even exercise can get your endorphins going

Grandma Pugh Profile
Grandma Pugh answered
First of all you have to believe in yourself. I am not saying it is easy but think about who you are, your ideas and look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are who you are then you will see why everyone loves you. Good luck, hang in there and be true to yourself.
J. Martinez Profile
J. Martinez answered
Young people will sometimes go through periods of loneliness when they are discovering who they really are. I can remember feeling the exact same way that you did when I was your age. The best thing to do is to surround yourself with people who will have a positive impact on your life. Find a friend or a trusted family member that you can talk to. Communication and positive interaction is a big part of any relationship.
thanked the writer.
Rena Chisholm
Rena Chisholm commented
I see you forgot to log in. I have done that a time or two also. Oh well, I rated both your answers anyway.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
It's just a part of growing up.be patient and you will get through it.I think everyone goes through these type of feelings at some point.You'll be ok.Hang in there,Glenn
thanked the writer.
carolyn commented
So what exactly are you searching for in life? Subconsciously what is actually going on with you on the inside. What fears are you withholding (within) that is causing you not to be able to connect with the people you claim, love you so much?
martha Profile
martha answered
I know just how you feel. I have this ever since my husband died 2 yrs ago. I can be in my church with 4000 other people and yet fell completely alone. I have no answers, but just to tell you you are not alone in this. All I can suggest is to pray for God's presence be felt.
nettie Profile
nettie answered
Trust me love,this is a part of growing up but this too shall pass and if you need to reach out to others for some comfort and conversation count me in...hope your way gets straighter and your lonesome feelings gets filled with enjoyment and interest to lighten your feelings....hugs do shout
Cynthia Profile
Cynthia answered
Yes, loneliness is something that most people go through at one point or another, but your comment above that you don't have anyone to talk to is telling. One reason many people feel isolated from others is because they have trouble opening up to anyone. It may be a trust issue, or it may be a passing phase, but when one is closed to those around them, then it's hard for love to find its way in so that you can feel it. Relationships fluctuate and change over the course of life, so when you've reestablished close communication with someone in your life, the loneliness will probably vanish.
carol washington Profile
I fine that has always been a problem for me. I can be with my love ones having a good time and out of the blue "it" hits me. The lonely cloud descends over me. Then I want to getaway from everybody. This has been helped by my getting peace from my faith.
andrea g Profile
andrea g answered
You need to remember that YOU are a special and uniqe person there is only one of you and there will be no other. A lot of people feel this way some times. You should find things that you are interested in to keep your mind occupied. Other people can't help you you are the only one who can stop it. You are a wonderful person and have a lot to offer. Go out and play some sports tennis or what ever you like. Make time for your slef . Well I wish you all the best. Sorry it took so long for me to awnser. I am glad that you shared your question with me.l  will always be here for you when you need me.  Hugs
your friend
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Find people who don't kiss up to you. Even if you have to fight them at first, you are likely to develop real friendships rather than feel lonely around your current sycophants.
carolyn Profile
carolyn answered
It is because subconsciously you have other things that are bothering you, and other issues that you are worried about. Until you are able to resolve those issues and connect with yourself, you will continue to feel this way.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I am 54 years old and I still feel lonely at Church at home etc. I am married but I have to force myself to be around people. The Church people around me seem to be very independent and really don't won't go get to know me. I have a few friends that have reached out to me but they are much older than me, much older! My wife and I have no children and have been married for 27 years. I hope to find happyness someday. Maybe it is because I don't believe in hell and the torture chamber theology that most people believe. I can't seem to relate or find anyone that is open minded about the teaching and history of biblical truth. All I can do is pray that God will help me find my way through this mangled mess of self-righ-tous and traditional ways of thinking. I am pouring my heart out here, I am so sick of organized religion and world politics. I need to find peace for my soul. Should I stop everything I am doing and go another direction? I just want to be happy.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I understand how you feel. Even right now I am feeling lonely, maybe its part and parcel of life.... You do get into this phase in life somehow or rather.... have you tried talking it out with someone you close with? whatever it is, remember if you are feeling lonely, there are perhaps million others who feel the same way like you do. *hugs*
Krystal DeLaRosa Profile
I feel the same way most of the time. I believe it stems from insecurities and not feeling worthy of anyone's love & affection. I know when I'm feeling good about myself, the lonely feelings goes away. Just try to keep a positive attitude about life and about yourself.
thanked the writer.
christina burt
christina burt commented
carolyn commented
It is mainly due to unresolved issues that you have never sorted out, tried to resolve from within. Loneliness is not an illness, it is a self taught trait of continuous withdrawals from certain situations that have been caused, or, are being caused by unresolved issues and or problems.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I felt the same way for 6 months,don't worry it will pass.
...I guess it's normal for us teenagers =D
I couldn't take it anymore (half a year it's pretty long)... I started taking vitamins and I felt so much better =DD
Onetwo Bucklemyshoe Profile
I agree with what everyone has said so far. (I know that sounds like I'm being lazy, but I don't think there's any point in repeating what's already been said.) You're an awesome friend, always remember that. There are people here who care about you. Best of luck! Deeni
Noe Flores Profile
Noe Flores answered
Don't worry every body go thruw the same thing like evey body else said it part of growing up ive been thruw it don't worry k
Farheen Fatima Profile
Farheen Fatima answered
It happens just because you think so.... Why don't you try to be more frank with those people.... I am sure that only then you would be able to join their company and would certainly not feel lonely
Joan Profile
Joan answered
You ask how you can stop feeling this way. First it should be helpful to know that you are experiencing a normal part of growing up. You can see clearly from the other posts that your feelings of being alone in a crowed room are not reserved for you alone. You are not strange or odd for having these feelings. Next, please take just a few quiet minutes and do some soul searching. You can see in the mirror that you are different from anyone else in the entire world. You have things to offer the world, and those that know you, that nobody else has. Your ideas, your personality, your talents, your helpfulness, your friendship, your kindness, your abilities, your love etc. Can not be matched or copied by anyone. You are an exquisite human and God designed you to be different from all the other humans who now or ever have lived. You need to concentrate on the fact that you are a special person and allow others to seek out your uniqueness and your friendship. Don't try so hard, Gymfreak. Be yourself, be the kind of person you would want for a friend. Trust me on this, when you quit worry so much about your place in the scheme of the world, it will be easier to find it. You will "fit in" when you simply allow it to happen. Begin each day with the thought that it will be a good day. Be positive in your attitude. A good attitude is catching. It is hard to be negative and unhappy when you are expecting the best out of the day or out of people in general. It would seem to me from some of your other posts that you are a caring person. A caring person is often a person with feelings that run deep. Not a bad thing at all. It is this type person that makes an excellent long-term friend. Hang in the sweetie, you will have the best of friendships. Just wait...they will find you.

I am sorry it took me so long to answer your question. I have been out of town on vacation and just returned. I promise to be more prompt in the future.
Meka Ester Profile
Meka Ester answered
This could be a sign of depression, I suggest you speak with someone and get some help. This could become a problem. My son is the same way and they put him on medication because he was diagnosed with major depression and adhd.
Jared Profile
Jared answered
Bec Honestly you have a emptiness only God can feel, trust me pray and be saved!!! Try it what can you lose?!?!?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I'm in my 40's and I still feel that way, is there something that could be wrong with me?? Just wondering.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You have to trust people- open up to them. And if you think you can't because of the chance of getting scarred you need to develop your self esteem.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I feel this way right now and its scaring me, at least I know it happens to a lot of people not just me. Does anyone know if it could be puberty sometimes?

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