How To Handle Disobedient Teens?

There is no manual that effectively illustrates How to Handle Disobedient Teens. It forms a very large chapter in ‘The Book of Life’ but that isn’t available in print either!

As difficult as it is to believe when it is happening, each teenager is different - but they also have a lot in common. There is a point in a child’s life when he or she seems to turn, almost overnight, from a sweet, obedient, innocent angels in to a bad-tempered, rude, disobedient monster!

Our children seem to become separated from us. They ignore us, and seem to retreat into their own world but the important thing to remember is that it's nothing you have done.

This stage in your child's life is an entirely natural though difficult stage, but the question remains - how to  handle a disobedient teen?

You need to understand that teenagers are probably going to act, talk and behave in a confrontary and challenging manner. This is part of the process of growing up and for some it will be worse than others.

Choose your battles wisely! You will have a greater impact when you need to be heard and taken seriously and this will also help you avoid being seen as someone who is always nagging!

This does not mean you have to tolerate rudeness oe unpleasant ness but know when to try and assert some control.

The behaviour that you interpret as defiance could be evidence of some other problem in their lives that they don’t know how to handle or are too embarrassed to talk about. If you can establish a good dialogue, then you are on the right track, so it is important to try and be aware of what is going on in your teen’s day to day life - without intrusion.

Quite often, teenagers be defiant simply because they know they can get away with it. If your actions do not match up to your words, you are sending confusing messages, so try to set some firm rules and keep to them!

No matter what, you should remember that your consistent attempts at good parenting, and at maintaining a strong, caring relationship, are among the most important things your troubled teen needs.

Teens are out of control. Why should you continue to live in agony behind a child that will eventually will cost you more money enbarrassment then its worth. Mine is going to either a military bootcamp where they wont be so nice to him or this low cost boarding school. I'm over it Deal with it if you want but mine wont be sending me to a early grave. I have other children who are doing well

Most kids go through a rebellious phase particularly after puberty and during adolescence. Their rebellious behaviour can really drive parents up the wall. So what can parents do to control these disobedient teens? The best thing to do for parents is to have loads and loads of patience. At the same time remember that tough love may also be necessary.

Teens idolise rebels and feel that disobedience is a way of asserting their maturity. This is why talking and guiding your teen is the best way to go. If they won't listen to you then get someone they trust to do that for you like for instance an uncle or a family friend. Parents should also explain the intention behind the rules they enforce at home, making it clear that rules are not to suppress them but to protect and discipline them.

Always remember to be supportive but also to strike a balance and clearly demarcate how far is too far.

This is one of the most difficult things a parent has to try and do.
Understandably teenagers are growing from childhood to adult and are asserting their own authority.
However boundaries have to be drawn with regard to behaviour, school work , going out and who with for younger teens.
The hhome is also the place that the whole family has to share and ground rules have to exist to make life tolerable for everyone.
It very much depends on the level of toleration of individual parents and what they define as defiant behaviour. What might be acceptable in one home might be considered completely unacceptable in another. This can lead to problems when teenagers compare their lives to that of their peers.
Parents should try to diplomatic and explain why these rules need to be in place and teenagers encouraged to have respect for the feelings and needs of other family members; though this is great in theory and often unworkable in practice!
If the child or children in question step over the boundaries too often then unfortunately someone's grounding and the withdrawal of privileges is something that parents have to do.

This is the kind of thing that requires not only considerable attention of parents but also of those who interact with any of the disobedient teens. Parents have to face this reality that there's not much you can do as a Parent until
your child is properly motivated. No Parenting technique, approach,
talk, or change on your part will work until your child is motivated to
listen to and follow your directions. Most children don't lack the
ability to obey their parents or follow rules, they simply lack the
motivation to do so. So if you find out that there are possible reasons behind their acts or behaviors that motivate them to disobey you, then you have to intervene into the matter effectively and should adopt a home based intervention program that can help you in changing their behaviors etc. Like the Home Intervention System that was developed by
administrators of schools and programs for struggling youth and has
been adapted for home use. The Home Intervention System shows you how
to motivate your teen to make changes just like they do in these
schools and programs. The System utilizes a simple but powerful
Attitude and Behavior Modification Program.

How should I handle a 16 year old, who is failing school, was denied going to a concert on a week night and went anyway...