Anonymous

My partner masturbates when I'm not around like.. all the time and it makes me feel insecure like I'm not good enough for him. :/ Does anyone elses partner do it and how does it make you feel?

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10 Answers

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

This is a brave question to ask as most people are not willing to talk about sensitive situations like this in their relationship. I want to encourage you that his actions are in no way a reflection of you. You are a beautiful vibrant individual. The only thing I can tell you to do is talk to him about how you feel. Chances are he doesn't even know he is making you feel hurt. Communication will open up the flood gates and solidify the two of you together more then you know. Good luck. :0)

Walt O'Reagun Profile
Walt O'Reagun answered

Are you getting enough to be satisfied?

If not ... You should talk to your partner about it.

If so ... Obviously, your partner isn't.  You should have a conversation with your partner about it.

People have different levels of need.  If you believe yours is too low, you may want to talk to your doctor about it.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

What I should mention is.. When me and Him got together it's all he would do, he was so bad like probably 4 times or more a day and I've told him how it makes me feel and he did stop but now he's back at it again and we do have it. That's the thing, we can go from having sex to him going for a quick 5 later that night. It just makes me feel so s*itty like I wasn't enough to satisfy him and that he has to go watch these fake girls lmfao. Thank you all though x

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Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
And like with any addiction problem YOU can not help him, change him, or fix him. HE has to want to change.
Walt O'Reagun
Walt O'Reagun commented
Yep ... there is an actual "porn addiction", according to psychiatrists. And no real woman would be able to satisfy him - since you aren't airbrushed to perfection.
Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
Yep. It is very true. And very sad. :0(
Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

As long as your sexual intercourse is more than mutual mast*rbation, it's not a problem.  (The "bad language filter tends to be stuck in the Victorian age---but at least then, a woman's bare breasts were not such a problem.)

We are sexual beings whether we are in an intimate relationship with another or whether we remain "unconnected" to a significant other in that way.

While feeling insecure is not unusual, it most likely has nothing to do with you.

(But his "rate" does seem to be in the higher percentiles.)
DDX Project Profile
DDX Project answered

I don't see the problem here. Some people have higher sex drives than others. Maybe watch it with him. Join a BDSM community and learn some things. Take him on a trip to a porn convention. Heck, join a swingers club if you're up for it. Goal here is to explore new things. Vanilla is boring.

Telling someone they can't masterb8 in a relationship has to be up there as one of the worse things,

Zack -  Mr. GenXer Profile

This is just friggen silly.

Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright , Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Psychology, answered

About 30 years ago Playboy Magazine did a survey and found that Married men actually masterbated more than single guys and listed several reasons , sorry for which I forget now, but do remember number one reason was not enough sex at home but didn't want to actually cheat on their spouse so took the situation into their own hands.  Now Masterbation is as natural as anything else but one could go blind or grow hair on their hands but does happen so probably best just to ignore the situation as it could cause more problems if confronted and don't change yourself for any guy. No where does it ever say a couple is responsible for each others sexual climax pleasure so don't sweat the small stuff here.  Good luck

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Tom  Jackson
Tom Jackson commented
Did any man respond, "It's less trouble?"
Arthur Wright
Arthur Wright commented
Only males responded I believe and Im proof that some of us actually do read the articles
Tom  Jackson
Tom Jackson commented
Yes, Playboy used to provide various opportunities for satisfaction.

Two interviews that were rather interesting were Johnny Carson and Bill Clinton.

Excellent cartoonists (Shel Silverstein) and various well know contributors of articles.

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