Anonymous

My mom always hurts me and then turns it around to make it seem like I'm hurting her. She lies to me, forces me to act like her idea of how I should be, and threatens me. It's like my feelings don't even matter matter. Is it bad to hate her for this?

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7 Answers

Charles Davis Profile
Charles Davis answered

I know I'd sure hate my mom if she named me Anonymous.

Madison Genovese Profile

my mom is the same, don't listen to these old people they grew up in an age where kids had no rights and child abuse was legal. Know that you won't have to deal with your mom forever, and probably not for much longer, just think about how good your future will be once that happens; thats what i do...i can't wait to be 18.

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

Ahhh! The teenage years! Always remember it is okay to FEEL any way you feel. It is when you act on those feelings that it becomes a problem. Start a journal. Write down how she makes you feel. Get it all out on paper. Then destroy it. Or stuff it away in an old tampon box in the back of the garage and then look over it again some day to see how far you have come! You will get through this difficult time in your life. I promise. Soon enough you will be soaring on your own wings.

Four Palmz Profile
Four Palmz answered

Hate the actions of people. Not the people. 

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Four Palmz
Four Palmz commented
Hi Blue. All through life we will encounter situations when people that don't act right. We will never know what they're going through or have been through.

We expect the best from our parents, but they too have issues they're dealing with.

I'm not trying to make light of your situation, but it's a lifelong battle we all have to deal with.

Everyone is guilty of offending people because we're having a bad day. It doesn't mean we're bad people, just a bad moment.

Love your mother or people for who they are. Their actions aren't always a direct reflection of them.

If you can, talk to your father. A friend's parent or someone how's opinion you respect. Or consider having a talk with your mother. Maybe she needs help beyond her own knowledge. Or just standing up for yourself will get her attention.

Its not going to be an easy road but sometimes the child(ren) need to raise the parent(s).

I don't know if this explains my answer well enough but I have good intentions.
Tom  Jackson
Tom Jackson commented
@Blue Lou

Ideals never seem to come with instructions, do they?

Principles seem to be generated by people sitting in comfortable chairs, reading leather-bound books, and drinking expensive brandy in front of a roaring fire as the snow drifts gently down outside the window.

Da Vinci had some insight into flight, but it took the Wright brothers to figure out how to actually do it.

Is it bad to have such strong feelings about what your mother is doing to you that you describe them as "hate." No, it's not.

Understanding, forgiveness, sympathy, empathy---you can never get to those stages until you manage to survive what your parent is inflicting on you.

Rabbi Hillel (rabbi and Talmudic scholar) said "If I am not for myself, then who will be for me" and also, "If not now, when?"

If your parent wants to kill you, are you supposed to allow her to do so because she is having a bad day?
Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Absolutely not!!!

She is manipulating and abusing you.  She has no right to do that.  You are worth far more than to be so treated.

What she is doing is WRONG.

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