Anonymous

How do I get the man I love off his RPG to spend time with me and the kids?

2 Answers

Jonathan Dyson Profile
Jonathan Dyson answered

you
could talk about it and have your night ending up in a row, or you
could do the smart thing and join up yourself, depending on how old your
kids are it makes sense. Have family time by playing online games
together, get the person who is already playing to teach you all how to
play.


Now
you're probably thinking "I don't want to play the game". Well when hes
trying to explain the game pretend you don't get it and keep asking
basic questions. Eventually he will get annoyed, throw the computer down
in frustration and suggest you all go out for a meal. Problem solved
:P.


(warning: You may become addicted to the game in which case you just won’t notice there ever was a problem)

Lily Bradic Profile
Lily Bradic answered

You need to talk to him about this. RPGs (role-playing games) are notoriously addictive, especially the online ones. It could be that your man doesn't realise his behaviour is unacceptable and is upsetting you, or he could be using the game as a form of escapism. You need to determine which it is.

Find Out Why He Plays So Much

There's nothing wrong with having some down-time every now and again, but it sounds to me like your man is doing so at the expense of his family life.

Catch him when he's not playing the game and tell him that you want to talk.  You need to get the following points across:

  • That his behaviour is upsetting you.
  • That you don't think it's fair for him to spend so much time gaming and ignoring his family.
  • That you're not asking him to stop entirely; you just want him to make time for you and the children. It's important that he knows you're willing to reach a compromise, else he'll feel threatened and may refuse or get confrontational.

It might be worth agreeing on a limit to the amount of time he can play for—or telling him he can play as much as he wants, providing he's spent time with you and the kids, done his share of the household chores and makes an effort to be around more.

Talk It Through

If he doesn't take well to your suggestions, and you've approached the matter calmly and rationally, then you probably need to ask him why he spends so much time gaming. Is he unhappy with your relationship, or does he have a bit of an RPG addiction?

He's not a teenage boy anymore, and he's not without responsibilities—if he can't see that, then perhaps you've got a bigger problem on your hands than his excessive gaming.

Good luck!

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