This is a bad seen,I don't know your age,If you are in school talk to the school counselor if you are a adult see a therapist as I have a friend that went through this with her family she is a adult,I finally convinced her to see a therapist,is is a bit late the other kids treat her like a outsider,her mother has passed and the other kids blamed her for her death so you see it never stops,they did not allow her to sit with the other children at the funeral she had to sit with friends,get help and try to get as far away from those people as possible. I wish you good luck and will pray for you. Hope you keep in touch..
Mums are human and can make mistakes too. She may be finding it hard to cope with the loss of your dad and this can affect people differently. Try being empathetic and reverse the roles. She may seem to favour the oldest because being the oldest they are expected to help more with the rest of the family etc. As for the youngest, she may have a soft spot for the baby of the family as each time she looks at them it reminds her of your dad . It was the last moment they shared in the maternity ward and these types of memories tend to linger. Its usually the ones in between who seem to feel taken for granted and can get lost emotionally. I bet if you were to take a deep breath and do something really nice and unexpected for her that she would be gobsmacked. I know you miss your dad to and you have issues of your own, but your mum can see a life without a partner ahead of her and all her children growing up and leaving her alone. You on the other hand will have your whole life ahead of you . I am not saying for one second that you are selfish, but i am saying that it would be nice if you could think more of her feelings and fears and be selfless by trying to understand and help her. It's not easy I know, but I bet if you were to become more helpful around the house without being asked and surprising her every now and then with a gift to show how much you appreciate her, that your relationship with her would improve for the better. Imagine the look in her face if you turned around and said, oh by the way mum I am taking you for a meal next friday night or do you fancy a trip to the pictures, or mum, is there anything you would like me to do to help you around the house. You see mums can feel lost and worthless and despised to. But for a mum to truly hate her daughter she would need to be very mentally ill, in which case it isn't her fault, or that you are a very bad daughter and I doubt that very much. I am 52 and my mum is 5 years dead and I miss her terribly. So make the best of her while you have her for she wont be around forever, and there is no point having regrets once she is gone. If all fails then I can only suggest asking a family member or a friend from outside the immediate family for advice in arranging a counselor. But I think you will find things a bit better with time if you follow my suggestions. And don't get angry if it doesnt work right away, just take a deep breath and try again. :)
I am sorry that you lost your father! Seems like he had love for all of you all the time. I have seen it in families throughout my life, and it indeed happened in my family or so we thought at times. But when it came down to it, we were all loved greatly by our mother. Our father was the one we had to contend with. There isn't really much that you can do on your own to make your mother see what she is doing, but you can try to talk her into family counseling. There are agencies out there that can help if you look for them. It doesn't really matter how old you are, it's just that the family needs repaired, and if you can't do it that way, you should at least seek counseling for yourself to learn how to cope with this pain. Hope this helps, and please let my know how things work out for you.
My grandma did the same to my mom when my grandfather started drinking....she was the 4 out of 9. To this day she treats her differently and even my bros and sisters differently than my cousins. I was told by my uncle she doesn't know why she does and is always thinking about it. I would go to an adult you can trust and someone who knows your mother...seek there advice. If you don't want to do that the only thing you can do is talk to your mother and tell her that it is a very important subject that affects you and your sibilings...good luck
I'm 10 and im being BEATEN by my mom! She accuses me of EVERYTHING bad that happens! Like today, she blamed me for telling my 3 year old sister her Xmas Present. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! I know how it feels, seeing that twerp with anything she wants while I have to put up with working for Mom 24/7!!! SO UNFAIR!>:( So i stay by my dad's doesn't as long as possible. He treats us fairly. Plus it's like, my mom punished me for 1 F and everything else A's!! Then, I doesn't up the F to a B+,and I got a WORSE punishment! Most of all, I think she lies to me. She doesn't listen to important things I tell her, and then she says "okay", but i know she doesn't listen to me because we always end up in a situation we wouldn't be in if she listened to me. So at least wish me a Merry Christmas 'cause I might not get anything!
Don't feel bad, you haven't done anything wrong. I can tell you from my own experience, not all mothers love their kids. The important thing to remember is that you don't need her approval. The only way you can win, is to have a good, happy life. Focus on the people who really matter to you and concentrate on your relationships with them. You cannot change how she treats you but you can change the way you view your relationship with her.
Maybe many mothers love one of her children's when they are young,but as a children you should certify yourself make stronger as you can work harder or study harder,take your successful to her face.
