I Don't Want Children At My Wedding But I Don't Want To Offend Anyone. How Can I Let People Know Without Hurting Their Feelings?

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8 Answers

lakeesha Hennessy Williams Profile
If you don't want children at your wedding, you shouldn't have to feel bad about telling people exactly that! It's your special day, and you can celebrate it however you please.

No children at my wedding When I got married to my first husband, he was the one to suggest we ask people not to bring their children along to the main ceremony.

This meant that a couple of people couldn't make our wedding ceremony, although we allowed children to attend the reception later in the evening (which meant that they were able to take part to some degree).

In truth, no one can give you accurate advice about how to deal with the situation because it's your wedding and your group of friends, so only you will fully know how to get around the situation.

Banning children from your wedding One suggestion you might want to look at is having a separate room or area where the children can hang out and make as much noise as they want. They'll be kept busy and won't disturb your ceremony.

Another option would be to pick a venue that wouldn't be suitable for kids. Hold you reception at an 21+ bar for example. This can be a good excuse you can use when asking people not to bring their children... You can simply say 'it's not me, it's the venue...'
Gillian Smith Profile
Gillian Smith answered
You are going to hurt someone by this but there hasn't been a wedding yet where someone hasn't beeen hurt and offended, that's part of the whole thing about weddings.
At the end of the day it's your wedding, your day and it's what you want and what makes you and your partner happpy.
You can try explaining that you haven't got the money to accommodate all the guests and children too. You can be tactfully truthful and explain that you want a quiet day and children get tired and start playing up as the day goes on. You may not have anywhere where they can go and sleep etc.
If people are not happy with that they will turn your invite down. It depends on how many friends you have with children. I think you'll find a lot of other guests will be relieved if children are omitted but you'll have to accept that you will offend a few people who may not contact you again after the wedding. It happens all the time!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Unfortunately the reality is that you are more than likely going to hurt somebody's feelings by banning children from the wedding. However, this is your day and most people should understand the reason you don't want any children there. After all, who wants a baby screaming, or a toddler playing up while you are just about to say 'I do?'

You really aren't alone in your feelings on this issue and while it is perfectly understandable, sometimes if you ban children from the wedding, it sometimes becomes impossible for the parents of those children to come too. They might not be able to get a babysitter for example, so then you will be left with fewer guests than you originally planned. On the whole you should have the final say as to who you want at the wedding as the day is all about you. Put your foot down and also state your reasons for not wanting children there. Most parents should understand and you could still let them come to the reception.
M. J. Profile
M. J. answered
A compromise solution would be to hire babysitters and ask the church if you could use their Youth Room during the service and reception. The same could work if you have your reception at a hotel or other place with multiple rooms. Then people could leave all children under a certain age in the Youth Room while the adults are elsewhere.
thanked the writer.
Janet Simmons
Janet Simmons commented
Of all the answers, I agree with this one the most. It is ALWAYS better to compromise than to alienate someone just because they have children. Most churches have nursery's and youth facilities to accommodate such a request and I am sure you can find someone willing to attend them.
islandersfan Guy Profile
Just tell them I am sure they will understand... After all it is your wedding, not theirs.
cooper shannon Profile
cooper shannon answered
I suggest taking an opposite approach. Apologize to parents, that the ceremony will be so long that the children will be extremely bored. I totally agree you should pay someone to sit with the children, that show up. I am a parent and sometimes it's down right impossible to find a sitter, no matter what you try. It's always, always a good idea to have a back-up plan. If you open with an apology, you appear sympathetic instead of rude. Also any other excuse you can think of, though I wouldn't use more than 2 or 3 at a time. Never ever make it seem like you don't want the kids there, you can end up isolating, or angering some close friends and family (not good) it may also affect your wedding gifts. Me and my husband just got married 5 days ago, we didn't invite anyone, we had to get a young guy fishing to be a witness, our second witness was our photographer. I have small children, he has grown children. It was awesome, absolutely no drama.
Suesbooks Profile
Suesbooks answered
This is your wedding and people will understand. If you want to make a compromise and make a note on the invitation that the reception is right after the wedding and only for adults, guests may be all right with that. Then they will not likely bring them to the wedding ceremony, but have them arrive later.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If you have resources then you can make separate enclosure for children where they will play with video games and enjoy themselves without irritating you.

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