I'm 14 Years Old And I'm Having A Baby Girl But I Don't Think I'm Ready,any Idea?

10 Answers

Jacquelyn Mathis Profile
Do his parents know about this? Since you don't have parents to take the child, then what about his parents? Are they even qualified enough to take care of the baby? If you aren't really ready for this, you need to think about all the options that are available to you. You can see if your older sister will help you, or the other grandparents, or even the hardest decision of all, putting her up for adoption. I am really sorry that your "man" is doing this to you. He probably wouldn't even pay child support. I think you need to talk to your sister, his parents, if you want to involve them, and keep the welfare of the baby in the front of your mind while you are making this incredibly tough decision. My hopes and prayers are with you, good luck in the future. Hope this helps you out.
Michelle (Elle is my nickname) Profile
Laylay, if you feel that you are not in any position to raise a baby financially, emotionally, or otherwise, consider adoption, but be extremely picky in choosing a family and check them out thoroughly. Through adoption, you may choose to be in your daughter's life, or if that's too difficult to handle, you may also request anonymity. The choice is ultimately yours to make. I know that this is a very difficult decision, especially for a girl your age, as your decision-making skills are not fully developed. I urge you to speak with someone about your concerns, whether it be a doctor, a family member, or another trusted adult. Above all else, pray to God for wisdom and peace, as He will grant it. Trust that He will help you to make the right decision.
thanked the writer.
Michelle (Elle is my nickname)
I am glad to hear he has accepted the fact that his baby is on the way! I'm sure he'll make a great daddy. Aluna...does that mean moon?
Breanna Santiago
Breanna Santiago commented
I am 18 years old with an 2 year old daughter, I was pregnant at 15 years old and had Hailey at 16. Her father is 19. Me and her father we together for 2 years before I got pregnant and we stayed together. We just got married in January 08 and now we are getting a divorce!! Raising a baby is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. This baby is going to rely on you for EVERYTHING. And 90% of the time, the father isnt around. And in the end the only one that gets hurt is the child. Believe me, her father is trying to come in and out of her life as he pleases and it is affecting her so badly. She is becoming physically ill due to the stress of everything, and she has to go to counseling. I am a good mother my daughter means the world to me. But even though he claims he is going to be there he may not be, so keep in mind if you don't think you can manage as a single mother maybe adoption is the best option for you and for that baby. You are still a baby yourself!! But age doesn't mean that you wont be a good mom! People used to tell me how there is no way that I could be a good mom cause of my age but you know what I am, and I have my own place, car, i go to college everything. You can do it to you just have to be ready to raise a baby, emotionally, physically, and financially!! Good luck to you!!
ToniaMarie Profile
ToniaMarie answered
In hate to say anything like for your sake and the babys cause I am sure you would be a wonderful mom - But you are in for a lifetime of heartache struggling and more heartache and struggling. I would go online and research open adoption- this lets you always have some contact with your baby girl but really good stable people would raise her- I am sure as I said before you would love and care for your child but it would be soooo hard. You would get financial support during your pregnancy from the couple you choose and some even fund you to finish school and get in a good college to better your future when your ready and find your true love and stability- No matter what take care and God Bless. Sorry for the loss of your parents at such a young age-My heart goes out to you.
Steven Vakula Profile
Steven Vakula answered
If you do not feel ready to be a parent, then it is apparent that you are not ready! Being a parent is a big job and it is not full time it is all the time! 24/7 for the rest of your life. There are many different options available now a day including adoption. Sometimes being a kid is tough especially at 14 but being an adult is even a tougher deal. There are many free counseling options available in most states that deal with you situation and can better explain what is available to you. Raising yourself and a child at the same time at 14 without and education and job is asking for a very tough road to travel. Being responsible shows signs of maturity and being to ask for help and finding the right help is the step you need to follow. If the father is being wishy-washy now wait until the real deal starts and see who is at the starting gate with you!
thanked the writer.
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Steven Vakula
Steven Vakula commented
This person is 14. Read her question, she is very young and very much alone and appears to be on her own without guidance. This is not the same as a 21 year old by any means. She is still a child, she needs to get a education and some life under her belt or the mistakes most likely will repeat themselves. I am not trying to be harsh just realistic and a 14 year old child, on her own, no education or family, just deadbeat men taking advantage of her that is why she is pregnant. Her family is dead. She needs an education and some guidance what and how will she fend for herself with a baby when she is herself?
Michelle (Elle is my nickname)
Well, you'll be glad to know, CountVak, that this young lady is living with family and has the support of her baby's father as well as his family. I realize that she is 14 years old, but you underestimate teenagers. They are fully capable of stepping up to the plate when need be...take a look throughout the world. There are 12 year olds taking care of their younger siblings as their parents have died and they've no family to help. Yes, even children can grow up very quickly and take over adult roles when a situation calls for it. As far as these deadbeat men, she is just as guilty in this situation as he is considering she consented and was a willing participant in the act that created her child. You can only carry that "taking advantage" piece so far. Of course she needs the things you mentioned, but just because she is young does not mean she cannot be a wonderful mother to her daughter. Even children learn as they go. You cannot expect someone who has never been a parent before to be ready for it, as it's something you can never really be ready for anyway.
Steven Vakula
Steven Vakula commented
Whatever! Read the question as opposed to passing your judgments as I never asked the question nor did I ask for your comments! She states she does not feel she is ready and she also states that she is alone, living with a sister that lets her have sex at 14 and unprotected sex? Ever hear of STD's? Where is you self-righteous moral majority there? Children having children is a cycle that every where I look, read and see is what organization such as the US Government, Planned Parent Hood, etc. is trying to break! If you believe in children having sex without knowledge of the outcome of sex then you should really study what the situation is all about as opposed to what you think and obviously are not aware of the facts! Children having children leads to poverty at the best in most situation, lets not even deal with the other more prevalent and serious issues which you know-it-all so I don't have to explain not am I asking for you opinion nor do I care. I was giving my opinion to the questioner not asking for your unsolicited advice and critique.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I see by your other post that you had your child. But I wanted to comment this still. I'm 19ys old, just turned recently. An I have a 2 1/2yr old son. My son's father an I ended up getting married, we decided to give it a fighting chance for our son's sake. An unlike the previous girl. We are still together almost 3yrs later. He joined the army way back when I was 6m preg. An we have been a military family since. So yea I know the feeling of not being read, an that did not make me a unfit parent, nor did it mean I wasnt ready! I grew up quick I changed my ways an I'm proud of the person ive become. I know its hard being a parent, I raised my son alone most of his life, an my husband is about to deploy again this fall. So when someone trys to say you were to young, or you think its just to hard... Life is hard. You can do this, you ARE doing this. This is you now, its who you will be til you die. Your a mother. An congrats to being one. Happy early mothers day as well
allie Profile
allie answered
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I will be totally honest and open with you. If you feel you are mature enough to go out and have sex with someone even if you are in a relationship with that person then you must appreciate the fact that you should take responsibility for anything that might happen ie: Pregnancy or disease. I understand you are young and legally you are still a child but you must now take control of the situation you have got yourself in. I think you should visit your doctor and have a chat about your worries and feelings as he will be able to give you advice and maybe get you some help with your problems.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You have three options. 

1. Adoption.

2. Abortion.

3. Keep the baby.

I personally would go with adoption but it is your decision to make and you should talk to your sister about this.  I am sorry about your parents.  You are 14 so the pregnancy could be harmful to you and in that case (if it is life threting) abortion would be the best option (if the baby cannot live outside the womb).  If you keep the baby you will have to take care of the baby and it will be hard.  And you should go get a DNA test to see who the father is, if it your ex-boyfriend then (if he does not want to pay child support) sue him for it!!!  But be fair, if he is paying child support (and not abusing the baby) then let him she the baby.  No one can force you to give up your baby or force you to get an abortion.  You can go to this site to find out more about the laws in your state: en.wikipedia.org
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You should keep the baby.  My mum gave me up for adoption because she was too young and in those days there wasn't anything like an abortion (that was legal)  I grew up feeling unloved and unwanted.  You'll find if you look after the baby yourself you will always get through.
alexis pajarillaga Profile
Just believe in yourself and you are ready, but at least tell the dad how you feel and tel him to do something for the baby.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Just ask your parents about how they did it.
That should help you.

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