Hi I'm a 12 year old boy and my bf is 14. We're bi. And we want to have sex but I'm scared and don't know what to do. What should I do?


7 Answers

John McCann Profile
John McCann answered


Then don't have sex because you are not ready.

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Yo Kass
Yo Kass commented
Hi Dre,

I'm going to have to suspend your account because you're under 13 (pls check out the terms of use at the bottom of the page) - but I'll leave the question up, as the answer might be a useful reference to people in your situation.

John is 100% right, you are not ready.

Not only are you a minor, thus not legally allowed to have sex - but also your body is going through some big changes right now, and hormones can make you feel very confused and prone to making wrong decisions.

That's why it's recommended that people get through puberty before they start engaging in sexual relationships.

Whether you like guys or girls makes no difference, your body and mind hasn't matured to the point where you are ready to handle the complexities of a physical relationship (and TRUST ME, relationships get complicated!)

My advice would be no matter how cool sex and other adult things may seem, you have a LONG time to enjoy all that, but very little time to enjoy being 12!
Christian Mia Lydic
omgosh do not do that their liitle brother got on it duh im his best friend
John McCann
John McCann commented
@ Christian Mia Lydic

That comment in incoherent. Repost if you wish to be understood.
Brian Scott Profile
Brian Scott answered

Woah! Not cool. You guys are way too young for sex. I dunno what the law is like where you live, but most places it is downright illegal to have sex at that age. Just wait.

Sharron Prestcott Profile

At 12 years old you should not be thinking of having sex with anybody I have to think the 14 year old boyfriend is pressuring you to do this.  It is against the law and you could both end up in trouble.  It's against the law for a reason and that's because you're still a child and not ready to make these decisions yet.  Please listen to the advice you've got here because you're going to get really messed up if you give in to this.

Jada Shakira Webster Profile

I mean, if you wnat to then you want to but you should probably be alone together and in a goooood spot. Closets work well (kay, maybe not, but you gotta admit nobody will see you)

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

Well...of course you are scared and you should be. Your bf should even be more afraid. Him getting caught having sex with you can get him arrested and ending up on a sexual predator list. You are entirely too young to be making such a decision. Not to mention the risks.  There are STDs. If you should get one then you hace to tell someone so you can get treated. You are not even a teenager yet. You cannot get medical attention without a parent or guardian. You need to wait. 

star gazing Profile
star gazing answered

This was posted in 2013, so he’s 16 now and I hope he didn’t go through with it.


You probably feel that your boyfriend really loves you, and maybe you really love him. And you might also feel like, seeing everything on TV and in romance stories, that sex is the official seal of a relationship. Reread that and think about it. It’s not. At a young age, it is not at all necessary, to have a good relationship. What you read and see applies to adults only, and not even all adults at that point. And know that, a good person would NEVER pressure you to do anything you are hesitant to do. They would NEVER rush you.

But for any people in need of a reference, like Kass said:

Don’t do it.

1. You’re 12, no matter how much you feel you’re ready, if you’re scared ^ then no, you’re really not ready. There’s no point in it if you’re not enjoying it.

2. You’re 12. It’s illegal. That’s the age where you suddenly grow up. So there’s a big difference in the mindset of a 14 y/o compared to a 12. Know that this is something you can’t sense.

3. Std risk. AIDS. We do not want AIDS, okay. Or gential warts.

4. Other kids are unpredictable, and very good liars. Heck, even adults are. An adult might see the signs. As a kid, you don’t have enough experience to sense if he has ulterior motives.

Actual precautions (since abstinence fails):

1. Condoms on both partners (except if with girl. Then one or the other). NEVER two condoms on one partner (it will break). Helps with std prevention, but cannot 100% prevent it. It probably won’t feel as good, but genital warts and 18 years of being trapped by an infant doesn’t feel any better.

2. Safe place. No sneaking around in the park, or a fitting room in the mall.

3. Consent. This is iffy. Kids can’t give consent; they are not developed enough. But if the other person is scared, and if the other person says “wait” or “stop” or “no”, it’s illegal to go through with it, that’s sexual assault. A good person would never.

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