I Don't Want My Children Anymore. My Relationship Has Failed And I Don't Want To Be A Mother. What Should I Do?

10 Answers

Jo Bloggs Profile
Jo Bloggs answered
I found this by typing in I don't want my childrens anymore! Which is a sad truth. I have told my husband I don't want them, I have saught professional parenting and been seing a child psychologist to try and help me with them, but I my husband is never on board. The kids walk all over me, they are insolent little brats, and I can't stand to be around them. Picking them up from school today I got scratched and kicked, and that want from the ADHD sod I have. He threw a giant tantrum in front of everyone, my eldest let go of the 3 years olds hand and he was missing among a flurry of cars, busses and childnren. They don't listen to a word I say. I am a teacher and I can handle 32 of other peoples children all day, but cannot handle my own. My love is far from run out for them, and the fact that my husband doesnt support me, means my love for him is running short too. Nobody believes me when I say I have had enough - I am at breaking point.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I hope you are feeling better now. I applaud you for being honest about your feelings, the kind that would not be accepted by others. You are being honest and it tells me a lot about your dedication and investment in your family - and how someone else stealing your spouse shatters everything you believed in.

I experienced similar feelings and tremendous guilt. My ex husband is mentally ill but he appears happy and well adjusted to the general community. He is superficially nice but some people see through him. I can't stand anyone who can stand him. My children can stand him. That causes a conflict in my heart and mind.

Also, your dreams have been shattered like mine. I wanted to grow old with this man after 16 years and hold our grandchildren together as a married couple. I enjoyed sharing the children's cute moments with my spouse and now when they have a milestone I don't have anyone to smile or laugh with. Having children in my mind, and it sounds like in yours, is something you do together as parents. When my ex husband ran off with his girl then that missing piece of the puzzle seemed to scramble all the pieces. It doesn't make sense at times that I am with them alone with no one to share the joy and sorrows. It gets so painful, the kids remind me of him, that I almost think I'd be better without the children. I can't feel it in my heart but I know in my mind that I would regret it. I'd like to know what you ended up doing? Its been a while since you posted. I wish I could shake my feelings. I don't have financial problems raising them. Its just the constant reminder of him-I want to run away from anything that even vaguely reminds me of that man. And it makes me want to give them back when I think of him with this other woman. I am so sorry that you are in this much pain.
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Anonymous
Anonymous commented
I am in the same situation, I dont love my ex anymore, we have 2 children, but since there father left nearly 2 years ago my love for them has slowly gone. I thought I was the only one who felt like this. I am planning in the new year to speak to there father and make arrangements but my other concern is that no one will understand why I have givin them up. ;(
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I feel the same way. I hate my husband and I swear all I do is yell at my children for the same things everyday. They are 5-3- and 20 months. My husband is 24 and literally has the education level as a normal elementary school graduate. He's 3 years older then I am and I'm going back to college to get another degree. My family is built up of selfish, spoiled, whiny, brats that don't deserve 1/2 the things I give them. I dream about leaving so far away and starting my life over while I still can. Should I?
carrie Profile
carrie answered
You need to separate your feeling for the man from the feelings for your children. And run to your nearest mental health center and get enrolled in some parenting classes and therapy. Right now you are stressed and saddened by the loss of your relationship. But your children need you and love you. Abandoning them now will scar them for life. Most Counties have free mental health services. Go in and they will help you get past your grief over the ended relationship and help you to build stronger relationships with your children. You will be happier in the long run. And trust me, you will never forgive yourself otherwise. Someday you will decide you want your children back and it may be too late. Children don't always forgive and forget. Trust me on this, I know. Good luck. And you can do this. For yourself and for your children.
Blanca R Profile
Blanca R answered
I am not going to tell you to keep them or give up your kids because if you keep them I don't want them to be in anger at all, I have seen tragic stories. But anyhow if you do not want them then there are plenty of people that would love to have kids. There are services that you can take them to and they will help them find a healthy family because you don't want your kids to see they're mom suffering or treating them bad... Always remember that kids never forget anything, they are very smart.

Also if you do want them then make sure that you provide them a healthy environment, I know this world isn't perfect but TRY for them if not for yourself, overall you are their only mother they will ever have. You gave birth to them they are a part of you. You can do it. I will support any decision you choose to make. Go with what your heart tells you. I hope I helped you out.
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Mia Williams
Mia Williams commented
Thank you for this advice. I want everyone to know that I would never harm my children. I want to send them to live with him. My heart is gone. I would never mistreat them but emotionally I can't deal with them. I don't want to laugh or play with them right now. I'm holed up in my room and I don't want to come out. They shouldn't see me like this but I am grieving.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

Really no man or anyone should every make you that down, you don't want to
deal with your kids thats crazy you need to seek expert advice!

How would you have felt if you mother gave up on you..not trying to be mean...but you are
all they have, you gave birth to them...

I'm a single mother of 6 kids 5
boys 17 15 13 11 10 and 1 girl who is 9... They're brats, ungrateful
slobs, and a pain in my ass 99 percent of the time

M.y 15 year old has osteoporosis so we are at the doctors at least 3 times a week. My 13
year old has ADHD bipolar with opposite defiant disorder - he has therapy
twice a week and a doctors appointment once a month.

All my kids do is
fight and argue and sometimes my stress level is through the roof but
never in a million years would I ever think of getting up on my children
one day they will be grown nobody ever said there was a book on how to
be a good parent all you can do is guide your child in the right direction
and hope for the best!

So no matter how stressed you get or how bad your
kids may be acting, they are yours. Suck it up and deal with it!

Stacie Profile
Stacie answered
Definitely you don't need to take the feelings for the guy/girl out on your children. They need you.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Your best bet is to tell your ex you can't look after them. I'm sure he would gladly raise them. You obviously only had them for him, it would be better for everyone if they lived with him. There's no shame in not wanting kids but it was wrong of you to have them just for him.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Don't let go of your children,as long as you have your children there is always hope and a chance to try an rebuild what you and their father had as this way he will always be in your life,love conquers all
Starma Scorpio Profile
Starma Scorpio answered
That is the saddest thing I have ever heard truly.  I hope that the father wants them for their sake.  I am not trying to make you feel bad but this is also possibly the most selfish thing that I have ever heard.  Can you even imagine what this would feel like as a child to not have your mother want you?  How did your mother treat you growing up?  Have you sought proffesional help?  I am a single mother and it is tough, I have given up so many dreams and wants, relationships, jobs, goals all for my daughter, and you know it hurts sometimes but she is worth it and just like your children she did not ask to be brought into this world, it was your choice, just remember that.  My relationship with her father failed also and it was painful, but get your big girl panties on and DEAL WITH IT!  I am sorry, I don't know you and do not usually get angry from reading others posts but this is awful.  :(
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Starma Scorpio
Starma Scorpio commented
I was probably way too harsh in my response to you and I apologize, needing a break to regroup is one thing but I urge you for your childrens sake please don't give up on them, :( Imagine the heartache you feel and multiply it by a million and that is what your kids will feel without you. I do understand how you feel believe me.

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