I've always had a bad relationship with my mother. She beats me and emotionally blackmails me a lot. She always said I shouldn't tell my dad because it would make them fight, but yesterday I couldn't take it anymore and told him. They had a big fight today and will probably get a divorce. My mom keeps telling me to stay with her, because she says she doesn't know what will happen to her if I don't. I need my dad to be around me, but at the same time I don't want to leave my mom alone. What do I do?

4 Answers

Don Barzini Profile
Don Barzini answered

Would opting to stay with your dad also include beatings and emotional abuse? It might be a bad idea to expect your mom to be LESS uptight than she was before this crisis, could you really expect things to get better now?  

 Think of your own best interests, if no one else will.

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

Go where there is no longer abuse and dysfunction. It's really  quite a logical decision.

Your mom may have issues far beyond your control and is not a good influence to you, nor does she have the ability to parent you without bullying you. She is an adult and is using you as a crutch to fulfill her own needs without giving any thought to yours. Avoid dysfunction if you can and seek a more balanced environment.

Encourage your mom to seek councilling and to work at healing herself .. so maybe you can cultivate a new and healthy relationship sometime in the future. 

Pepper pot Profile
Pepper pot answered

You are not responsible for your mother, you are the child she is the parent and not a very good one at that.  Choose yourself because she isn't. If she cared for you that much she'd want you to go to the person where you'd be safe and feel happy, not where you'll be tortured everyday. She is using emotional blackmail, trying to make you feel guilty for leaving, and then she abuses you. What a horrible lady.  Choose you Caitlin, please choose you.

I'm not sure if this is your mum, but the link maybe worth a look:-

http://narcissistschild.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/emotional-blackmail-and-you.html

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

You have to learn to let TOXIC relationships go..... Even if it is your mother. Just because you survived 9 months in her womb does not suddenly make it okay for her to beat on you! YOU OWE HER NOTHING!!!!! Go where you are loved and cherished like you should be. You are a gift to your parents! Always remember that!

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