Anonymous

My Husband Is Addicted To Looking At Other Women In Front Of Me. Does This Mean That He Wants That Type Of Woman Body Type More Than Mine?

27 Answers

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Yes, I agree. It's a question of disrespect. Even the most attractive, intelligent, secure woman can be reduced to insecurity when her man looks at another woman in front of her. God only knows what they are thinking. What are they thinking? Just, What a hot girl? Or, wish I could have her? Or, wish I could tap that? Or God forbid, they are thinking about her when they are making love with you?

It makes me sick. It's so unfair. I know that we women look at other men. But, I think, in general, we are much more respectful about it. Also, we have so much less to choose from to look at. There are so many hot chicks around, but hardly any good looking men. And also, they aren't flaunting their bodies as women do.

It's totally unfair and I'm sick of it. I'm tired of feeling that I'm not good enough because my man is looking at other women in front of me. If he wants them, go then, and leave me to find someone else who is better for me.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I am 24 years old double DD's small waist cute in the face. I am going through the same thing ladies, I have been with my man for 11/2 now, and he is great he cooks, clean, even run my bath water when I get off of work. But when we get in public he just has to look at every women's butt that passes by. It's no excuse for a man to disrespect his girlfriend especially his wife in public. It took me by surprise because I have been in pass relationships and my man only look at me. SOOOO all men don't do it. I have confronted him about the problem he sd he will change but, I am to young and beautiful to wait for a man to come to his senses and know that I am all he needs. So I have left him, not because he wouldn't stop, but because I know my worth, and he wasnt worthy to be with me!  ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My husband does the same thing, but now it has gotten to the point that we are not intimate anymore. Every time I try to initiate, he withdraws. No I am not skin and bones, but I am not as fat as a cow either. Some men can look and it not be problems for their relationship, but I have found that a lot of men that continue to do it after you ask them not to really do not care about the one they are with. I will divorce my husband for this. I am working on it now. I can't compare to an airbrushed models picture or someone who starves themselves to be thin, nor do I want to compare. I am me, and one day I will find the one that is happy with ME!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Yes, it means he lusts for women with a different body shape than yours. He's not attracted enough to you, so he stares at what he is attracted to. Don't put up with it for a second!! Leave him a.s.a.p!! You deserve a real man who is only into you, and if you don't find that man, you are MUCH better of being single and happy!!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I am SICK and TIRED of my husband looking at other women while he is with me. At first ( actually still), he was trying to convince me that I am imagining and that I am INSECURE, but for god sake, I should NOT worry, because HE will help me OVER COME those issues I have with MYSELF. ?What type of BS is that? No, I do not have self esteem issues, because I am good looking, I am educated, I have GREAT sense of humor..... The only thing I am asking is NOT to be disrespected, because he is directly disrespecting me when he decides to take a look at another women and than turn around and try to tell me that I am imagining!!!
I am really upset and I don;t know what to do anymore. I am pregnant with his child and he wants to look at other women. I don;t know what to do. I will divorce him for this, because I am not happy right now. I mean, he must be looking when he is at work, during lunch time...., and that is FINE. Look as long as I am not around! However it seems that 10 hour work day and staring is NOT enough. Obviously he has desire to keep doing that.
Man, oh man, the more I write the more I am getting PISSED at him!!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Mine does the same thing an lies thru his teeth about it, even though isee it. He has this leg n nylon fetish, an if you see some chick wearing it....hiseyes are staring, it hurts me, because it makes me think that theres something wrong with me why I can't keep his eyes off others in that way. I'm not insecure, and I am goodlooking and I do fullfill his fetish for him and it doesnt feel like enough. I m sick of it, and ts not fair, for yous who say were insecure or men will be men n that its natural--the hell with you-- you just gave up and let them pigs have their way, no its not normal why should women or society allow this to be called normal behavior? Its disrespectful and when I truly love someone I have respect for my partner and even the hottest man in the world in front of me wouldnt catch a second glance, what makes it right for them?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Men SUCK! We need to do the same to them! PIGS!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I do agree with previous answer, It's just the way he treats YOU. I like nice looking guys, it my weakness, but no one of them was looking regularly to other woman when he was with me. And now I met this new guy and he does, I told him once, we will see what happens next, but if he will continue, than I  going to say: Hey, I like you, but I think I'm attractive enough to have your attention when you are with me, if not, than I find another man, who will respect me. :/
jim beam Profile
jim beam answered
As I man I can say that I, as well as many other men I know, are addicted to looking at women. It is a true addiction. I am currently in a long term relationship with a woman I love but I can't stop myself, whether in public or on the internet. I think my earlier single years and the internet have conditioned me to associate novelty with beauty. I am not sure what the answer is but I can say to the women reading this that it has nothing to do with them (i.e. Unattractiveness, weight gain...) and everything to do with their man.
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Mightbe someone you know
Really? R u just too weak? If it were a drug addiction, would you keep using at the expense of your relationship, or actually care enough to get your sorry excuse-making a__ Into a program? If your daughter married a man just like you, How would that be? After all, it isn't really his fault...it is an addiction for which there is no cure! She should be content with his assurances that it is no reflection on her. Please.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
This is you letting yourself off the hook. Men excuse themselves for this type of behavior and permit their partners to become hurt by it, and simply dismiss it as "it is who I am". Well, I don't buy that. Is disrespecting who you are too. I am sure that you also lack in complimenting your own girl, and easily tell her that she is insecure. You should have more control over yourself. It is hurtful and damaging. Did you ever think that it makes the person that you are with feel unimportant and not worth as much? If it is that easy for someone to steal away your attention...What else would it be easy for you to do?

I don't think that you are capable of really caring about anyone's feelings but your own. I would also venture to guess that you would not tolerate a woman who is addicted to looking at other men. please...
Cecelia Baker Profile
Cecelia Baker answered
I'm suppose to get married this month.  This will be my 2nd marriage.  My ex-husband left me after 14 years; didn't see that coming.  I had problems with him looking at other women and it embarrassed me but I never thought he would just up and leave without notice.  Now I'm in another relationship; thought he was the man of my dreams.  Gave me all his attention initially, now he too constantly looks at other women when we are out together.  He tells me I'm insecure and he's not looking but I know what I see.  If I'm looking in his face and see's he's not looking back at me, all I have to do is follow his eyes.  Always 100% of the time there's another woman.  Yes, I'm sure I am insecure, after all - I've been to hell and back. Like my ex-husband, I never saw this behavior coming.  Internet Porn, Magazines filled with nudity.... We use to have sex all the time now he doesn't even touch me.  I use to feel special and beautiful but now I feel old, dirty and ugly.  I use to be confident, now I'm filled with doubt, loneliness and sadness.  When we first met he was not this way.  I got flowers every Friday with a beautiful card, now I get looks of disappointment and disgust from him.  I'm 47 years old but look like I'm in my early 30s.  I normally laugh a lot; enjoy watching sports and I'm very attentive to his needs.  It is very hard for me to accept him this way, but I truly don't want to care any more.  I don't want to hurt because he looks at another woman right in my face.  I don't want to wonder what he's thinking when he turns all the way around to watch a woman pass him by.  I know she see's him too.  I want it not to hurt.  I feel he wish he had someone he thinks is "Better" but is settling for me.  I too wonder if he's wishing to be with another woman and I'm just here for now because I am a "Good Woman".  I would never behave that way in front of him because I love him too much but that's me.  For once in my life I want to stop expecting a man to be different than what I've always known.  For once in my life I don't want to care or hurt because of a man.  I love being in a relationship; I just need to accept the fact men will be men and eventually the fireworks will burn out. 
unknown unknown Profile
unknown unknown answered
Well my husband and I have been together for going on four years and yes it hurts very bad when it seems other women are the center of his attention. It seems it's always the internet with porn or the magazines, or when you are in the store and he looks at other women instead of you or even walks away from you so he can look all he wants. It is very painful to feel unwanted and unloved by the man you love and what makes it even worse is when he stops making love to you and tells you your body is not his body of choice but yet says he loves you. I have not cheated on my husband and I won't but I too am at the point that I don't know what to do anymore. I do and try everything I know to please him and get him to make love to me and look at me the way he looks at other but he refuses. I am so hurt by his actions. Some say to just let it go and do the same but two wrongs do not make a right. And the bad thing is I feel he does not carer what it does to me how our marriage is slowly falling apart . I need to know he loves me and I need him to make love to me and soon. So the best of luck to you because you are not alone and these men better wake up and realize what they have because we have but up with it this long if they think another will I think they will get a shock of their lives. They need to realize especially the older ones the younger girls won't hang around with a man who want put out or look at others when they can easily find another as we all could but choose not too. In my case I pray for a miracle to happen because I've offered to watch  porn with him and everthing else and he refuses so its coming down to ?.     Good luck
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Hi there, I am married since last May, and I'm pregnant and I have the same problem, I'm suffering a lot and caring every night, I really feel so pain, why he doesn't respect me and care about how I feel especially that he knows very well that his behavior is hurting me very much!!! I was in love with him but now I don't feel the same thing, I decided not to go out with him to any place unless there is a must to be with him, you know what I really don't like to be around him any more, I don;t trust him, how can I if when we're together he looks to other women not just a passing glance but first and second and sometimes third, then when he is alone what?????the problem is that I'm good looking, hot, attractive and funny, and am very supportive ti him in all aspects and he is also, but what he needs more, any idea please?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I think it means he has no respect for himself or for his spouse. If you love a person it is fine to look but to do it on a daily basic is an addiction that we will not admit to. I think it;s sad to be with someone who spends their time on the internet 24/7 when they have someone with them that they could be spending that time with. After all when it;s said and done, who is going to be there for them you or the ones they spend and waste time with. The truth is they don't see that the most important person is the one that is with them. You know the old saying"you never miss your water til your well run dry"
Lila Davis Profile
Lila Davis answered
I am divorcing because of this too. We also have two children and I already gave him many chances to realize what he's doin. It seems that I am not enough for him that's why he is looking around for women all the time. I agree that all men are not the same. My ex never gave me a right and he was treating me like a princess. If he doesn't want me, it is ok. Others will
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I have the same problem. My current mate weighs 330 lbs., and is quite attractive but has an awful body at the moment. He's a singer, and easily could get women if he lost weight. But he's with me, just not extremely gorgeous. It does make me really insecure that his every waking moment is looking at women. At his computer he spends every second looking at women.

Why? It doesn't give him erections? He just can't stop. Personally I think it's an addiction that wastes his time, he's not songwriting and singing just using his keyboard and eyes.

What's really going to happen. We won't make it, as I'm not going to live like this. Shame because everything else is just great.

I'm an artist and we are both creative people, it's his addiction that will make him be alone again.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
No, I hate to say it but, some men and women enjoy looking at the opposite sex. He/she can look but don't touch is something to agree upon. My husband does it in front of me all the time. I use to get upset but, after he brought it to my attention that I do it all the time around him I realized there was nothing to stress about as my feelings for him are solid. At a friends suggestion hubby walks behind me so he could get a good look without annoying me. I walk ahead to get a first strong eye contact, wink or smile at any guy I find really attractive and hubby won't see a thing the rule is not to look back. If you do just say he was someone you recognized or thought you did.
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Anonymous
Anonymous commented
Respect: A considerate husband/wife is sensitive to a spouse's feelings, does not want to hurt them. Normal: Defined as the usual, typical behavior but does not mean "best." Self-control: Marriage means putting a leash on "natural" desires and single-life habits, focusing on the one for whom we promised to "forsake all others." Delayed gratification comes from trading the thrill of "pornographic staring" for something better later - hot, loving, sex with one's spouse. Priceless. Married 34yrs.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I am getting a boob job so my husband will look at me and if he doesn't want to, well then all the other guys can look at me!!! If you can't beat the other women, then join them!
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Mightbe someone you know
That is just pitiful. Having to surgically alter your appearance to be with someone? Trust that the someone is not worth it. When the boobs go, and the body ages, the looks go...then he goes lookin'. Much better to find a quality mate than to have surgery to try and be his Barbie doll. Very sad for you. Good luck.
Arsalan Maqbool Profile
Arsalan Maqbool answered
Many men continue to look and check out other women body parts even after getting married and knowing that it annoys their wives.It is in their nature and does not mean they want those women.You should clearly tell him that his behavior irritates you.
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Anonymous
Anonymous commented
I have told my husband that this behavior bothers me but he continues to check out other women in front of me whether it's in a magazine in the grocery store or a women he spots. It not only irritates me but it makes me not want to go out in public with him anymore, and it turns me off from wanting to be with him.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
What if u do and he still continues to do it and verbally lets you know that you shouldn't have a problem with it even though when he met you he was told that you had a very low self esteem
and if he paid attention he could see that?? I am so frustrated that i have to constantly feel that i am not good enough.
Khalan Neal Profile
Khalan Neal answered

Are you "intimate" frequently enough? guys have wandering eye s no matter what you do to be honest

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Mightbe someone you know
Copout. No excuse. Have sex every day with one of these dinks, and they will still do it. They are rude, uncaring boors without an ounce of pride or will. Am I wrong, fellas? If I am, then prove me so by not being a disrespectful, self-centered fool.
Mightbe someone you know Profile

I just don't understand why we assume that men are so weak and ape-like, with no free will or control over a repeated action that obviously hurts a loved one. My strong protective instincts as a mom may say that I should rip the throat from someone that I perceive as a threat to my children, or my family unit, yet...here I stand, with no uncontrollable urges to maul anyone, or even any fantasies about violence or bloodshed, even though there are many situations in life to which a lower animal, without the ability to make choices, would respond to with violence. Most of us have been in situations where we believe our children to be in some sort of threatening situation. Normal, thinking people simply remove their children from the situation. Savage base people without any self control may choose to attack, but that just tells us how weak their minds are. You can see these unfortunates every day on the daytime 'talk' shows, but happily they are not the norm. Why? Because a human has free choice. Someone who abuses the trust and / or feelings of their loved ones DECIDES to abuse the trust and feelings EVERY TIME they make a choice without regard to others in their lives. As long as we keep making excuses for them, there will always be WEAK 'men' that continue to use this excuse ( "oh me oh my I am simply not in control of my impulses! I am weak as a kitten! I have no choice!) And of course, there is the old saw " It is MY CHOICE if I want to stare at other women." Really? Why is it a choice to stare at women...if it is uncontrollable? If the 'gentlemen' claim it is their choice to do it, even they, with their tiny little primordial brains, may be able to figure out that they have contradicted their own claims that it is out of their control. How about this, fellas...MAKE A CHOICE. Either CHOOSE to stare at/openly fantasize about other women, and be COMPLETELY HONEST from the start with your mate/potential mate...or MAKE A CHOICE that will strengthen your relationship, show respect for your mate, and harmony in your family.

That's it, guys. MAKE A CHOICE. Don't let ancient, invalid (assuming you are a human being rather than a lower primate) statements keep you in the dark ages.

Of course, if you really ARE that weak, no good woman who does not share your compulsions will put up with it for long, so it is a decent bet that you will not need to worry about hurting those who love you...because there won't be any.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

Men want their girlfriend's/wife's respect. It's natural that it quickly evaporates when he ogles other women...not good for him. If he keeps doing it he loses her heart too.

rick potter Profile
rick potter answered
I am a guy. Married over 20 years and would never dream of leaving my wife for another woman. However, if a beautiful woman walks by I do take notice. Sometimes I will catch myself in a stare. I would have to say it's an automatic thing in guys. I can see the woman's perspective on how it's disrespectful but it takes a conscious decision to get myself to stop doing that. It can and does become exhausting.
I've taken time to read some science behind this and found some interesting things. First, men aren't wired like women. Seriously! The visual signals go to the stem of men's brain before being processed by the logical part. So in layman's terms, we men see a woman, lust then have to make a decision. A woman sees a hunk and has to make the decision to lust. This wasn't meant to be a cope out, just an inside to better understanding how men see. It helped me better understand myself a bit better.
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Mightbe someone you know
It is only exhausting until you are in the habit of controlling yourself. Can you? Do you even want to? Yes, science shows us that male animals are give a natural hunting instinct, to mate with a strong, suitable mate. They are also given the just-as-strong natural urge to kill any other male that gets in the way of that procreation. Tell me, how many men have you killed? Does it make you exhausted trying not to kill them? After all, you are designed by nature to do so, it must be grueling to stop yourself all the time. So, yes...it IS a cop out. But it sounds like you need a long rest, you poor, poor animal.
Paul Kite Profile
Paul Kite , how to make ex come back, answered

Guys will be guys, it's a natural instinct. But you can try and train him out of it!

ANDREA CAMPBELL Profile
ANDREA CAMPBELL answered
I've only been married a month & my husband deliberately was looking over a woman's shoulders as she was sitting in front of us and he was starring at her fake boobs. :(
it made me feel so small yet, he tells me I'm his everything. How can this be?!?! It still hurts, I even offered to take him to strip joints but he refused to go.
I offered the topless bar, just so he can get his fill & finally get sick of looking at what he can't have for as long as we're married.
melissa childers Profile
It's just men, honey..but just b/c he looks doesn't mean he'll touch.
1 Person thanked the writer.
Janet
Janet commented
Both of these answers are very true. Men are men. they look at all women.
Just be secure with youreself and dont make this a big issue.
Mine also looks, and yes it does bother me at times but I know he loves me and comes home to me, :)
John McCann
John McCann commented
Finally, a sensible answer!
Lynda Swisher Profile
Lynda Swisher answered
You need to be more secure with yourself! He could have had ANY other woman, but he chose YOU. Some men just have a stronger urge to 'look'. My mate enjoys looking at breasts, it used to irritate me noo end...but then, I see how good looking he is..sweet, kind, compassionate etc., etc.,..well, I just feel proud and happy that he chose me. (little me).
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Mightbe someone you know
If he could have had ANY woman, he would obviously have chosen one with big boobs. Since he couldn't get one that met his expectations, that also had big boobs, he 'settled' for his second choice, a great gal without big boobs. He spends his time fantasizing about boob-gals because he thinks he has settled. She deserves better.

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