I just don't understand why we assume that men are so weak and ape-like, with no free will or control over a repeated action that obviously hurts a loved one. My strong protective instincts as a mom may say that I should rip the throat from someone that I perceive as a threat to my children, or my family unit, yet...here I stand, with no uncontrollable urges to maul anyone, or even any fantasies about violence or bloodshed, even though there are many situations in life to which a lower animal, without the ability to make choices, would respond to with violence. Most of us have been in situations where we believe our children to be in some sort of threatening situation. Normal, thinking people simply remove their children from the situation. Savage base people without any self control may choose to attack, but that just tells us how weak their minds are. You can see these unfortunates every day on the daytime 'talk' shows, but happily they are not the norm. Why? Because a human has free choice. Someone who abuses the trust and / or feelings of their loved ones DECIDES to abuse the trust and feelings EVERY TIME they make a choice without regard to others in their lives. As long as we keep making excuses for them, there will always be WEAK 'men' that continue to use this excuse ( "oh me oh my I am simply not in control of my impulses! I am weak as a kitten! I have no choice!) And of course, there is the old saw " It is MY CHOICE if I want to stare at other women." Really? Why is it a choice to stare at women...if it is uncontrollable? If the 'gentlemen' claim it is their choice to do it, even they, with their tiny little primordial brains, may be able to figure out that they have contradicted their own claims that it is out of their control. How about this, fellas...MAKE A CHOICE. Either CHOOSE to stare at/openly fantasize about other women, and be COMPLETELY HONEST from the start with your mate/potential mate...or MAKE A CHOICE that will strengthen your relationship, show respect for your mate, and harmony in your family.
That's it, guys. MAKE A CHOICE. Don't let ancient, invalid (assuming you are a human being rather than a lower primate) statements keep you in the dark ages.
Of course, if you really ARE that weak, no good woman who does not share your compulsions will put up with it for long, so it is a decent bet that you will not need to worry about hurting those who love you...because there won't be any.