Every Night My Husband Drinks And Then He Wants To Have Sex. It Goes On. I Hate This. Then He Says I Don't Enjoy It And Just Lie Down Like A Dead Body. What Can I Do?


6 Answers

Oscar De La Huerte Profile
There are various issues that need addressing here- the most important of which is that you shouldn't feel pressured into having sex when you don't want to.

Whilst sex is a vital part of any relationship, a one-sided sexual relationship is certainly not going to satisfy you- and evidently isn't even satisfying him either!

As with most sexual problems, the best thing to do is to speak to your husband frankly, but sensitively.

Sex and alcohol Do alcohol and sex mix? The issue is one that many people struggle with. The answer lies in how your husband reacts to alcohol. It's well known that some people become elated and jovial after a few drinks, whilst others become aggressive and uncontrollable. If controlling his temper is a problem for your husband - then the issue of whether he should be drinking at all comes to the forefront.

What to do about a drunk husband demanding sex As far as the sexual effects of alcohol on men, research suggests it's a double edged sword.
Consuming alcohol is likely to reduce your husband's inhibitions, so any feelings of sexual frustration or desire may manifest themselves after he's had a drink.

On the other hand, being drunk can have hampering impacts on the physiology of sex (trouble maintaining an erection).

It can also lead to his sexual advances being sloppy and therefore unappealing.

Changing the situation you are in is vital for your relationship.

I would suggest the following steps:
  • Try talking to your husband when he's sober, explain why what he does makes you feel uncomfortable. Try explaining foreplay to him (buy a book if necessary).
  • Try initiating sex on your terms, when he's not drunk. Take charge and show him what you want out of a sexual encounter.
  • Suggest doing something other than drinking before sex. Perhaps watching an adult movie together, or sharing a romantic bath might make better foreplay than a few pints of beer.
  • If none of the above seem like a feasible approach, then unfortunately it may be time you re-assess why you're in the relationship in the first place.
Carolyn Jones Profile
Carolyn Jones answered
First of all you don't have to be treated like this. Your body should be treated with respect and care which is just not what he is giving you. How can he expect you to enjoy the sensuous act of making love is he is drunk all the time?

The thing he doesn't realise is that he is also numbing his own senses and making sex not as enjoyable for him too!

You need to look at two things here. Can you go on like this? (If so how long do you think this relationship will last?) And why is it he is drinking so much in the first place? Maybe this will help see whats happening.

In a marriage you are meant to work through things together. Try and explain that you are worried about him and that perhaps you could enjoy some real time together talking. Spend time making love and not just 'having sex'.

You can't go on being treated as an object and being criticised. It's not fair on you, your body or your mental health.
Mia Teeliumtrozzle Profile
He is a bad man and is being disgusting. He needs to stop drinking alcohol.Give him something better instead, such as lemonade.

He is being horrible by using you but is probably not evil - he is a mere fool and the alcohol is responsible for it.So take away the alcohol.Tell him to give up drinking and maybe get him to join an AA group. Alcoholics cannot help it and need support.

Once he has stopped drinking so much, he will probably be a nice gentleman and will be very sorry for what he did during his alcoholism. If not, than he is a nasty person and you will have to leave the relationship, but in the majority of cases alcohol is the cause.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My husband also drinks every night and asks for sex, but I always tell him I don't want to have sex with him if he is drunk. I just can't stand the smell of alcohol - it makes me want to vomit, so you should just talk to him and if it doesn't work then maybe it wasn't meant to be.
Gillian Smith Profile
Gillian Smith answered
You need to take control of this situation and refuse to be treated like this by your husband.

No-one needs to tolerate this sort of behaviour and you must tell your husband that this is not what marriage is about, that you are deeply unhappy and that you'll no longer tolerate his behaviour.

No woman needs to put up with this and if your husband can't respect you as he obviously doesn't at the moment, you may need to think about leaving him, even if it's to shock him into realising he needs to re-think his role as a partner in your marriage. If you don't do something you'll suffer physically and mentally and lose all respect for yourself and your husband.
Akisha Kostov Profile
Akisha Kostov answered
If you love him, talk about it. Ask him what turns him on. Be his fantasy woman! - before you just go crazy and get emotional. My girlfriends and I always have these conversations and the best results are when we express that we need to communicate more during sex.

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