It's been a year since my husband's 2nd fling with the same woman and I still break down once a week. The other woman is now married and has her claws into someone else, but I am still very very insecure. He is a hockey player and when he leaves late at night for a game which I can't attend because of work, I about cry myself to sleep. I keep thinking, is this the night he doesn't come home again? We have been through counseling and a program called Retrouvaille that we are still involved in etc. And he does all the right things, but the problem is, he did all the right things before, even when he was with the other woman. He was no different. He remained attentive, loving etc. Towards me but was still screwing her. I too am having a horribly hard time rebuilding trust with him and am constantly looking for the next lie I catch him in which is very unhealthy. I love him dearly but keep kicking myself in the butt saying, how can I love someone that would do that to me??? I am at a crossroads right now. It's been three years since the first affair with her and I have given everything I have to make it work, but if I personally can never trust him again, then I will absolutely leave him very soon. I know this is probably more my fault than his that I can't trust, however I think a clean break (No kids involved) and me moving on fresh after 18 years might be the best thing for both of us.
