I don't feel appreciated. I made a small dinner with chicken noodles and Kielbasa and my cousin turns around and had to make another meal with the food that she likes to eat. What to do when you don't feel appreciated by people and feel hurt inside?

7 Answers

Willie B. good Profile
Willie B. good answered

That was extremely rude and unappreciative of your cousin, don't let her lack of manners get you down, and don't ever cook her ungrateful butt dinner again, next time tell her to send out for pizza because you don't cook for ungrateful people.

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Well, you certainly have a right to feel hurt.  What you did did not receive the appropriate appreciation it deserved.

I don't know the details of yours and your cousins relationship; but you do seem to be a pleasant, caring, sensitive person from what I have gleaned from our interactions on here.

But if you came over some night with chicken noodles and Kielbasa that you cooked for me, I would immediately apologize for whatever I must have done to make you mad.

And then we would go out to dinner--my treat.

Toni Pauze Profile
Toni Pauze answered

Darren, I’ve thought about this question of yours all night. First I apologize for your cousin’s lack of manners.

Now.. Don’t ever do something and expect something back in return. When you do something for someone, do it with love, do it because you want to, do it because it’s the right thing to do.  It’s always nice and very much appreciated when the other person appreciates what you did but don’t count on it.

I found in life you have to make compromises, I never just fix a meal without asking if they want something different. For instance I don’t care for tuna but my husband loves it. When he wants tuna, no problem I fix it but I make salmon for me. We both have a meal together and we both have something we like.

Next time you are going to cook for everyone, ask if they have any other ideas. Not telling you to abandon your idea but maybe add some of theirs.

Again I’m sorry they were rude to you.

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

I am so sorry you feel hurt. But I am gonna play devil's advocate right now. Did she know you were making her dinner? Did she already have plans to use the food she cooked maybe before it went bad? Was this a surprise for her? Did you know if she did or didnt like the foods you made? I ask these things because i am the most pickiest eater you would ever meet. I am also probably the worst cook you'd ever meet. Me and kitchens do not get along! However, I would never just "turn around and make my own food" without at least saying something kind to you first. She could have said thank you for your time and effort but i don't eat meat. Or "i am so sorry you went to all that trouble but i already had plans to cook this ground beef before it went bad. Can we have this for lunch tomorrow?" Or "please don't cook for me. You know your uncle Joe ruined me of all kielbasa because of what he told me the "skin" is made out of." In other words, a little communication can go a long way. It's tough living with people. Please my friend, this don't sound like a rejection of you personally. It sounds like a conflict of taste buds. I hope this came out as caring because I mean you no disrespect towards your feelings. You are allowed to feel. ☺

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

I am sorry you feel unappreciated. Your cousin should have at least thanked you for your efforts. I do understand her nnot wanting to eat it though. Did you check with her about any dietary needs or requirements before cooking? If it was beef kielbasa I wouldn't have been able to eat it. If it was turkey and/or pork I could. Beef makes me ill. Unless it was freshly made without any preservatives, my cousin wouldn't have been able to eat it. Many sausage type foods contain nitrites which is known to cause migrains. Some people are allergic to the dyes that are sometimes used. Others are eating foods that are not processed or are organic. Or they simply don't like certain foods.

So instead of taking it as a personal insult, talk to your cousin and find out her reason. Next time you want to cook for anyone, ask them if the have any special dietary needs. In my extended family there are several diabetics, one who has several food allergies, two who suffer from migraines, and one who has a digestive disorder.

2 People thanked the writer.
Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
You nailed it. Between blood pressures, gall bladders, blood sugars, sensitive tongues and tummies, cholesterol, trying to avoid sugars, carbs and fat... It gets tedious trying to figure out what to cook sometimes.
Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
Oh ya and heartburns!

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