My older sister just found the cuts on my wrists. I really don't want her to tell my mom, and I've told her I won't cut again. She doesn't believe me, and I'm not sure I even believe myself. What do I do? I don't want my mom to be disappointed

You have to have someone you trust who knows about it. You have to make sure that you trust that person enough to listen to them if they think you have taken it too far. Cutters are not trying to kill themselves, they are trying to feel ANYTHING because all they feel is numb. A cutter gets in moods where they don't know if this is just a horrible dream or if it is reality so the cut let's them know this is real... It's real life. Cutters also go though times of being in such horrific turmoil on the inside that the physical pain hurts less then what they feel on the inside. It's like swapping one hurt for another in a weird way. Cutters who cut in areas likely to be seen by others is crying out for help. The person you chose to trust has to be mature enough to know where to draw the line and they have to love you enough to walk through the emotional pain with you. You know you need professional help. But no one can make you seek it. You have to be ready yourself. Until then you HAVE to protect yourself by having a "safe person."