Do you think there's a reason behind why you feel like this? Your boyfriend obviously cares for you and would understand if you maybe opened up to him emotionally a little more? This could help solve your problem of feeling anxious about speaking first to him. I used to feel anxious with my girlfriend whenever there was a silence in conversations but we talked through my social hang ups and we overcame them together.
My anxiety makes me to scared to talk to my boyfriend first and I think he's gonna leave soon, he's the only person I have so i'm scared of loosing him. What do I do?
There is no 'one' specific' or 'definitive' thing to do .. THAT is what is called working on your relationship. Seems something is already missing from yours .. Communication. If you suspect that he is not happy .. Then you need to talk about why, and if there is anything that you as a couple can improve on it. Communication and compromise .. TWO very important components of ANY relationship.
If you are to 'scared' to talk to him because you are afraid that he has bad news .. Then, you are fooling yourself into thinking THAT is enough to keep things going or that 'things' are worth keeping as they are .. What if HE is thinking the same thing?
Two miserable people in relationship .. Is not a relationship.