Anonymous

I'm seeing a hardworking, honest, intelligent, attractive guy. He says he’s not in a rush, that I need to “relax & see what happens.” (He’s been through the ringer before & has a lot on his plate.) He recently said he feels pressured. Help?

8 Answers

Angela Anthony Profile
Angela Anthony answered

You don't need help, he's telling you what he needs you to do, all you need to do is listen!

Cookie Roma Profile
Cookie Roma answered

Why do you need help?  No matter the reason, he's told you what he wants.  If you  (for some reason) would rather not take it slowly, then clearly this is not the guy for you  The guy told you how he feels so either respect that of take a walk 

Echo Jones Profile
Echo Jones answered

He was telling you to back off in a nice way.

Darik Majoren Profile
Darik Majoren answered

This is called "OPEN COMMUNICATION" . . . While it seems to you, like you need to say "help" . . . This is one of the first steps in a healthy relationship . . . I would give him the space he needs and if there is anything there (attraction) then it will move forward. Why the rush?

Jann Nikka Profile
Jann Nikka answered

Divide your time between him and crocheting, you're pressing him.

If you don't back off immediately  and give this man a little space, he'll find his space with another woman.

Rath Keale Profile
Rath Keale answered

If a great guy tells you he feels pressured by you, you should listen.

He means you are both clingy and demanding.  He doesn't like that.  If you continue, it will be a deal breaker and contact with you will end.  Take things slow and natural.  Do not assume he owes his weekends with you.  Do not physically or emotionally cling to him.  Do not depend upon him to augment your identity.  Instead, work on your personal development, pay attention to your family and friends, and be welcoming of his friends.

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Dawn Anonymous
Dawn Anonymous commented
I've been seeing him gor 20-months. It can be difficult because no one knows about us & (while he's hinted at it once) he says nothing about future plans including me.
Matt Radiance Profile
Matt Radiance answered

1.He's not in rush.

2.He feels pressured.

3.Relax and see what happens.

As the tone of his expressions and your help seeking attitude represents it seems you are really pressing the man and rushing the relationship. The point is he expressed out how he feels about your actions and you have not learn the lessons yet and seeking help to approach again to cause a different result! Let me tell you this is not gonna work this way!

He's been honest and he told you what he wants. There are factors such as "mutual communication" if you wanna have a successful relationship you must reach this point with your opposite.

He needs space, he's trying to figure his life out and he needs time, privacy and comfort in order to reach that. The good news for you is he is willing to start a relationship with you further, this is why he expressing his feelings and telling you to give him this opportunity to settle his feelings. If you be too impatient and press too hard. You will crash his comfort zone and that will make him to runaway.

Be patient,understanding and supportive. If you wanna keep this relation a chance. You have a lot of good advises on the table! Calm down and listen to them.

Good luck.

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

Help?  I'm not sure what you want to hear.  Do you need help in slowing down and eliminating the pressure you are putting on him?  I think it's pretty clear that what HE wants may be slghtly different than what YOU want.  So .. Compromise.  Take it a little slower, stop pressuring him .. Let it unfold on it's own .. And what ever IT is, will reveal itself to you. Pushing him into an emotional relationship faster than what he is emotionally prepared for is destined to fail.  If you want this relationship to have any level of longevity then do your ground work and build your relationship from the ground up .. And let him deal with his issues so  they don't get intertwined in the roots of your relationship with him compromising your foundation.

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