My bf went to drink with friends. I asked to come and he said it's a guys night. He never sees me because he works so much. I'm offended by him not wanting to spend time with me. Is that wrong? Or is he really out cuz he wants to flirt with girls?


6 Answers

Cindy  Lou Profile
Cindy Lou answered

You guys sound like you're both in your 20's. Guys going out with other guys does not mean they're flirting with girls at all.

But it does mean they are setting the scene up for several big messes. Because guys get together and  drink and before you know it, fights break out or someone decides it's okay to drive drunk and they plow into some innocent people in a car.

Drinking with the guys a lot can easily lead to an alcohol dependence /addiction if he is doing this often . They can also have a different personality when drunk and may be what's called "an angry or mean drunk" and that's when things can go wrong at home such as fighting with the girlfriend or wife and bad things happen.

This will be your life for a while until,  or even if, he decides to grow up.

If I were you, him flirting with girls  would be the last thing on my mind. I would be more worried about all things that can go wrong when a young guy drinks.

Actually there's nothing good about it -from hangover to it affecting  the liver and kidneys and eventually shutting  the body down.  You need to make a decision if he does this often, whether to find someone else or stay in that heartbreaking life .

I know what I am talking about unfortunately ...

... but still am sorry for the long answer. 

Monica Lynn Profile
Monica Lynn answered

I would sit him down and talk to him about this. Tell him you want to spend time with him.

I was in the same situation not long ago, talking things out seems to have helped me.

Cookie Roma Profile
Cookie Roma answered

Are you sure he's actually your boyfriend?  You hardly get to see him because he works so much but he is having a guys night.  I wouldn't be concerned that he wants to see other girls. The issue seems to be that he's just not into you. 

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

I wouldn't get too bent outta shape about a night out with the boys on rare occassion, it is not about finding an opportunity to go out and cheat or 'flirt' with other girls .. The female equivalent is an evening spent with girls .. And both can be a harmless enough way to let off some steam and chill out. Emphasis on 'can be'. A lot depends on if either party is trustworthy .. AND .. frequency.

On the otherhand, if his time is so strapped that he doesn't have time or won't make time for you as a girlfriend to cuitivate your relationship, then perhaps, you have a case to complain about.  I would also be a little concerned and sensitive about who he wants to spend his precious time with. It shouldn't be so much about spending one evening with the boys as much as not making time for the relationship. Without time spent .. there IS no relationship. 

If I was being left out of the loop regularly, I would complain too.  That would definitely undermine a relationship if it happens more often than not.

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

If a guy is cheating or flirting he is gonna do it no matter what you say or do. When there is a will there is a way. You need to put that thought out of your head. It will just cause you more stress. What I think your "problem" is, is that you miss him. Girls usually are more of the givers in a relationship. You give your heart, you give your soul, your time, effort and energy. It would be upsetting if he would rather burp with a bunch of guys..... But that is guys. Talk to him calmly and tell him you miss him. See if that helps. Good luck. :0)

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

If he wants to go out with the guys every time he has time off I would be concerned and ask for a sit down to talk about what you each are expecting out of your relationship. You need to find out if you are on the same page and if not what you are going to do about it.

If this is a once in the while thing, don't get upset. He may need to just decompress. Working a lot, as you say he does, adds to stress and he may just need to vent and he may not want to vent to you. Some guys don't like showing the girlfriends something they might consider a weakness. Instead get your girlfriends together for a girls night out..

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