I gave a 100 dollars gift card to a guy that likes me for his birthday. But for some reason he wouldn't accept it? He told me that he would rather take a pic with me and to write on the back of the picture "Happy birthday". He also said that seeing me is a gift itself. However, for some reason it upset me because I wanted him to accept the present that I was giving him. He told me that I was too kind and was worried that other people might use me. From your point of view, why wouldn't he accept it? The odd thing about this situation is that before my friends have told me that I shouldn't trust him and that he flirts with many girls and I am one of them. Also, what is your opinion on him from what I have told you about him here?


9 Answers

Soul Fly Profile
Soul Fly answered

I would like to put it simply because I would feel the same.

$100.00 would probably be spent within a week, max.

The picture would last a life time and be a great reminder of a happy memory. The memory would be worth more than anything a $100 could buy.

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jessica ann
jessica ann commented
Thank you for your answer. May I ask, would he think I am weird for giving him a 100 dollar gift card? Also, I have told him many times that I really like him as a friend when I could tell that he wanted more than that. The thing is, when someone is nice to me, I like to buy presents on a special day for them to show them how much I appreciate it. I have this odd personality that one someone spends their time to listen to me chat all the time, I become close to them, and I start to really like them as friends. That's what happened in this situation. I have done it with another friend last year too. I like to give rather than take.
Cheese And Crackers
It's not weird. It just kinda screams I FREAKING LIKE YOU. It also screams COMMITMENT. So yeah.
Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Well the only certain thing I can say is that when you gave him that size gift---and in cash essentially as well---he decided he was uncomfortable with accepting it.

As a man, I can say I would most likely have felt the same way---whether my intentions toward you were honorable or not.

And certainly I would characterize his declination as certainly both gracious and graceful.

I would be inclined to suggest you give him the benefit of the doubt with regard to an ongoing relationship.

Simply dial down gifts that have a monetary value and which can thus be outwardly compared with other gifts.

Best of luck !!!

4 People thanked the writer.
jessica ann
jessica ann commented
Thank you so much for your reply. I didn't see it as a lot of money. I don't know. maybe I am crazy...but a 100 is nothing to me. I don't care about money, I just like to make people smile.
Annabelle Porter
Annabelle Porter commented
Well you have a very generous heart @jessica ann
Rath Keale Profile
Rath Keale answered

$100.00 is just over the top!  It's just too much.  He isn't your fiancée or long term boyfriend.  He was right to refuse.  You would have been putting him in a position where he would owe you.  He doesn't want that.

Zack -  Mr. GenXer Profile

Are you writing a book?

Barb Cala Profile
Barb Cala answered

Not sure why you're giving such a big gift to someone you just "like".  Are you trying to buy his love or something?  I think it probably made him very uncomfortable .. Maybe with some strings attached. 

Jann Nikka Profile
Jann Nikka answered

Its was his right not to accept such an expensive gift card. Maybe he feels you are trying to "Tie Him To You". It seems you're trying to buy his love or attention. Not a good idea. Chatty teen girls will say anything, especially in a group. He's not your boyfriend, therefore he's free to flirt. Slow your roll, take a pic (with your clothes on) and chill with him. Lastly he sounds like a caring young man. Based on your words.

7 People thanked the writer.
jessica ann
jessica ann commented
I am sorry for not being clear enough. I have told him numerous times that I want to be only friends with him. I am pretty sure he wants to be more than friends. He is really nice to me and always likes to listening to me when I talk. I appreciate friends like that. So when I buy someone something for their birthday, I don't like to give them a present that is kinda cheap. I have done it with others friends that were kind to me. It's not that I want to tie him to me. He has hugged me one time without me knowing, and has come very close to me like he wants to kiss me. But I have always stopped it somehow but in a smooth way. He was the one that showed that he wants more than friends.
mary adam Profile
mary adam answered

Giving him money, never mind the amount which was excessive,  made him feel uncomfortable.  By giving it back to you he is showing you that he is a decent bloke. He has told you why he has done this by saying he thinks you are vulnerable,  what he means by this is some other guy would take that money. You need to get things in proportion,  which is why he said about a photo which shows where his values lie (at least with you) ie a photo will keep giving but cost nothing, whereas the amount of money you are giving him costs $100 alot of money for "a friend."

The fact that you've mentioned that he flirts with other girls tells me that you are interested in him more than a friend or otherwise this wouldn't be important to you. He may flirt with all the girls he obviously likes to feel attractive, but he isn't interested in them. What he did with you was the right thing.

Icee Guldiggarz Profile
Icee Guldiggarz answered

I think he was a decent guy. If he was a real douche, he would've accepted it and ignored you after that.

But I think he was right about that. Giving a random guy that likes you a gift card with that much money is kind of... Yeah, it makes you seem like a pushover. I don't know, maybe your family has a lot of money and $100 to you is like $5 to him.

I just wish more women would do that when a guy likes them. That would be absolutely amazing. You know, that should start being a new trend for women, lol.

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

My opinion on such a limited description is .. He has high integrity and moral character AND he has a keen understanding about what is important.

His flirting with other girls should  not be considered as something 'bad' .. Considering he is NOT obligated to you .. You have no right to expect him be 'faithful' to you or to not pay attention to other females if you are not in a commited relationship with him. He has done NOTHING wrong. So what if he flirts, pays attention to .. Or even dates other girls .. Unless you are willing to enter into a monogomous relationship with him, he is a 'free' man.

Your friends that are telling you that you shouldn't trust him .. Have a point (but not for the reasons they told you) .. You shouldn't blindly trust anyone at least not 100% .. Until you've gotten to know them to the point where they have earned your trust.  THAT goes for trusting your 'so called friends' too .. Blindly trusting ANYONE may not be a wise thing to do ,, even the people you call 'friends'.  THEY too could plausibly be untrustworthy .. Trust should be given in terms of an EDUCATED guess .. Not just a spin of the wheel (so to speak).

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