He sounds like a jerk, to be honest. If he is the cause of some of the issues and he isn't there for you, I think it might be time to let him go and find someone who will help you and be there for you when you need him.
i have bad self esteem problems, when I go thru pain from it my bf seems to never want to be there for me, allot of the self esteem issues come from him from the past , why can't he be here for me?
Yeeaahh....I'd chuck him quickly! As someone who's had their self esteem trampled in the ground by an ex....get rid of him now, that's the first signs of someone who's controlling.
Before you Get rid of him . . . Which you need to do . . You need to Gain your power back and get closure.
Do yourself a favor and move away from your area . . . Get a new lease on life and leave him behind . . . If you live too close by, you will find yourself going back to him . . . The self esteem impact he has on you is conditioning you to act a certain way . . . It is very close to how people are mentally tortured, and brain washed. This relationship will always be toxic to your well being.
It sounds more like you have a boyfriend problem and not a self esteem problem. I would dump him. Then take some time for yourself. Do things you like to do. Hang with friends that are supportive. Rediscover the real you and rebuild your self esteem.
Because he's not the right guy for you. If he was .. He would be there for you. I would first work on your self-esteem issues before getting involved with anyone. You are making bad choices due to your lack of confidence in yourself.
Sometimes the people we want to meet our needs either are incapable of doing so (their problem) or they don't want to undertake the extra work of doing so (your problem).
"Why can't he be there for you?" = Why does the earth rotate from east West to East?
Sorry.
Everyone has great advice and answers for you. For YOU! They are very right. Self esteem comes from SELF. You have been advised by many to leave him since he makes you feel this way..... Now let me ask you this before you go blaming him for all your troubles....... Did you actually express with WORDS your feelings that you want him to be there for you when you are feeling "self esteem less?" Or was he the ONLY male in the world that passed the "mind reading" class in high school? Here is a little lesson in biology..... Males and females are DIFFERENT! Believe it or not, males like to "fix" things. That is why you find herds of them in the Home Depot, Lowes, and auto stores. Chances are in his own mind he DID try and "fix" you and when it didn't work he probably gave up. How many times will a male press the button on a remote control that needs new batteries to change the channel before he gives up and either settles for what is on or calls his wife! LOL. The answer is three times. In other words he has probably settles for "what is on" with you. Long story shorter..... Did you ever actually sit down and have a decent conversation with him about this subject?
You are places your self esteem in someone elses hands who enjoys making you insecure. Why would you do that?
If it makes you feel any better I also suffer from low self esteem.
The answer here is very simple, your BF is immature and cannot handle your feeling issues. Probably cant even handle his own so this will never change as long as hes immature. So now do you want things to remain the same or change and if the latter, change BFs and let him know that youre leaving him because he just cant understand you and your needs. Good luck
Find out what your love language is. Find out his too. What is his starsign and what is yours?
You're asking why he can't be there for you well he can but he obviously doesn't want to. It doesn't even have anything to do with maturity, I've had a friend for many years since we were both 6 years old and she's always been one I could turn to even as a child.
To some extent we all have doubts about our self esteem, only the very arrogant person with no regard for others will not worry about their self worth. Get rid of this "friend" he is not a friend, find a real friend that you can rely on always that's what friends do.
Choose some activity you enjoy and get involved, we're usually attracted to the things we are good at, volunteer at an animal rescue group, help out with children if you enjoy being with children. There are many things you can do to meet people to make you feel that you're helping others that's the real way to find happiness.