Following Barb Cala's statement. You appear to be very young, during such age, it's more than normal to feel conflicts, specially for a young girl in particular, girls go through a very stronger hormonal activities which includes pressures and conflicts. About personality, identity, life, purposes ect . . .
You need to give yourself time, over time, as you grow, you will feel your true self more and more. Then you follow how your feelings lead you to be, but for now, don't rush, give yourself time and explore the girl inside of you more.
Your feelings aren't weird. But you must be aware there's a battle between societies out there. You must completely be aware of around you. In some societies your thoughts are roughly unacceptable and might face punishments.in some societies, one group understands you and give you rights to follow who you feel to be, some step against your feelings and say you must obey what's been ordered for you and some will point fingers at you.
You must be aware of the situations, but at the end the final choice must be yours with accepting all the consequences. Do not let either side brainwash you about what "they" think is right. You "do not" live for the others. You live for "yourself" only.
Do what makes you happy and be yourself. But for now, what you mainly need is time. Give yourself a growing time. Then you'll know more.