My best friend got grounded, she's going behind her parent's back to hang out with friends while they're on vacation. She told me she "doesn't care anymore," ...I get she's mad, but I gotta do something about it! Am I overstepping my boundaries?


5 Answers

Barb Cala Profile
Barb Cala answered

All you can do is tell your friend you think she's making a mistake acting like that.  But you're not her parents.  They need to handle this.  You'll just become the "bad guy" if you get too involved in her problems. 

Walt O'Reagun Profile
Walt O'Reagun answered

Yes, you are  - UNLESS she is engaging in dangerous/unhealthy activity such as drinking or doing drugs, it is not your place to enforce her parents' punishment.

(IMO, if the parents' expect her to abide the punishment while they are gone, they are incredibly naive.)

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Chewed Bubblegum
Chewed Bubblegum commented
No they're not doing anything illegal, but I don't want her parents to no longer trust her. I know what that feels like second hand. But her and her family are very nice and "do-gooders" and they don't do anything wrong. She's never acted like this...she's also seeing her "boyfriend" while they're away...I just can't let her do this, she's acting very immature.
Sharron Prestcott
From what you say it sounds as though her boyfriend is the reason she's sneaking around and since her parents are not there to supervise she's playing a dangerous game.

I think you need to confide in an adult before your friend gets into a situation she's much too young to handle.
Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

You can remind her of the possible consequences of her actions---including the potential trust issue---but anything coercive in nature would in fact be overstepping your boundaries (this is not an "emergency") and crossing hers.

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

You could say, "Well, Sarah, you know what's going to happen when your parents find out that you're sneaking out to see him....." and then let it go. Not your monkeys, not your circus. She can't grow up and mature if you're there to catch all of her "mistakes".  Sometimes people just have to be caught and go through the pain themselves before they learn a lesson. This might be one of those times.

Sharron Prestcott Profile

I'm thinking you're in your teens and my first question is why in the heck are her parents going off on vacation and leaving her alone?  Next I think they're out of their minds if they think she's going to sit home and knit while they're away. 

Teens need more supervision than a 4 year old and this girl's parents are being shortsighted to leave a teen alone for days at a time.

You can't do anything about it, you've told her how you feel.  This situation is something her parents have to deal with.

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