Anonymous

Why doesn't my girlfriend want me around her best friend anymore? We have been a couple for a little over a year. Before then, she, her best friend and I would hang out on occasion. But since we became a couple, I haven't seen her friend since.

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Jane Jones Profile
Jane Jones answered

I am in the best friend's position at the moment.  My best friend and this guy who I was very good friends with are "dating."  I don't hang out with them anymore because I feel like I'm third wheeling.  I only hang out with them if our other friend is there.  Second, unfortunately, is the best friend may not like that you two are together too.  

My best friend and her significant in my opinion are a terrible couple. He's kind of a douche so in small doses he's fine but whenever I'm there he doesn't treat her all that well and I can't be around them anymore unless there are other people there to buffer. I hope you're in the first boat and not the second.

Elica Zadeh Profile
Elica Zadeh answered

First of all, have you tried asking your girlfriend this very question? It may sound like an obvious solution, but if it's something benign, I'm sure she'd be more than happy to share her take on the situation.

That aside, it seems a very natural progression for friends to slip away once two people become a couple. Once these ties are established, one could very easily feel like a third wheel in the presence of you and your girlfriend, and thus feel too uncomfortable to want to hang around.

A nifty little solution to your problem might be to go double dating with your girlfriend's best friend and a guy she has her eye on. That way, you can still all hang out as friends without any awkwardness between you.

If it really bothers you though, then the best option is to casually ask your girlfriend why you don't see much of her friend any more. If there's something going on that you don't know about, it's unlikely she'll blurt it out there and then, but her reaction should give you a tip off as to whether you should enquire further.

It sounds like this issue has been playing on your mind, so there's no harm in setting the facts straight, so long as you're tactful.

I hope this helps.

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