Anonymous

I am 17 and in a relationship with a kind, honest, and respectful boy. I am not planning on having sex, however, the relationship has progressed physically. My mother will not allow any form of a physical relationship. Please help?

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8 Answers

AnnNettie Paradise Profile

Listen to your mother, for she has your best interest at heart! Often a young couple do not plan to have sexual intercourse. In most cases, this occurred because a couple engaged in petting, or stimulating touching, of intimate body parts. Confessed one unwed mother: “To me and to most of the kids I know, it just kind of went a little bit further each time, and finally you aren’t a virgin anymore. You start out to do a little petting, and before you realize what is happening, you can’t stop.” To avoid falling into sexual immorality yourself, you must lead your heart, rather than let it lead you. Your kind, honest and respectful boyfriend should honor your decision to remain chaste.

Michael Poland Profile
Michael Poland answered


Children are a full time job.

Unless you have one and can support a child or two,

don't go there until your ready.

The Brain is for thinking, everything else will come in time.

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Well, I'm certainly curious about what is happening since you say "the relationship has progressed physically."

thanked the writer.
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Darik Majoren
Darik Majoren commented
Hey, if your okay with it . . . let it right.
What's the worst that could happen?
Tom  Jackson
Tom Jackson commented
Clinton said "I did not have sexual intercourse with that woman."

So what's wrong with asking her to clarify what she means by "progressed physically?"

Apparently everyone else besides you is also "okay with it."
Darik Majoren
Darik Majoren commented
Do we REALLY want to get into the symantecs of asking a 17 year old girl about her physical interactions with her boyfriend?

It seemed a tad creepy, and since this was the first time I have seen this question and your answer . . it caught me off guard. If you're okay with it . . . then okee dokee.
Kerby Brown Profile
Kerby Brown answered

You don't need to go there.

Sex if beautiful, and special when you're with someone you love or share a connection with. Where there is no connection or love sex is over-rated, awkward and sometimes painful. I regret going there with the boys when I was your age. I look back now and cringe :S Eww what was I thinking?

If you can avoid it you should babe. You have a good mum. She is protecting you from many things you're not thinking about when you're with him and things are getting heated.

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

Help ?  To do what exactly?  Your mom is doing what any caring and concerned mom would do .. Trying to prevent a lifelong mistake. She knows what can happen if you, at your age engage in sex .. And, I'm sure,  so do you.  You know she's right. 

Keep your 'progression' at bay and don't let it get out of hand .. Unless, you are prepared to pay the consequences of nature.  It would be a very difficult situation for you, him and both of your families.  Wait until you are a little more mature and mentally and emotionally prepared to go 'there' .. At which point, you would need to consider taking precautions to avoid an unwanted pregnancy.

Listen to your mother .. And IF this boy is that respectful, he will understand that he too is not ready to take on those same consequences or responsibilities.

Don't EVER be afraid to use some common sense.

Darik Majoren Profile
Darik Majoren answered

So a great many of people I deeply respect have given you some direction to "abstain". While abstinence will protect you from everything from unwanted pregnancy to possible STD's . . . There is a missing component here. Are you "ready" for the responsibility of sex? Culture sells sex to all of us, and it is all sold without any responsibility attached to it, so very little thought is given in this respect. While sex is an act, it is not MERELY and act . . . You are giving yourself to that person and the trust must go both ways. You have the ability to create a new life, and all that this entails at the age of 17.

What you will find here with my advice, is no judgment. I first had sex at 17, and like most males of that age, I had no respect for the act or the responsibility that goes with it. We feel immortal when we are young and sometimes we only get lucky something didn't turn out for the worse. Since you wrote " I am not planning on having sex, however, the relationship has progressed physically." While I can understand that the physical part will always progress, it may be time for you to "Plan" just in case you decide that this is the boy you will give your "Virtue" to. Remember, decisions you make during this time are being formed in a highly impulsive and still growing brain, so what seems rational will get tossed out the door in favor of passion . . . If you can wait another year or until you turn 18 you can decide for yourself as an adult . . . Just remember to Plan, Respect, and understand the Responsibility that goes with these decisions . . .

Have a real conversation with your Boy friend, and one where he contributes actual thoughts and not just the gesture of agreeing with you.

At 17 you are still under age and need to respect your parents' "House Rules" even if you do not agree with them. It might help if can discuss what your mother did at your age in an open non-judging dialogue.

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