I am a mother of two and I feel I am not a good mother, because I have no clue how to cook, grocery shop or budget for groceries since money is tight. I need advice, inspiration and support, however I receive none in the real world. Help?


6 Answers

otis campbell Profile
otis campbell answered

You have to look at how much money is coming in.pay rent or morgate other bills like elec gas etc then your food. You can obtain food and diapers from local food banks and churches also so ever bit helps. They also have programs for the poor like here in tx. So u get a discount on electricity during summer and what is called a government free cell phone. Atat offers the internet for ten bux a month if your on food stamps.  Hope this helps. Keep your head up ypu will learn dont give up

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otis campbell
otis campbell commented
Kerby Brown
Kerby Brown commented
I would take a photo and post it if it wasn't so frikin embarrassing lol
Concern Wright
Concern Wright commented
Kerby brown.......I find that the greatest challenge is "how to be a good mother who is responsible for providing everything, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually -with or without a marriage mate.

Decide what is truly important to you and your children, and make these things your priorities.

Stick to your priorities, and learn to manage your time and finances accordingly. To illustrate: Your children health is important, so use your hard earned money to buy nutritious food. When it comes to cooking - you can get online food recipes and ideas try - Pinterest, food network, and your local library. Before you shop, prepare a shopping list. This will protect you from wasteful impulse buying.

Dispose of things you never use - books, clothes, gadgets. The more stuff you have, the more you have to clean, repair and maintain. The key to simplifying your life is to simplify your stuff".
Stuff equals stress!!

Train your children to tidy up every night. Don't let your home get out of control. Such domestic discipline teaches your children to take responsibility for their room and even for the home. Of course, your good example will add weight to your words. Although you maybe very busy, you must spend time with your children- not just brief periods of so-called quality time but as much time as you can give them Your children need your time and attention. Deuteronomy 6:7.
Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

THIS will boost your cooking self esteem...... Have a cook off with me! I guarantee that you will win over me any day! :0)

Let's just say, my food has been known to try suicide to get away from me!!! LOL!

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Jann Nikka
Jann Nikka commented
Exactly 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
Jan!!!!! Thank you dearly!
Kerby Brown
Kerby Brown commented
My children are dearly loved :) I guess this is why I work myself up over such trivial things. I mean obviously they are alive lol (survived all dishes so far) and they are healthy, lean kids but I just wish I could cook good food that they will love and I want to enjoy cooking it in the process. I hate hearing "aww gross" from my 4 year old when ever I serve him boring veggies and mash with what ever else. :S I would love to learn to use things from my pantry. I have all these things in there that I have no idea what to pair with. I have no clue as to what works with what. How do I figure all this out? If I cook something and it's inedible I've wasted money and time and I have two hungry ass kids screaming at me. I am literally to broke ass and scared to experiment with ANYTHING :S
What do you suggest? :)

I would love a cook off with you @yinandyang :D
Didge Doo Profile
Didge Doo answered

Hi Kerby. I understand your problem but the solution -- at least, one that you'll find completely useful -- would take many pages to write and years to perfect.

Cooking is the least of your problems. Start with simple stuff (YouTube has plenty of videos to teach you how) and if you foul up occasionally, don't worry about it. It goes with the territory. I've been cooking for yonks and still manage to stuff up. Don't be too adventurous at first. You'll get good with practice.

Money is harder and nobody can tell you how to do that. The biggest problem is that you're young with a young family. That means you're still trying to establish yourself. By the time you get it all sorted out you'll be middle-aged and your kids will be well on the way to growing up. It's like that for all of us. One word -- easy to say, hard to put into practice -- budget. Once again, it's something you'll learn as you go.

So sorry for the frustration. It doesn't help to know that all but the most fortunate experienced some of the same things  You're not alone.

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otis campbell
otis campbell commented
The wise knows
Kerby Brown
Kerby Brown commented
Thank you for your response, (without sounding too desperate) I truly appreciate it. Everything looks so simple on youtube lol. I was never even taught the basics of chopping vegetables, so I find everything time consuming and not to mention, in the end a waste of food because it is barley edible, and most definitely not going to be eaten by my fussy eaters. As a stay at home mum I know it is my responsibility to cook nutritious food, but I just can't get the hang of cooking. The sad truth is, I am a failure. Cooking is only a snippet of the things I suck at so I really want to be less sucky at it but I have no clue and no support (apart from my husband, and he sucks at cooking too) lol Jeezus take the wheel while I burry my head in a bucket for eternity.
Didge Doo
Didge Doo commented
Cheer up, Kerby. It'll come.
Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

Not knowing these things doesn't make you a bad mother .. Refusing to learn makes a woman  a bad mother.

Just the simple fact that you are reaching out for help speaks loudly about your parenting. That alone illustrates a very important life skill to your children. Asking for help when help is needed is admirable and constructive. Ask .. Learn  ..  And use your imagination to utilize your resources available to you.

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Kerby Brown
Kerby Brown commented
Hi Bikergirl, Thank you. Like I said down below I am too scared and money is too tight to experiment with food, (a.k.a learn how to cook). I really want to better my self as my children's health is paramount, but I feel I am stuck in a rut right now :S
Bikergirl Anonymous
I can totally empathize .. When I was a young mother was faced with the same challenges. I learned to make something out of very little. I often made nutritional soups and stews that would stretch out for days. Boiling chicken it turkey bones (or even just a chicken breadt or two) to make stock for soup was an easy start for a scrumptious meal that costed very little. All that would need to be added were veggies .. Cut up carrots, celery, onion, maybe some broccoli or cauliflower, even peas if you have some.. And voila .. Soup ! Thicken with flour and water paste and voila .. Stew!
Bikergirl Anonymous
Back in the day my husband and I were very creative on how to makes ends meet right down to picking up pop bottles or even beer bottles for their cash return which helped to bring in extra money. I comparisoned shop, and bought what we needed .. and sometimes that might have meant no brand name items only generic as it was so much cheaper.

I bought food items that could be combined to make larger meals so as to provide left overs for a couple of days (like soups, stews, spagetti sauce etc). NEVER bought expensive sugar cereals, for example .. unless it was a special occasion or the occassional splurge.

We shopped for clothes at consignment stores where clothing for the kids were so much more reasonable than typical stores. On VERY rare occasions were the kids able to buy those brand name items like sweat shirts and jeans .. always had generic.

THIS is how we scrimped enough to get buy and pay for things like the kid's extra curricular activies like judo, hockey, ringettes .. Hubby and I went without but we did not live in a deprived state .. we spent time with our kids not money. We did everything together. Family vacations were camping vacations..We did alright .. and we cultivated relationships with our kids that has grown into what we enjoy today. They are now parents, and although they don't struggle nearly as much as we did, they provide for their own children in a very sensible manner. They know how to prioritize and be practical. All is good.
Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

Kerby, the first thing you did was reach out for assistance. That's the first battle down. The 2nd thing you need to do is quit thinking you're a bad mother for not knowing anything about cooking. You're willing to learn - that says it all.

If you went to school, then you should remember something about food pyramids. You have the Internet so you can Google that and find out about nutrition.

You have children, so you know they need fruits and vegetables. You can buy bags of baby carrots - they are sweeter than the whole ones, but it's up to you. YouTube can show you how to cut veggies, but it's pretty easy. For celery, cut off the top - the leafy stuff - and cut off the bottom. Slice in half lengthwise and cut pieces as large or small as you need. You can use a knife and pull out the strings in celery; just pull them all the way down and throw away.

For potatoes, use a peeler to peel the skin off. Again, YouTube has videos on how to do this. Rinse the potato off after you peel it, to get all the dirt off. Cut in half and then in quarters, depending on what you're making.

Each week, challenge yourself to focus on learning a new skill and a new recipe. No one learned to cook in one day, so taking it slow will help you relax. You haven't killed anyone yet with your cooking so RELAX!

Go to www.allrecipes.com. They have some pretty good recipes and comments that you can read. If the kids are old enough, teach them while you're learning. Make this a family affair. They are more likely to eat what they've helped prepare.

If you have an open mind, you can do this. If you're thinking you're going to fail - you are. Is this what you want to teach your kids when they come up against something new? You can do this. Good luck!

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