Anonymous

Am I wrong? I am a 19 almost 20 year old girl and my step dad controls everything I do and my mother let's him. He controls how I get my hair, how I dress and even what school I got to. Is this normal? I feel like I'm being treated like a child

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8 Answers

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

When you live at home, you live under your parents' rules. When you move out, then you make your own rules. When you go back home for a visit and there is some argument about your hair, etc., you can simply smile and say - "I like it this way."

Be respectful when speaking to your parents. Hollering - "You can't tell me what to do - I'm 19 years old!!" tells everyone that you're still a child.  Adults sit down and talk through issues.

Generally speaking, your parents want the best for you, so think of that if you decide you want to smart off. It's not worth World War 3 just because you want a different haircut, or different jeans or whatever the problem is.

Get a job, save your money so you can move out and be independent. Until then, if you live with them, you have to abide by their rules.

Cookie Roma Profile
Cookie Roma answered

Easy solution.  You're almost 20 so just nice out in your own. You have your own place, pay your own way, he can't tell you what to do. 

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

There is no normal. If your step-father is paying for your school and clothes, yes he has a say. If you don't want to listen to it, pay for it yourself.

Rooster Cogburn Profile
Rooster Cogburn , Rooster Cogburn, answered

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

I don't know whether or not normal, but the lack of respect that he is showing you is not what a good parent would do, stepparent or biological.

Moving out would solve the problem, but in the meantime, can you talk to him about this sort of issue.  Perhaps that would make him think of you as more than a "child."

Cookie Hill Profile
Cookie Hill answered

Maybe he is trying to help if so it would be good for you to have a family meeting and express what's in your heart, how you feel and ask why you are not given more freedom to make you own decisions. " Let your words always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should answer each person."  Colossians 6:4  It is always important to watch not only what we say but how you say it, because  you want the best results.

Annabelle Porter Profile

Well there are several options:

1. Move Out!

2. Pay for your own haircuts and clothes so your dad doesn't have to choose.

*I think that your dad is just getting over protected.

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