Anonymous

Im in a serious relationship and in last few weeks he is rejecting me sexually. It's not about the sex it's about feeling rejected and unattractive. I have no idea what to do even after talking about it? im really depressed and i need some thoughts before i do something

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7 Answers

Angela Anthony Profile
Angela Anthony answered

It's probably not you at all. There are normal physiologic issues that can arise for males and females that actually makes sex a problem. He may have a low testosterone level which can create havoc for a man.....not only can it make him feel "inadequate" but it's a difficult thing for a man to discuss. The only way to tell if this is the issue is to see a doctor and have some labwork done.

Veronica Dultry Profile
Veronica Dultry answered

Serious relationships go through ups and downs. He might be feeling this way now, you might go through that feeling someday also. This is normal. Most people will tell you this happens. Relationships are like the tide they ebb and flow.

What's going on? Has he lost anything as of late? A job, a friend, a childhood animal, a relative? How is your relationship? Are you long distance or just past the honeymoon phase? Is he feeling less than a man in any area of his life? These are just examples, but it shows that really it could be anything.

Instead of taking this as a rejection, take yourself completely out of the equation and be an understanding significant other. Be patient, and supportive. No one wants to be badgered or guilted into sex. Don't rely on your sexual relationship to be the only way you are intimate. There are many non sexual ways to be intimate. Is it the sex or do you not feel connected when going without sex? Find ways to be connected without sex.

Think about how you would want to be treated in the same position. Say something emotionally or physically happened to you, would you want him pushing you for sex? Would you get frustrated with his behavior and retreat further from him? Be kind, and understanding. Stand by him. He'll probably do the same for you someday.

Cookie Roma Profile
Cookie Roma answered

Sounds like he has serious issues.  The thing is you CANT FIX IT.  He should get help

Walt O'Reagun Profile
Walt O'Reagun answered

I have to ask ... Are you SURE you're in a "serious" relationship?

How long were you dating before having sex?
How long have you been having sex?  And is that "all" your dates have been during that time?

Too many guys - especially young ones - think the purpose of dating is to get to the point of convincing the girl to have sex.  After that point, they lose interest, because they've gotten what they wanted.

The other side of the coin is ... If you are having these feelings just because you aren't getting sex ... You also need to seek counselling.

2 People thanked the writer.
Sargaas Antares
Sargaas Antares commented
i have to tell you, thank you for answering and trying to help but this is seriously not the problem. there are 1000 things that make it that way.
Thrice Gotcha Profile
Thrice Gotcha answered

What exactly do you mean when you say "do something"? Sounds sketchy... Listen, guys don't want to always have sex with the same person it doesn't mean that he doesn't like or care for you, it just means that he is doing his own thing. But it could also be a multitude of other reasons both psychological or emotional and he can tell you

Pepper pot Profile
Pepper pot answered

Before you do "something?" It isn't healthy to be that dependent on someone for how you feel about yourself, that makes you extremely vulnerable and easy to manipulate, also if you invest your self worth in that way it can make you controlling, to control your insides you seek to control your outsides ie him. You can throw yourself at him as much as you like but if he senses this unstableness you may put him off.

If your self worth is based on whether he is sexually responsive to you then that's not healthy either, try and find common ground in other areas, go for walks together, play a board game or cards, learn to laugh a little and not take things too seriously, maybe things are getting to intense.

What did he say when you spoke to him about it?

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