I told my parents I was gay and my dad doesn't want to talk to me now? What do I do? Can I make the situation better?

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5 Answers

Cookie Roma Profile
Cookie Roma answered

Give him time to adjust.  When she was in high school, one of my daughters close guy friends came out to me.  I wasn't shocked but he couldn't tell his parents as he feared their turning their back in him.  A couple of years later he told his mom.  She took a long time to adjust but she always let him know she still and always would love him. His dad had a much more difficult time.  Took him a really long time to come to terms with this. 

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Roy Lovett
Roy Lovett commented
Thank you for sharing :).... It's oddly comforting...
Woof Woofy
Woof Woofy commented
If I was gay and told my mom that. she would stop me from going over there and visiting. she's one of those crazier christian types. (but if i had a son and he came out to me, i would still love him to bits, just like how my cousin came out as trans gay) it took me a while to call him and him instead of a her but i still love my cousin lots.
Rooster Cogburn Profile
Rooster Cogburn , Rooster Cogburn, answered

Just give your Dad some time and he'll come around. You probably shocked them and they weren't expecting that. Best thing to do is just act like yourself because your Parents love you no matter what. Just takes time for some people to come around. Let them talk to you first about it. It'll work out, you'll see.

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

It sounds like you have shocked your dad when you told him you were gay. How did your mom react? If she is in the picture, and she responded in a positive manner, you might ask her about this. Otherwise, you need to give him time to adjust to the fact that you're gay.

It's always a risk to say something this important while you are living at home.  Some parents still need time to adjust to the fact they have a child that is gay.  Just because he's not speaking to you now doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. He needs time to process this.

When your parents got married and had kids, and when you, a son, were born, your father probably had dreams for you; dreams that might have included you getting married and having children. This will no longer happen in the conventional sense. Should he be shamed because it might take longer for him to adjust to this? No. Absolutely not. He's still your father and he still loves you.

If you feel led to have a conversation with him, you might say something like, "I know you feel sad about this, dad, and I understand. It was hard for me to accept the fact that I'm gay. I know that you don't want me to be hurt in this world that still has trouble with this. I don't either. I just want you to know that you're my dad and I will always love you, even though this might be hard for you to understand." I hope you can work this out with him. Good luck.

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Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
It's ok, Roy. It's a lot to take in.
Sane Mori
Sane Mori commented
Roy?... Are you okay..? You seemed fine earlier on the phone, I'm really worried about you. Message me okay? ^-^ I'd like to help, although I probably didn't do much last time. We can talk it over.
@Danae Hitch, I know I was sorta rude to you and I'm sorry.. I'm actually a pretty nice girl. (I am playing the role of Akise who acts like this..) I'm left alone all the time and I really do hate myself a lot... So I thought it'd be fun to play the role of someone with confidence. I didn't mean to offend anyone, though I did. I'm going to leave the site as Aru and maybe be myself.... c: Just thought I'd apologize, no games this time. I wanted to tell you, your answer was wonderful.. Thank you for helping my friend Roy..
Roy Lovett
Roy Lovett commented
Okay... Thank you Aru 💜 Hope that helped...

@Danae: When I came out to my dad, it wasn't planned... I didn't want to tell him but he made a stupid comment and I got really angry. >.> I lashed out and he left and locked himself in his room after I told him.
Woof Woofy Profile
Woof Woofy answered

Your dad will come around. It's a shock to him, that's all. He will realize that you're still the same  you as you were before you told him.

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Rooster Cogburn
Rooster Cogburn commented
Yep !
Roy Lovett
Roy Lovett commented
Yeah! :D He has always been supportive of me and I'll try to stress to him that, I'm still the same Roy. :) He's very homophobic but not religious >.> My parents are divorced, actually... I've always favored my dad tho :p

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