He might just have a clinging issue. If he never wants to leave it's just the things that make him angry when you're around him which causes him to go to you. I recommend you have some alone time.
My boyfriend abuses me when he's angry but he says he loves me a lot and can't live without me. He says he never means whatever he says when he's angry . What should I do? I asked for breakup but he started crying. Please, please help me asap.
Hello,
First of all, it is important to clarify whether we are talking about physical or verbal abuse. Although both are certainly wrong, if it's physical abuse then it would be considered domestic violence and this is against the law.
If you care about his well-being and your own, you might consider seeking help for him in the form of some counselling or rehab, since violent people are often harbouring an undercurrent of anger and deep-rooted issues that even he himself may not be aware of.
If he is verbally abusing you by way of slander and name-calling, again, this is absolutely not okay. However, the fact that he continues to behave aggressively followed by an apology seems to suggest that he can not control or change his behaviour, so accepting him back will not improve your situation and you will in fact be enabling him.
Again, it is necessary for him to seek help in order to find ways of expressing his emotions without having to resort to aggression and abuse. Until he can do this, it is dangerous for you to stay in this relationship. Both you and him will be grateful for the outcome if he goes ahead with seeking the help.
I hope this helps.
I had this happen to me. You just need to let him go and let him cry or help him through his anger or get some help for him.
They say that at their court hearings & murder trials too. At your hospital bedside, at the emergency room trying to get you to lie about how you were hurt. When you you are at Christmas dinner hiding the marks under makeup.
Get out now before you have to save your life & the life of a child. Women's shelters are full of girls & women with the same story. You deserve better, he is using tears & lies to control you. Take back control
Ma'am, if it's so much of a problem..
1. Break up with him.
Don't suggest breakup. Just do it. "We're having troubles. I can't do it anymore. It's not good for you or me."
Simple words like that are all it takes. Just tell him why.
2. If you really don't want to break up with him, there are other options.
That is the typical behavior of an abuser. The progression of tactics to brainwash you. It starts like you describe; with the intent to make YOU feel sorry for HIM even though you are the victim. The next step is to get you isolated from your friends and family so you have only him to interact with and depend on. After you go along with the demands just to avoid an argument he will start placing the blame for every cruel act he does directly on you. " If you had not called your mother, I would not have gotten so mad" " What takes you so long to go to the grocery store and back?" " I'll look in your cell phone any time I want" " Shut up and do what I tell you" " You aren't going anywhere" " If I can't have you nobody will"
GET away NOW.
There's never a reason for abuse. If he really loved you he wouldn't abuse you. Don't let his crying get into your mind. He's made you cry many times. Break up with him because you don't deserve what he does.
First of all .. What exactly do you mean by "abuses you" .. I can only assume you mean he physically abuses you. AND .. If that is the case .. Since you can't control HIS actions .. you CAN control YOURS. You have to make a descision about what YOU can control .. in terms of what YOU want to do ... want to tolerate and what to enable.
Physical abuse is about power and control .. It is sometimes is a form of releasing frustration by infliction in a very negative and destructive way .. And if it's you he focuses THAT attention on, then THAT should speak volumns about his feelings for you. Sure he may feel regret after the fact .. But after the damage is done, THAT is too little too late.
As angry as we can get, as out of control things seem .. It is NEVER acceptible to hit someone or be hit by someone.
If he 'truly' loved you and didn't want to lose you .. he would be doing more than shedding a few tears .. he would be getting help for his anger issues and stopping this destructive behaviour aimed AT you.