Anonymous

My boyfriend is lying to me and hiding things from me. Is there a way that I can recover photos he deleted or a way to find out who he's texting? Please help me. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who's lying to me.

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Lia Tan Profile
Lia Tan answered

It is possible to recover deleted stuff by hooking up his phone to a computer, but it takes a lot of programming and computer science knowledge that I unfortunately do not have. Plus it requires certain software that I, once again, do not know how to use. So since you don't really have a way of knowing how to recover these photos, then that kinda isn't an option.

If you want to find out who he is texting, you can always do the classic "look at his phone when he's not around" or something of that sort. There are once again software and programs you can use when you hook his phone up to a computer to track down all his text messages but I don't think that part is an option either.

So what should you do? Well if you are in a relationship where you feel like the other person isn't being completely honest to the point where you feel overly jealous and suspicious like this, then that should already be a hint to you that there is something wrong and you need to end it. If your relationship was healthy, you would trust your partner and he wouldn't continually do anything to raise your suspicion either (several times is okay since we're human, so the key word is continually). Therefore if I were you, I'd stop going through all that trouble of trying to find out who he's texting and the pictures he deleted on his phone and just get to the bottom of how you're feeling and why. Then take action from there. Most likely, it's best to just end things with him from here because it doesn't look like you're going to get anywhere far with an unhealthy relationship like this.

I know that it's easier said than done, but it's for the best. You deserve to have a more secure relationship where you can feel comfortable and trust your boyfriend. You said it yourself, you don't want to be dating someone who isn't honest. If your gut is telling you that he isn't being honest, then that means that something is up and it's most likely because your gut is right. I know that you're trying to find proof in your boyfriend's cell phone history order to justify your own feelings. Why do you need to justify your own feelings if it's making you feel uncomfortable? You don't have to be 100% right about this suspicion, but the fact that you are not feeling okay with this is already a good enough reason to break it off. You should never have to justify why you are feeling a certain way if it's bothering you!

Lynn Blakeman Profile
Lynn Blakeman answered

I would give up on the idea of recovering any deleted texts or pictures.

I know how hard this is but looking at his phone and spying on him is not the solution, in that way you become as bad as he seems to be.

Do you know for sure that he is lying to you or is this just a gut instinct? If you feel that he is not being honest with you, but really have no proof, sit down with him and ask him the question. Tell him that you feel he is messaging someone and that upsets you. Ask him to just be honest with you.

It could be that it is a very innocent thing. I have friends from school that I message. It's purely friendly but their wives may be suspicious if they see a message from me, so I wouldn't be surprised if they delete them.

However, you say that he is lying and hiding things and you don't want to be in a relationship with someone that is lying (understandably). Therefore, if you absolutely know that he is lying, then leave him.

A relationship is nothing without trust and the fact that you want to look at his phone etc. Says that you don't trust him. You must have your reasons for this and I don't think you will ever be happy with him or learn to trust him again, so maybe it is time to move on.

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