Why am I always just a friend to everyone, there's never somebody who loves or wants to be in a relationship with me? Is something wrong with me?


3 Answers

Cathy Tavares Profile
Cathy Tavares answered

There's nothing wrong with you love, they just don't feel the same way about you and that's something you should respect. It's not that you're a bad person it's just that everything didn't turn out for the love path. Don't be in such a rush. You will find someone who loves you back. Keep enjoying friendships :)

Lia Tan Profile
Lia Tan answered

I'm in the same boat as you and I used to think that there was something wrong with me. It's easy for other people to say that things are going to be fine, that we'll find someone in the future, and all that. Although they are true, it's always hard to believe it when it's mostly coming from people who haven't gone through what you have. When I was getting hung up about this, my friends would all tell me that it'll happen one day. But the thing was that people have had crushes on my friends before, they've had boyfriends, and they are desired by many guys. Then there's me who has NEVER ever been in that situation, so it was almost like they were mocking me in my face when they said that. I know that they meant well, but that was how it all seemed to me at the time, especially since I was feeling so bad about myself. I'm not saying that you should just ignore all those people who tell you that because that's just stupid, but rather I'm trying to say that I know what you're going through and it's easier to relate it to someone who is experiencing or has experienced the same thing.

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with you. With feelings, you can't say whether you're doing something right or wrong because they are hard to justify and rationalize as right and wrong. The reason why they're hard to justify is because there really is very little thought and logic put into it. For instance, if you have a crush on a guy but not on his best friend, does that mean there's something wrong with his best friend? Often times not. You just don't feel the same way with his best friend than you do with him. The same concept applies when there hasn't been a guy that doesn't like you. I know you may think that there is something wrong with you since you have "failed" so many times and statistically speaking, the chances that it is your fault appears to be greater. But you can't statistically analyze feelings. They are way too complex and obscure for that. There are so many factors that are put into feelings that taking into account all of them would be impossible. Plus not everyone finds the same person attractive (and I don't mean looks). Just because handful of people don't like you that way, doesn't mean that everyone else will do. So when someone doesn't feel the same way, you should just simply accept and respect their decision and move on.

Second of all, try to see the benefits of beign single. Although relationships can seem great and exciting, they often don't last as long as friendships do. Friendships are also more comfortable I should say. You don't have to worry about messing up every single thing you do and you don't always have to tread so carefully when you're with a friend. You can just simply be yourself and your friends get that. But from what I've noticed, being in a relationship is different. People tend to act more constricted and aren't able to truly express everything that they are feeling. You know how you can just say whatever you want to your friends? Well from what my friends say, they don't do that with their significant other, because they're just afraid that it'll hurt their feelings and things would just shatter. Relationships are hence more fragile and take more work to maintain.

Third of all, relationships aren't everything. Trust me when I say this. Even though I haven't been in a relationship before, I know for a fact that my life isn't bad just because I'm single. I'm able to feel joy, satisfaction, and enjoyment as someone single and I'm sure you can too. This means that I can live happily without being in a relationship and so can you. However, this does not mean that you should just give up on the hopes of having any relationship since you can just live a single life; it just means that whether you're single or in a relationship, you can and will still survive.

Lastly, you aren't alone in this. You may feel that way, but once you get to know more people, you'd realize that a lot of people, both girls and guys, are going through what you're feeling. And guess what? Most people do end up getting married in the end, meaning that the majority of all those people just like you will find someone.

So if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. It sometimes sucks to go through this by yourself. Just be aware that you're not the only person feeling this way. (P.S. It also helps if you find something to occupy your mind.)

carlos Striker Profile
carlos Striker answered

Bella, What kind of an image are you projecting?  It is an turn on factor and is there any oomph or just a oops? Don't be in a hurry your PC will come along sooner or later and don't let your hormones bugger it up for you?

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