Why is it that as you grow, you feel more loving towards your parents and brothers and that you worry them when you're not with them? And why do you feel sad when you think of it?


2 Answers

Lia Tan Profile
Lia Tan answered

When people are children, we have this complex where we are egoistical and nobody else really matters in this world. It's completely natural to be like this when we are a young and also completely natural to grow out of it when you get older.

In a psychological experiment, it is shown that children don't get that other people have different perspectives than they do until they grow older. In one of the experiments, there are two dolls and Doll A has a ball. Doll A put the ball in a basket and then she went away. Doll B took the ball out from the basket and put it in the drawer. Doll A then returns and wants to get out her ball. When asked which place would Doll A look to find the ball, toddlers would answer that Doll A would look in the drawer, completely ignorant to Doll A's perspective. This is the reason why if young children stand in front of the TV and you tell them to move so you can see, they are reluctant to do so because they don't understand why you can't see the TV. They think that whatever they are seeing, you will be seeing it too.

And in the teenage phase, is when people start to know that other people have different perspectives. But at this time, people are still unable or have a hard time to project actions and ideas into the future and know how this will affect other people - and sometimes even themselves - in the long run. Teenagers also have a different kind of egoistical complex where they think that people are always watching them and that if they mess up or if they look funny, everyone is going to notice this right away and pay attention to them. As you can see, these are less egoistical point of views than what people have as young children, but in a way are still egoistical. As a teenager grows older, these becomes less and less prominent and the ability to be aware of others increases.

Most adults have these egoistical point of views gone or at least significantly diminished, causing them to be able to care for others and see how actions will affect the people around them. That's why when we grow older, we start to realize other people's needs and wants and we start to care for them. We also grain a broader understanding of the needs and wants of others as well, causing sympathy and empathy and, when bad things happen, worry.

I kind of went on a bit of a psychological tangent, so sorry about that. Anyway, I hope this answer satisfies your questions.

angie zhang Profile
angie zhang answered

well firstly , when we are children we really don't care too much about our surroundings like we don't understand much of what's happening , like what mom is doing or why dad is away every morning its not that when we are children that we don't care about anyone , but we really don't think too much into it , for me I've grown more loving to my parents , because i'm becoming more maturer so then I know the things they've done for me , and what they are willing to do for me , and how much they mean to me , because i'm becoming more developed and i'm thinking more maturely , so I maybe I feel happiness when I see my mom because I know how much she cares for me and goes to buy me things , whilst maybe if I was a child I wouldn't really care but be excited I got a new toy , but when we get older we observe and think so eg. Someone may give me  a present but they don't seem happy about it , so I don't really class it as something coming from the person ... If you know what I mean , but what you are feeling is perfectly natural..

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