I have this huge crush on this guy at office.He matches too perfectly to what I frame my future husband as.But the prob is he never initiates a convo Should I go ahead or should I cut it to avoid complications?


5 Answers

Lia Tan Profile
Lia Tan answered

Well he hasn't shown any definite signs that he doesn't like you. Just because he doesn't initiate conversation, doesn't mean that he can't be interested in you in the future. It could just mean he's shy or that he has a lot on his mind. So don't take that as necessarily a bad thing.

That's why, if you want, just continue your interactions with him. If you don't want to get hurt too much, you can reduce them a little bit and not be as flirty. It's really up to you on what you want. But don't let the fact that he doesn't always initiate conversations determined your entire decision. Put in some other factors and weigh them together.

1 Person thanked the writer.
Anuva Gloria
Anuva Gloria commented
Thanks Lia! Trying to give my best..hope everything falls in place soon :) Please read the comment below which is pretty much what happened till date. Waiting for your suggestions :)
angie zhang Profile
angie zhang answered

hey :) well firstly you might not actually like him , i think its the fact he has all the factors you want for your personal reference of a good husband . Although you say he isnt much of a conversation starter this doesnt mean he doesnt like you , maybe he is that type of person that needs someone to approach him to get him talking, if you initially start to interact with him , he may catch the hints and start to talk to you , but he might want to make sure you are interested so he may wait for you to approach him a few more times . Also it depends how he talks to you , if he seems uninterested , he might not be interested in you as yet , though if you guys get to know each other better then you can find out if you still like him , also if he doesnt seem to be interested and  you guys have talked some time occasionally or something , he might not take the hint or  exactly be interested in you . Though i suggest you first approach him , as you know guys sometimes wait for the girl to approach as its easier for them , talk to him get to know him better and if you still like him try to find out if hes interested too , if he isnt its okay but dont dwell on this love interest .. Good luck :)

1 Person thanked the writer.
Anuva Gloria
Anuva Gloria commented
Thanks Angie! " but dont dwell on this love interest" this is what happens these days..I'm totally living on it! Please read the complete story below and give me your suggestions .
Anuva Gloria Profile
Anuva Gloria answered

Thanks people! Here goes the full version of what happened till now which i drafted but couldn't ask because of the  char count. Sad or funny please read it :)

Judge me! Suggest me! Help me! :D

I like this guy at office who sits next to me..he's smart , intelligent and funny(don't think i'm desperate)..but the only thing stops me(in-spite of this huge crush on him) from talking to him is,  he rarely talks to women..unless until someone asks him something..he never comes up and talks to anyone..this kinda attitude generally turns me off but somehow I just cant avoid thinking of him , secretly staring at him and try to gather information about him..this has gone to the extent that these days I wouldn't sleep without looking at his picture in my mobile phone. I actually started looking into void and I see his face , I suddenly turn and look at some random guy and think its him.I'm going crazy! I think a bit too much about him that is resulting in all these illusions. I wanted to talk to him but I freeze whenever I see him. I also get this weird feeling that he secretly looks at me . I'm not very sure though. This feeling kills me. Does he like me too? Is he waiting to talk to me too..but given his attitude is he waiting for me to start the conversation? This went on for 6 months and I almost gave up as this was not working. Why I came to this conclusion is this incident -- I was so obsessed with this guy that one day I decided to talk to him and since this wouldn't work in person..I decided it would be better on a social networking when I ping'd him..(not knowing what to ask..I asked something related to work which was totally unrelated to him) goes like this.."hello" "ya hi" "blah blah about work" "how would I know?" heart eyes were moist and within no time I was crying into my pillow..I gave up!

The next 2-3 months I just stopped thinking about him..looking at him and totally was trying my best to get over him..this period I also observed that he keeps hitting on things so as to make a noise when I talk to some other guy for a while and walks away from the place suddenly..may be I'm imaging things..he being jealous is too good to be true..I never analyzed more on this ..but that day when I heard he's moving to some country for a year or more..I was upset all of a sudden..I thought he was out of my mind..but that day I felt the pain of something hit me hard in my chest..I decided I will give it a try one more time as there were only 4 weeks before he leaves..

The first week

I was in trouble and my job was at stake. I somehow managed to get through but that day what I observed gave me the strength to give it a try. I was all panicky, troubled and in a state of utter confusion. I (unintentionally) turned towards him and he looked worried and it looked like he was trying to help me( though he never talked i could see it). I was out of trouble and he was back to normal with his aloof nature. I ping'd him the next day and it was a casual talk for about an hour and he was actually talking like anyone else would do with all the smileys and giggles. I felt I was talking to a new person. The chat ended and I was know how I would feel! I couldn't stop smiling and laughing to myself. I read the conversation over and over and I was never bored of reading it until the next day when I ping'd him and he never replied..the whole day! I thought he was busy and I was sad the whole day.

The next day at office he never talked or smiled and so did I.

The next 3 days were a bit busy but there was a bit of talking too (only a minute or two) and I was satisfied with that. I knew I wouldn't get more from him.

It's Friday today and I was literally going around his place and messing up with his things (for some reason I don't know..the obsession may be!) and at the end of the day while leaving I asked him something stupid and he turned back and made an apt funny face and immediately turned towards his work machine and started working and said "I'm a bit busy now" . My heart which was singing by now stopped the song at once :D I dint feel bad..I consoled myself by saying he's too shy to talk when others are around because the short lived conversation previously in this week were when there was no one around. I came home with a happy heart but history repeats..I ping'd him and he never replied!

The day ends here and I'm confused. Three more weeks left. I'm confused.

Is this a crush that is deep enough that I feel like I'm in love with this guy?

Is it my loneliness that is making me desperate about him?

Does he really like me?

Should I go ahead or put an end to it here so that I wont get hurt in future?

Help me people! Please! I don't have much time.

Ps: I had a recent break-up where the relationship was meaningless and going nowhere kind.

thanked the writer.
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Anuva Gloria
Anuva Gloria commented
But seriously why do guys do this ! Surely if I go and ask him out or say I like him the butterflies will die seeing his reaction!

AAHHHH! Okay! I wont talk until he starts to otherwise its pointless.
Lia Tan
Lia Tan commented
Truly understanding why guys do the things they do is out of many girls capabilities. I'm not even sure why they do that. It could be because they're confused, they don't want to appeal too desperate, they want to play "hard to get", or for some reason that I don't know.

As of now, nothing is progressing. I've decided to not contact him for a while so yeah...nothing new yet until Monday rolls in. I'm guessing that's probably the same with you. But once I get some news, I'll be happy to share them with you!
Anuva Gloria
Anuva Gloria commented
Well nothing progressed on my side too..I stopped talking and after a week of this..he sends me a smiley when I;m offline..I send him one.. again no reply! What is happening?!!! What should I do!
Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright , Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Psychology, answered

Office Romances seldom ever work out and they usually are more trouble than theyre worth which is why many companys forbid them. From  what youre saying, this very much looks all one sided otherwise he would talk to you if he was the slightest bit interested so before you create one huge awkward scene, forget him and move on, youll be the wiser for it.  Good luck

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