Why is marriage so hard? What makes it so complicated? Is divorce necessary?
Why is marriage so hard, so complicated? Because it shatters every romantic illusion one has in their head.
Romantic love is the shadow of True Love. No marriage can survive if the people involved cannot or will not make this transition. Romance, those intense feelings of 'in-loveness', will not solidify a marriage. Neither will sex, no matter how passionate.
Being 'in-love' is a drug. It is a euphoric state of consciousness. And a very lovely one; but it has no substance. It is just 'feelings'. There is nothing concrete to build a relationship on. When the euphoria wears off, as it ALWAYS does, people wake-up from this state and have to deal with the reality they are very possibly with a person they don't much like, or respect, or have much in common with.
Divorce is not always necessary. If they can make the transition from having their 'romantic illusions' shattered to actually loving the person standing before them, in spite of all their faults and flaws, then they stand a good chance of making the marriage work.
Romantic love is the shadow of True Love. No marriage can survive if the people involved cannot or will not make this transition. Romance, those intense feelings of 'in-loveness', will not solidify a marriage. Neither will sex, no matter how passionate.
Being 'in-love' is a drug. It is a euphoric state of consciousness. And a very lovely one; but it has no substance. It is just 'feelings'. There is nothing concrete to build a relationship on. When the euphoria wears off, as it ALWAYS does, people wake-up from this state and have to deal with the reality they are very possibly with a person they don't much like, or respect, or have much in common with.
Divorce is not always necessary. If they can make the transition from having their 'romantic illusions' shattered to actually loving the person standing before them, in spite of all their faults and flaws, then they stand a good chance of making the marriage work.
Marriage is difficult for many reasons. Marry to young and the couple is too immature. One of the partners is immature. One or both are abusive (verbally, physically, and, or sexually). One or both have affairs. Both partners are very wounded from past hurts. One or both parties need an Anger Management Class. Some may need therapy. Others may need to be medicated. Still, others may need parenting classes. Yes, sometimes it is BEST for the parties to part and get a divorce. But, if your issues can be worked through, stay in the marriage and do so. It takes two committed people who are willing to do what it takes to keep the marriage/family together.
It's not hard or complicated imo, it's just people make it like that.Society has these "perfect ideals" of how marriage should work, couples read them,fail at this "advice" and then the divorce comes around.Marriage doesn't come with an instructions manual -we have to work at it, build on it and create a future for ourselves and our family.It only becomes complicated when we live through others' ideals.Divorce is only a last resort when all else has failed.
Its hard because you have to COMMIT , :)
Because peoples expectations are way too high and I personally think that people shouldn't have to marry each other to let each other know they each other. If they loved each other enough they shouldn't have to seal the deal with marriage.