Stop being door mats men, no were in the word man is being a fool. Do you guys realize that over 1/3 of DNA test prove another man to be the father. Think about, 1/3 of it's your child and 10 years later you find out it isn't. This is when the world tells you to " be a man". It's all BS. Being a man doesn't mean being a fool or door mat. In the end it all comes around, when she wants to come back it your chance to slam the door in her face like the lie, she told you. The best way to get even is to find a partner that will atleast tell you the truth, and live a happy life.
It really should be a no brainer File for a divorce. If she could cheat on you and then lie about it all in the "name of having a baby" get real---you can't have a true solid marriage if you can't trust your partner. Honesty is everything in a marriage besides---someday that child (or the real father of that child) will want to know and has a right to know---the effects will be so hard and do you really want to pay child support for a child that is not yours and was created on lies--That is not love and if you think it is do your self a favor and get some couseling because you are selling yourself short
This is a true matter of the heart. The decision should be yours and not anyone else's. No one can really say what they would do in this situation until they are in it. We are human with real human emotions and one of them is love. Your wife has made a mistake that resulted not only in cheating but a child on the way. Ask yourself if she can make amends to you over time. If she will be honest and faithful from this point on. Sit down and talk not only with her but the child's father. This must be done to rebuild and clear the air. You all need to make plans for such a delicate situation. There is no more room for secrets in either direction. If you chose to stay you need to sit and explain that the journey will be a long and hard one. You need reassurance from her that she will be faithful from this point on. Do not be afraid to explain how embarrassed and humiliated you feel. The impact that this will have not only on your family life at home but between her family and yours. Be calm but be honest. If you chose to go please do so before the baby is born. Because like it or not the baby can't help that its parents were selfish beings. And you will be apart of this child's life. Can you accept such terms? Look at yourself in the mirror and ask if you can handle this. Be honest and truthful and demand the same. If you forgive then don't forget but do not harbor ill will. I feel you will make the best decision for your family.
Divorce her and the baby. Let the other guy take care of it, that is his problem now. You should not have to take care of someone else's kid. It should not be your responsibility to take care of the child. If in the future scenario, you raise the child, eventually it will look for the biological father, and it will leave you behind and knowing that you are his/her father only by name and by relationship. But still you can't ignore the truth that it is not your child.
What does she want to do? If she has asked for your forgiveness and vowed to continue in the marriage and you accept her apology, love, and love child, then you will go on. Make sure you can handle this because there is an innocent child involved. If you really feel you cannot get over this in the manner that will make your family a family, then by all means leave.
Why would you want to stay with a wife who cheats on you, expects you to raise another man's kid and still demands you be faithful to her? What purpose does that serve?
Nobody needs a child badly enough to break up a happy marriage, which is a risk your wife took when she slept with someone else. If you've decided you want to stay with her, that's your choice, but you do need to be over this because the children will be affected if you don't forgive and FORGET!
By making this choice some might say you're a better man than most or you're a bit naive. Either way, it's your choice and I hope your wife doesn't make a habit of this.
the right thing to do is usually the hardest, especially if you really love her, but can you really ever expect to trust this woman again? She did not consider you when she was on another guy's dick. Her words may not say it but her actions are telling you that she does not care about you and she has no integrity.
I am having the same problem. I love this girl to death. We broke up first time when we are really in love and that part was my fault and I stand by her and got her back when I got her back she already pregnant up till today she never tell me who she went and abort it. A year later she got pregnant by someone else during that time we not doing nothing no sex. Due to the fact that she not working and she not happy I leave her alone. She had a 8years old when I met her and one foster child I was the one taken care of them all. At this point I don't know what to do we just move in a new Apt. When this happened. I live her a lot and I don't know if she loves me What can I do?
I am in this situation and right now I feel like its a hard decision to make but in honesty you should actually think about the relationship you have with your wife. If it is good you will want to make sure that the baby is treated the most important in this situation. If you can deal with the idea that she or he will look for their bio dad, you can stay, however, if you can stand by her with this child you have to be honest with yourselves and the child. The lies will come out to this child one day be it someone in the street or family treating him poorly. I know how that feels, and I am on the verge of decision right now. Please no marriage is worth this... If you truly love her you would go through good and bad. And I mean good and bad. Not just conviencience for anyone, humilation or not, its not right to let something go on with some honesty.
So it's been 9 months from this post, what did you do? My wife did the same thing and I don't know what to do. I still love her so I want to make it work but how? She doesn't know if she even wants me or him. So if we do try to make this work, how do we get past it? How is your marriage now?
Hey I'm living through the same situation in my life right now. Well I got married with my wife 6jan 2010,soon its our 2nd year anniversary. Before all this we was together as a couple for 1year. And she had from an earlier relationship a daughter at that time when I met her 4years old. (the father run off when he got the news that he would be a father) so she doent have any other father than me. She calls me dad etc. I accepted my wife with her child. And now for about a year ago my wife cheated on me (went out 2 weeks with a guy) , I got over it somehow, she said and told me she was being honest and told me everything, that there was no secrets left behind. In december last year we take a pregnancy test and its positive, I was happy and excited about the idea that I would be a dad '1 baby'.. My 'son' was born this year 19july, now he's 4 months old. But for 5 days ago I found out its not mine! (its the guy she dated) I love my wife but I don't know if I can go on like this, I'm hurt with pain that you can't explain or its hard to put with words..I don't know if just disappear, I really don't know what to do or what decision to make..she says she loves me and is willing to do anything for me that she doesnt want to lose me....I really don't know what to think anymore...Any suggestions? Thank you
If she still attached to the person who got her pregnant then that means ask her if you love me or do you love him, and say I love you and I will love the baby when it comes, and treat it as it was mine,then if she decides how romantic is was when you were here with the baby, she will be with you and leave the other, now go get your wife back!~*Charles~*
