How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I Need Space With Out Making Him Feel Bad?


2 Answers

Lena JH Profile
Lena JH answered
Well don't make it sound like you are trying to break up with him because that isn't what you're trying to do. You should plan days away to yourself (start off with just one day in a week) and let him know what you plan to do but it's going to be a day for you. He should be able to understand that, guys like to get away to do guy stuff sometimes too. Also, maybe you guys can pick a day out of the weekend where he spends time with his guy friends and you spend time with your girl friends. Make it seem like a good thing for both of you, not just "I'm around you too much, leave me alone!"
thanked the writer.
Ann Vossler
Ann Vossler commented
Great advice. I couldn't have said it better myself if I tried.
Anonymous commented
I just think he's guna think that im trying to see someone else...
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

Just tell him:  I don't want to make you feel bad, but I need a certain amount of space.  And if he chooses to feel bad, HE is responsible for his feelings, NOT you.  I hope you are very clear with yourself that space is all you need and that there are no hidden agendas.  It sounds like you are being pretty honest and just need space.  Okay, no problem.  I am the kind of person who needs an ENORMOUS amount of alone time.  Thankfully, my husband understands that, and he needs HIS space as well.  So I get where you are coming from.  I used to worry that there was something wrong with me because I like being alone so much.  No longer.  I just accepted that is an essential part of who I am.  So, it is perfectly all right and necessary to take care of your own needs.  If he is a good boyfriend, and has some respect for you as a person, and not just what you can do for him, then he will understand.  If he does NOT understand, drop him like a hot potato and find someone who will respect you and give you what you need.  Life is very, very short.  Even though it may seem like you have all the time in the world, you DON'T.  Make it count.  It's your only life.  Don't waste it with people who are not right for you.    Be fearless in standing up for your own truth and your own needs.

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