It depends on the situation and the people involved. The idea of someone going up the stairs second is to offer support if the person stumbles, However, a woman may feel embarrassed about going up the stairs first if she has a short skirt on, and so the man should go first in that circumstance.
Some people have the idea that women like to feel cherished and looked after, so a man going up the stairs second is a caring and desired gesture. In fact, many women feel, particularly if there is no physical reason why the woman needs to be supported, patronised and annoyed at having to collude with old fashioned and sexist gestures that subliminally reduce women to little girls that need to be looked after by a big brave man.
There is a fine line though, and it is easy to fall foul of it. If a man assumes that the woman he is with will be upset if he adopts the role of protector and simply goes up the stairs in front of her, she may believe that he is simply rude. The probable only safe way to address this problem is to be aware of subtle gestures in body language that will give you clues to how you should behave.
If you still really don’t know what would be best then you can take the circumstances into consideration and use them to your advantage. For example, if the reason you are going up the stairs is to show someone round a house, the man can quite easily say that he will go first so that he can show the woman where to go. This shows that he is being polite and wanting to make her comfortable so that she doesn’t end up on the landing not knowing which direction to take, and also negates the chance of offending her.
Some people have the idea that women like to feel cherished and looked after, so a man going up the stairs second is a caring and desired gesture. In fact, many women feel, particularly if there is no physical reason why the woman needs to be supported, patronised and annoyed at having to collude with old fashioned and sexist gestures that subliminally reduce women to little girls that need to be looked after by a big brave man.
There is a fine line though, and it is easy to fall foul of it. If a man assumes that the woman he is with will be upset if he adopts the role of protector and simply goes up the stairs in front of her, she may believe that he is simply rude. The probable only safe way to address this problem is to be aware of subtle gestures in body language that will give you clues to how you should behave.
If you still really don’t know what would be best then you can take the circumstances into consideration and use them to your advantage. For example, if the reason you are going up the stairs is to show someone round a house, the man can quite easily say that he will go first so that he can show the woman where to go. This shows that he is being polite and wanting to make her comfortable so that she doesn’t end up on the landing not knowing which direction to take, and also negates the chance of offending her.
