I told an ex joke to my girl friend which made her mad. What can I do now?

3

3 Answers

Pepper pot Profile
Pepper pot answered

She admitted that her ex upset her when she was talking to you over text while drinking vodka.  It's not really a good thing to make jokes about an ex if she is still upset over him.  You may have been trying to use humour in order to make her laugh and warm to you, but you didn't judge the situation very well.  If she is still hung up on her ex nothing you say is going to make things better for her and if she still likes him, you may always say the wrong thing because you are not him. 

Give her some space.  Stop having opinions on the ex. If she is still talking about him she is not over him. If you do not want to listen to what she has to say about her ex just tell her, you don't have to be her sounding board.  It's very confusing as to what her relationship is with you, she seems to be treating you like a friend, the problem is you like her and the things she talking to you about, you don't want to hear, no one wants to hear about the ex.

3 People thanked the writer.
Alexandre Broich
Alexandre Broich commented
Yeah, I know that now that it was a really bad stupid joke. I just wished I realized that sooner. I just didn't think it would go that way cause ya I just thought it was annoyingly funny. But I failed to recognize the feelings she had for that dude. I feel really bad about it now. Hopefully everything will be alright between us soon. Thanks
Pepper pot
Pepper pot commented
No worries, I hope it turns out ok
Alexandre Broich Profile

Additional info:

Ok tonight I made an ex joke to my girl out of nowhere. So my girl's ex's name is "Eden". I made fun of it " Garden of Eden" if you're familiar of it it's in the Bible. The name is just too funny for a dude to not make fun of. Also, he was a douche for cheating on her with her bestfriend and choosing her bestfriend over her cause hes more into the bestfriend and i dont get the fuck why he didnt date the bestfriend in the first place if he's more into the bestfriend. It irritates me to think about it, that he did hurt my girl that way, cause my girl admitted to me that she hurt her feelungs for that douche and cried while drinking vodka overnight i was there cause she was talking to me while she was drunk not personally but via text. But still, you can feel her pain that she was hurting cause she was saying that she really liked that douchebag and i don't understand why some women would date that kind of men, that is you know, shitheads. I don't know why they can't see through that some men are just full of shit and they deserve so much better than to be treated like crap. I really like this girl tho, we're not official or anything but she is very special to me and she said I am too for her. So ya, I joke about it sometimes but tonight she just got mad at me for it, calling me annoyingly immature because of it. Cause i was bringing up the past and making a joke out of it. I just don't understand cause I thought they weren't that serious cause she told me so, that they just dated for a couple of months so they weren't official or serious at all. But I don't get why she was suddenly mad at me about it, about a stupid ex joke. So I said: 

Me: "I'd rather go in a garden this valentines day" 

Her: "Ohhhh garden agaiiiiiiiiiiiiin, idk if ur obsessed wth garden or what"

Me: "Ya I am, garden of weed, is that bad?"

Her: "Oh im obsessed with u tho, is that bad?"

Me: "Like when u were obsessed with a garden bfore? Orrr?"

Her: "im never obsessed wt a garden, why are u making up stories?"

Me: "oh really, I thought a garden hurt ur feelungs once, ahhh 8("

Her: "ok i dont want to talk to u anymore, ur annoying pfft"

Me: " ok my bad, told u i was annoying"

Her: " you are and sometimes u dont know what ur saying anymore, cause its not funny"

And so on, ofcourse i wanted to explain my side so i kept replying to her arguments or what she says and she got mad about it like she told me: " i don't want to talk to you today."

So i don't know what should I do? Why is she acting like that? Why does it sound like she is hurting still? Cause I thought exes or past arent suppose to bother u anymore unless there is still something there. And yes, I did apologize right after she got mad. I'm 20, she's 19 and we've know each other since November last year. They broke up around October few days after her birthday ig.Help?

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

You really wanna know what to do ??? After reading your post .. I can give you a little advise .. And To put it bluntly .. You profusely appologize for being an indignant insensitive creep.

In what world is it ok to "Make fun of anyone or their given name " not to mention to make fun of someone your GF used to care about, and probably is still recovering from being deeply hurt by this guy. That is no laughing matter. You fail to recognize your behaviour IS childish and self centered especially AFTER she responded in such a way you still failed to see that now YOU are the one responsible for hurting her. She is still hurting and deserves patience and sensitivity .. Not crass and hurtful disregard to satisfy your own twisted passive aggressive so called sense of humour.. Dumass!

2 People thanked the writer.
Alexandre Broich
Alexandre Broich commented
I really didn't mean it to go that way though. I just wanted to let her know that it's ok to laugh about the stupid mistakes we made in the past rather than be sad about it. Yeah, I have a really annoyingly weird sense of humour. And I should've thought about the harm that stupid joke could give her. But I failed to do that, cause I thought it wouldn't matter that much to her anymore. I'm such a douche for that and I hope everything will be alright soon. But ya, thanks

Answer Question

Anonymous