An online friend told me that she loved me. What did she mean by this, based on the context? (Information in answers section.)

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7 Answers

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

Why don't you just ask her the next time you guys talk?

Dumb Goat Profile
Dumb Goat answered

I'm terribly sorry for how petty and frivolous this seems, I am just genuinely confused. I had chatted with her, along with a few other online friends over a chat room thing which also offered video calls. On Christmas she was chilling with a few of her cousins and friends and wanted me to meet them, so we had a video call. At one point she was speaking to me and I was chatting about the band I used to be in; it's premise and why I left. She ended up commenting, "I like you a lot, I think you're really cool." I didn't think much of it as I thought she was saying this in reference to the band and why I left (it was a pretty unique band.) Shortly afterward, she asked me if I spoke French. I replied with a no, so she followed with asking if I spoke German. I initially believed she was asking me because she was looking for a hint to what country I'm in, as it's now a common joke between the chat-group to try to guess where I'm from, so I tease them by withholding information. I refused to state if I spoke German, teasing about how I'm not going to give her a hint as to my language. She then replied saying that she wasn't asking to locate me, and that she needed to tell me something. I then asked, "What, do you not want the other people to understand what you have to say?" and she said that was the case, so I offered that she type it in the chat as her cousins and real-life friends were not a part of the chat. She then smiled a bit as though from embarrassment, and said that she will tell me what she wanted to tell me in French, and if I couldn't understand, then so be it. She sent me, "Je t'aime," ("I love you" in French) to which I replied "Ich liebe dich" ("I love you" in German.) I've had people online casually tell me that they love me, (in a friend way, or casual way) so normally I wouldn't think much of it but the fact that she seemed flustered and needed to say it in a way that is more private seemed to point to that she meant it in a romantic way. Additionally with decided to say it in another language, it seemed to be a bit sheepish in a way that a person is nervous with confessing their feelings. Perhaps she meant it in a playful way, kind of joking with trying to get me to listen to her talk in other languages, only to end up with a simple phrase? Or was that some kind of serious confession of her feelings somehow? I'm terribly sorry for the wall of text, I just felt that all information I provided would be helpful in reaching a conclusion on what she meant.

Zack -  Mr. GenXer Profile

On the internet, it doesn't mean a thing.

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

Well .. Lets think about this. 

The reality is .. You are complete strangers .. FYI: On line chats, don't equate to getting to 'know you'.  She knows nothing about you, she only knows what you have told her .. So, she has no means of confirming what you have told her and has either chosen to blindly trust you .. OR .. Is playing you in hopes that you will blindling trust her.

Remember .. You know nothing about her either .. You ONLY know what she has chosen to tell you.  For all you know EVERYTHING  she has told you could potentially be a lie.

Her telling you she 'loves you' .. Is even more suspect because that would lay heavily in evidence that she is playing you. 

Time will tell. Be carefull what you choose to reveal .. When you play the game of Rushian Roulette on line. You never know if something will explode in your face.

thanked the writer.
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Dumb Goat
Dumb Goat commented
Honestly I think you are demonizing the internet.
There are ways besides body language and tone of voice to detect lying. I'm actually pretty good at it, even when it is just written. However, we have been able to talk in a manner where we can see another. Video calls are a live chat, like a phone call except with a camera so you see what the other is doing while you chat. Even so, how would being able to physically see someone or not really make "friendship" so black and white? So you can say it has a chance of not being as honest, or even say it isn't as close, but to take it to the extreme and say that anyone you know online is a stranger and nothing more is just black and white, demonizing the internet thinking. Some liars are really good at looking convincing in real life; plus I'm more wary of real life individuals anyways, because they can know where you live and harm you physically, or take your money, anything. It is difficult to hurt someone online unless they give you personal information to do so, which I'm not going to do. Why are you suspicious of her? Solely for being on the internet? What do you think she'd even try to accomplish, like she's gonna try to say "lol i love you so gimme ur credit card number"?
Dumb Goat
Dumb Goat commented
People are taught that they should be careful on the internet, which is true. Make sure to choose strong passwords and not give personal information to people you meet online. However, I think that many people tend to see it in a bad light and do not give it its due respect because they are taught that real life=good and internet=bad.
Bikergirl Anonymous
I think your missing my point entirely .. Sure people are well aware that they need to be careful on the Internet .. We all know. The Internet is a platform form predators to find potential victims.
I never said SHE was untrustworthy .. I'm just saying it's easier to fool people AND be fooled on the Internet .. It's a statistical fact. That does not mean everyone is untrustworthy.. It just makes it harder to judge.
SHE may very well be a lovely individual .. But I caution you about anyone who professes they are "in love"given the kind of contact you have had and the short length of time you have been "getting to know each other" . REAL Love is not that easy to acquire.
Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Take it at face value.

But it's impossible to tell what "I love you" means to a specific person without knowing the person understanding of that word.

Generally speaking, when "I love you" is said to the opposite sex without a qualification as to meaning, it means that they at least feel very positively about you.

Usually that feeling is the result of a neutransmitter storm.  It's real, but it doesn't indicate whether it will actually become a long term relationship.

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