Anonymous

My sister left a few months ago and disowned our family but she is still the golden child in my dad's eyes. I feel like he doesn't love me or my other sister, brother or mother. What should I do because I don't like being around his negativity?

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Jann Nikka Profile
Jann Nikka answered

Nothing you can do about his negative comments or attitude towards you or other family members. All could band together in your love, support, encouragement and care for each other. Never ever band together to hate or direct hate at your father. Never.

My younger sister was the "Golden Daughter" of my deceased mother, she made her extreme favoritism known, showed it daily and for over 58 years( my sister's age) and publicly declared my sister was LOVED and I was a absolutely nothing, less than human from birth to 17 as I lived in her home. She put me out at 17. (That's another story). It hurt for 15 years, I cried inside but never on the outside. I technically left home at 20, officially at 30 and never spoke to her for 30 years.

Only about 5 times did I talk to her, 8 months before she died 2014? No apologies were given, none were expect. None would have been given.

Keep your head up, love yourself and those love you. Never give into hate, don't try to reason with a hater and never lower yourself to disrepest the hater. You have family that love you embrace and support them.

Update: Golden Daughter, the next day after her funeral pour out her ashes in a service station garbage can and then threw the urn in as well, I  stood there in shock, disbelief and with my mouth open, she said to me get in the car I did (still in shock) we drove off, never spoke about her on the 500 miles 8 hr drive back home and had never spoke or mentioned her name from 2014. 

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

All I can say is limit you time around him as much as possible and always do your best in whatever you do. Don't let his negativity be the deciding factor in your life.

My husband's mother moved her and her two son's into his grandmother's house after she divorced for the second time. My husband's older brother was his grandmother's favorite. If she gave the boys a cupcake to split his grandmother would cut the top off and give my husband's brother and would give my husband the bottom of the cupcake. My husband's mother never said anything. The grandmother gave the brother whatever he wanted.

He ended up dropping out high school just short of graduating. Married some girl and had two kids. Then his wife left him and the kids. He was so used to having things his way that when real life set in he was failing.

My husband on the other hand not only graduated from high school, but enlisted in the military. He then started taking college classes while serving. First he not only got an AA degree, but got most of his unit to go and get theirs. This got him noticed and he was then put into an officer training program. The Army actually paid him to go to college. He got his bachelors degree and became a commissioned officer. After serving overseas when he came back to the US, he started working on his masters degree. He retired from the Army and then got a job where he was working excellent hours for great pay.

His life is so much better than his brother's because he didn't listen to the negativity. The same can be yours.

3 People thanked the writer.
Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
I am very proud of your husband for being able to rise up out of that situation and even though he had reason and opportunity he never said "I told you so" or put his grandmother and brother down. THAT takes a lot of courage, self restraint, self discipline and patience! A pat on your husbands back for sure!
Jann Nikka
Jann Nikka commented
Amen :)

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