Anonymous

Something my boyfriend does, he knows severely irritates me. Have had issues with this in the past, but he went ahead and did it again today. I asked him why, he said, he likes doing it. How can I tell him there will be consequences if he keeps it up?

6 Answers

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

YOU can NOT change him...... YOU can only change YOURSELF. Sorry but if he is not willing to change then chances are he will continue to do what it is he did so the only solution if you want to stay with him is find a way of putting up with it.

Cookie Roma Profile
Cookie Roma answered

Apparently you've already shown him there really aren't consequences. 

KB Baldwin Profile
KB Baldwin answered

Is it rude, inconsiderate, dangerous, unwise, etc, or is it just something that ticks you off and wouldn't bother someone else?

That information would be important to how I answer this question.

5 People thanked the writer.
View all 4 Comments
KB Baldwin
KB Baldwin commented
Wow! Sounds like minor irritation to me, but I'm unusually tolerant of odd behavior. He doesn't sound malicious, just juvenile. At this point, you have three choices. As several. people have pointed out, 1) lower the boom on him. Consequences if he doesn't stop 2) Negotiate with him about the noise - e.g popping packing balloons is OK if you are warned, but the nonsense with the straw has to stop. 3) Lighten up and learn to live with it.
S L jamen
S L jamen commented
So, how do you suggest I handle my nervous system and irritation when he does these childish actions.
PJ Stein
PJ Stein commented
Ask him to take it outside or give you notice so you can leave the room or put earbuds in and listen to music to block it out. The only other option is to leave him.
Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

We all have choices in our relationships. To me, this is a deal-breaker. He's so immature, he'd rather annoy the crap out of you so he can get a reaction rather than stop doing it because it bothers you.

I have zippo tolerance for rude, immature people.

John, I have come to realize that you enjoy startling me all the time, by doing _________.  You and I have talked about it but it doesn't seem like you care about my feelings in this.

This has now become a deal-breaker for me, because of your lack of respect and your immaturity.  Should you continue to do ______, I will give my notice to the landlord and will begin looking for another place to stay.  It will be hard to make this move because I care about you - but this immaturity and lack of respect has forced my hand.

If you say you're going to do something, then stick to it - otherwise, it's just empty threats and he will continue to act like an uncivilized baboon.

Answer Question

Anonymous