It could be one of a few things.
You almost lost your mate and the fear of that happening again is forcing the urge to procreate before the possibility of losing him.
It's probably not a good time in his healing to get him all excited and like you said, you usually desire what you can't have at the moment.
Maybe you're just randy as hell.
It could be many things, sweet Yin.
Junior is getting older and he isn't as reliant on mom. I've known many who want another child when their little one starts pushing mom away. It's natural to want a little one again.
You and hubby had a life and death scare, you might want to reconnect with him, and are craving intimacy.
Every time I have experienced death, hubby and I have had to celebrate "life" by knocking it out. Our hearts are broken and that act reminds us that we are indeed living, we celebrate our living, together.
Sweet, is it him or a baby you are craving? Sit on that thought for a bit, and maybe you'll find the answers you are needing. Hugs.
Dear Y&Y,
I am seeing this as actually something very deep, mystical, spiritual... Also, however, profoundly connected to who we are as women, primal, instinctual and Earth-centered.
I dealt with all this kind of thing in myself by studying the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, as well as folks like Joseph Campbell...
The act of love-making, on the archetypal level, represents our mystical Oneness unifying, unity with each other and all of creation. And we experience that spiritual Oneness most clearly with a beloved spouse...
Women and men ARE different...right down to the soul level...women deeply spiritual connection to the Earth...the mystery of child-bearing...
* * *
You are on the right track, I believe, looking for some understanding of what is happening with you instinctually, and then use intellect for rational decisions as to how to handle it.
It's a human thing, Yin. To reach out and be close to someone; to share an act of love which will hopefully result in a child. It somehow validates you.
It's such an intense thing to go through - you just want something to hold onto - to validate your existence as a human being. Perhaps what you're craving is his physical presence. I'm glad your husband pulled through, Yin.
When my father had his first heart attack in the late 60's and was in the hospital, my wife and I few up to Colorado to see him the day after.
A damaged heart is susceptible to a second heart attack in the first day or two after the first one.
When he passed that that critical time period, I felt an overwhelming urge to have another child.
I was amazed at the feeling, and I am not sure where it came from; but as a man, I would never had expected it.
What caused that feeling?---I don't really know, but I think it had something to do with showing death it could never win over life.
...And that explanation still makes perfect sense to me.
And in your case, I would add the probability that sexual intercourse in marriage is such a life-affirming experience would be part of your (perhaps unrecognized) motivation and in that case, similar to mine.
Shock can make you think in strange ways. Id say wait until it passes as you have and then re-evaluate your emotions. It may have always been in your sub conscious or in the back of your mind, but you were just too busy going about your life( I don't know your life) to really( just guessing I know nothing) to really think about it. Its like those people that want to do something all of a sudden when they are in their late 30s or so.
Pure speculation and I could be totally wrong as most responses are decades older than I am.
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